Halloween Contest 2014

It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win the grand prize of:

  • a signed copy of my Cat Adventures book
  • a signed copy of my Savage Chickens book
  • a set of three Lizard Pals buttons
  • a set of three Cat Adventures buttons

2014 Grand Prize

And there will be two runner-up winners, who will both win a signed copy of the Cat Adventures book.

To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, tweet your answer, or send it to me via my contact form. Winners will be announced on Halloween!

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235 Responses to Halloween Contest 2014

  1. Johnny Bley says:

    Your late partner says you have a tee-time with him for 8:00 am!

  2. Johnny Bley says:

    Colonel Sanders would like for you to join him for dinner.

  3. Johnny Bley says:

    Your great Uncle Yogi Berrachicken says, “Never count your chickens before they cross the road.”

  4. Johnny Bley says:

    Your cousin Louie says, “Eat mor cows!”

  5. Jens Boldsen says:

    Spirits I compel thee. Obfuscate the cognizance of yonder ignorami!
    Grant me the power to hoodwink them into relinquishing a plentiful of funds!

  6. Rob says:

    Ok guys, do you prefer Jack the Ripper, Freddy Krueger or Jack-o’-lantern?

  7. Rob says:

    I can’t remember why I am here!

  8. Fränz says:

    “I see…
    the winners of this contest, which have been announced five minutes ago!”

  9. Marco_Mo says:

    “i can only see a cat riding a roomba”

  10. Tiva says:

    The spirits would like one large pizza with sausage and mushrooms,and one small with peppers and anchovies.

  11. Spender says:

    The spirit says he’s sure it’s not a mephitic emanation from the beyond!

  12. Enzo C. says:

    “Oh honey! Even after death you complain about my seances… Can’t you follow the light and let us continue?”

  13. Kira M. says:

    “Your mother is here…yes…she is telling me…to go clean your apartment, it’s filthy.”

  14. pera says:

    “Electricity should be back on any minute now..”

  15. Keith says:

    “His spirit isn’t available at this time- please leave a message at the moan”

  16. Tom R. says:

    Oh, great spirits, we who are about to be plucked salute you!

  17. Tom R. says:

    The spirits say the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about.

  18. Tom D. says:

    “I can see… yes… in an hours… you will be very dissapointed with my medium skills!”

  19. Joseph says:

    “She said your car keys are behind the sofa…next!”

  20. mariusg says:

    Where’s the remote, granny?

  21. Tom R. says:

    Spirits roam the night
    Searching for lost chicken souls.
    Don’t let them get yours.

  22. Tom R. says:

    They want to know why egg production is down.

  23. Tom R. says:

    They say, “If you hear ‘She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain’, HIDE!”

  24. Lucy says:

    Your Mother is here. She has a message for you… she says that you need to stay away from garlic and Red Wine.

  25. Natalie Redhead says:

    It’s the spirit of the Great Pumpkin. Anybody here go by the name Linus?

  26. Natalie Redhead says:

    According to those from beyond the grave, full power should be restored within the next hour.

  27. Ron Z says:

    “Is there someone here whose name begins with ‘Cluck’, or maybe ‘Baaaaah-uck’?”

  28. Branden Gunn says:

    For the third time, they say they don’t deliver pizza.

  29. Momz says:

    All-knowing spirits tell us
    Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

  30. Carolyn Lowe says:

    Hello, you’ve reached the Zombies. I’m sorry, we are no longer answering calls from mediums. You can find us on the highway.

  31. JoeT says:

    This time I know we will contact Houdini with my new Apple iBall 6+!

  32. Jean Detjen says:

    I see eggcellent things in your future…

  33. Jake Heidman says:

    I was going to give you guys your fortunes, but this bandana hurts too much to think

  34. Jean Detjen says:

    Poultry futures look promising. Unfortunately, predators are aware of this prediction.

  35. Kally says:

    Ohhh..Uhmmm..Your boss is here and asks you to leave the seance and go finish your project,fellas.

  36. Jean Detjen says:

    It’s time to clip your wings and fly!

  37. Jean Detjen says:

    I sense a strange pecking order in the room…

  38. Jean Detjen says:

    I smell giblets and gravy. Grandpa, is that you???

  39. Alex S says:

    Parrot must be sitting on the aerial again because I’m getting nothing on this thing!

  40. Sam says:

    Jack Sparrow here, me wants me compass back…mahahaha

  41. Jim says:

    Spirits! We must know! Which came first the chicken or the egg?!

  42. Peter says:

    I sense a strong presence… wait, never mind I’m just getting a text from my mom.

  43. Yuval says:

    “‘Arrr, arrr arrr’, methinks I’m just getting static”

  44. Yuval says:

    Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing to these bilge rats amassed at this plank. Smartly now!

    • Yuval says:

      or, slightly altered: “Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing to yonder bilge rats amassed at this plank. Smartly now!”

      • Yuval says:

        or, shorter: “Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing! Smartly now!”

        or maybe: “Avast, yonder insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing! Smartly now!”

  45. Nate P says:

    “I see…. a speech bubble.”

  46. Caike says:

    Entry 1:
    “Ok, who invited the gigantic pigeon?”

    Entry 2:
    “Should the baby be flying and spitting green stuff right now?”

    Entry 3:
    “In the future, somebody will remember to pay the eletric bill”

    Entry 4:
    “Do you thing the big dynamite above can be a problem with this candle?”

    Entry 5:
    “The dead tell mee… Clung, clung ooohhhh clung, uuuuhhhhh, clung chung!”

  47. Marcia says:

    “Harold? Harold, are you there? Please tell us once and for all. WHY did you cross the road?”

  48. Marifran says:

    (with a pop-up ad drawn in) Message from beyond will continue in 15 seconds.

  49. Enzo C. says:

    “No guys, that noise was just the roof…i think…”

  50. Oracle says:

    Behold the mysterious and ghostly Comic Sans appearing above our heads.

  51. Frederick Curtis says:

    That’s no Angel…….that’s a Hawk!

  52. Composer99 says:

    Together, we shall call those who have crossed the road… to the other side.

  53. Miles Archer says:

    I am sensing something most fowl.

    He was a very bad egg

  54. Cheryl Viering says:

    Oh Great Aunt Betsey, Why DID you cross the road?

  55. Yuval says:

    “This broadcast is brought to you in part by Azazel’s Non-Melt Ice Cream. 31 flavours that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell”

    • Yuval says:

      (actually, Beelzebub rings better, so:)

      “This broadcast is brought to you in part by Beelzebub’s Non-Melt Ice Cream. 31 flavours that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell”

  56. TheRealAaron says:

    “I see…the electric company not getting the power back on for 6 more hours.”

  57. Tony says:

    The power will come back on in 31 seconds.

  58. Robert Runte says:

    The number for the Swiss bank account was in the breast pocket of the jacket you buried me in.

  59. Wildbird says:

    Your scuadualed to play short stop for heavens basebal team on thursday

  60. Alissa C. says:

    The spirits are revealing to me a tan Corolla parked in front of a fire hydrant. They come with a grave warning: the owner will be ticketed.

  61. Matt says:

    “The spirits are telling me to first tone down my Jack Sparrow impersonation.”

  62. JustMe says:

    dear spirit, We must all know, in the afterlife do you float around like a chicken with your head cut off?

  63. Marco_Mo says:

    “he says you should have put a ring on it”

  64. Allen's Brain says:

    Your mother wants to know: Did she leave the iron on?

  65. Tarcizo says:

    “Spiritual Speech Balloon, are you with us?”

  66. Allen's Brain says:

    Was your grandfather in the army? I’m getting something about serving with Colonel Sanders.

  67. Allen's Brain says:

    Spirit of Douglas Savage, we beseech thee…

  68. Allen's Brain says:

    Hey! Keep it down up there! We’re tryin’ to have a seance!

  69. Allen's Brain says:

    Ooh! Ectoplasmic speech bubble! We’ve contacted the ghost of a dead cartoonist!

  70. Allen's Brain says:

    We’re fine, Ma! Just go back upstairs and close the door!

  71. Allen's Brain says:

    It’s the spirit of your first goldfish, Matilda. She says, “When are you going to feed me?”

  72. Allen's Brain says:

    It’s your Great Aunt Polly… She wants… a cracker…

  73. Elizabeth says:

    Entry 1
    Was it Professor Plum in the library with the lead pipe?

    Entry 2
    You said you were killed by giant pepper pots demanding to know the location of the Doctor…Doctor who?

  74. Marco_Mo says:

    She’s looking for Obi Wan, he’s her only hope

  75. Kristen says:

    This question is for Harold. Marjorie wants to know where you put the Thanksgiving wreath and don’t say in the garage because she already looked there.

  76. Simon says:

    And the ghostly speech bubble was finally put to rest when the artist was able to add the punch line.

  77. Iouri says:

    I must say that I am really, really disappointed by the new version of the iBall

  78. Big Egg says:

    I told you there was a ghost living in my mouth!

  79. Iana says:

    (To all participants: The crystal ball on the table looks like a snow globe to me. Any idea of a joke referring to this resemblance?) 🙂

  80. Leonard Steele says:

    Even after brain surgery all I can see is that damn string stretching off to infinity!

  81. Westside guy says:

    … and if you look right at it, you can watch the words appear right as I say them!

  82. Erik Scott says:

    Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ghost…happy birthday to you

  83. YF says:

    Well guys, the crystal ball tells me that the winner is YF.

  84. Jack says:

    what the…if this is my bowling ball, where’s my crystal ball?

  85. Jack says:

    I’m sorry, I can only contact ghost pirates

  86. sugar Low says:

    What do you mean “the line is busy”?!?

  87. sugar Low says:

    Ok, now everybody look up! If we do not make eye contact, maybe this one-eyeball mini-monster on the table will just roll away…

  88. Jordan McGovern says:

    Your cat says the “nine lives” thing was a myth and you should not have tested it.

  89. brian t says:

    “So, we’re all going to be crushed by a falling elephant, a few seconds from now? Um … is there anybody *else* out there?”

  90. Nicolás says:

    Before we start… #halloween #possession #Gypsy

  91. Danielle says:

    The interrupting cow!

    *Top ten knock knock jokes for the other side.

  92. Kristi Meacham says:

    I see an old man in a white suit with a pointy beard…

  93. Pamela Dunlap says:

    For all of you I see… eventual death!


  94. Patrick Walters says:

    I more clearly see the great ball from which all life flows, and glimpse which I can only imagine are the hairy knuckles of an ape.

  95. Dani says:

    “you have reached the voicemail of George, I’m currently out of my grave but please leave a message and a contact medium and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. beep!” 🙂

  96. nicole says:

    Oh great spirit from beyond the grave, your wife has a dire need to know, Where did you leave the tv remote?

  97. sugar Low says:

    “Rosebud”? Again with the “rosebud”?

  98. sugar Low says:

    What do you mean my crystal ball needs a software upgrade?!

  99. Carson Spratt says:

    I got him! Steve? Steve? You forgot to tell us how to make the birthday cake recipe, Steve…

  100. sugar Low says:

    I, the great and all knowing Lilian the Candle call to the great candles of the past! …please don’t mind the chickens around the table…

  101. Yuval Shirav says:

    “And now a word from our sponsor: There’s ice-cream in your future at Azazel’s Non-Melt Ice Cream Parlor. 31 flavors that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell.”

    (being an arguably improved version of my entry, earlier today)

  102. John Ducksbury says:

    For the last time, No this is NOT a pirate costume!

  103. Yuval says:

    “Brains, brains!”. Sorry, undead wavelength interference.

  104. Cleo says:

    “We are experiencing unusually high call volumes. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly.”

  105. Yuval says:

    “13 more likes from purgatory for your latest post, Emily”

  106. Peripherus says:

    No loved ones this time. Everybody wants to talk with Robin Williams.

  107. Morgan Hua says:

    Oink, Oink, Sooie, Yippie Yo. Oh sorry, wrong number.

  108. Oxnate says:

    It’s not a ghost. It’s just a speech bubble.

  109. Blake says:

    The 80s say they want their hair back.

  110. Rick says:

    “I hear his voice clearly… he says he was served extra crispy.”

  111. Erin Manning says:

    “It’s the ghost of Colonel Sanders! RUN!!”

  112. Erin Manning says:

    “The medium is the message?” What does that even mean?

  113. Eugene Fraxby says:

    “Ok, $10 says they won’t blow out the candle”

  114. Hayley says:

    SCREEEEEEEE— CACHUNG! Oops, sorry folks, I think we contacted their fax machine.

  115. John says:

    The crystal ball will now tell us how to split the bill plus tip.

  116. John says:

    The next winner of American Idol will be…

  117. John says:

    I foresee…an overdose of pumpkin spice in your future.

  118. Rebecca says:

    “Eenie meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak!”

  119. GreyNoise says:

    Y’know, I actually be pirate, yarr. The medium be actually the one on the other side right now.

  120. Adam says:

    Other chicken: “She can only channel Marcel Marceau”

  121. Yuval says:

    They’re saying they don’t do voice calls any more. Text only.

  122. Chris Fahrlander says:

    “Yes, Yes, Not a chance in hell, Behind the couch in an old sock, and Yup, those are your chicks…. and now the questions…”

  123. Jirka Malina says:

    Relax, that’s only broken light bulb. I didn’t started yet.

  124. D. Howery says:

    Sorry about that walking the plank thing. Would you please tell us where you hid the treasure map?

  125. Natalie Redhead says:

    Don’t try to cross the road, he says.

  126. Natalie Redhead says:

    She’s trying to cross over but can’t get to the other side.

  127. Natalie Redhead says:

    They claim the spiritual super highway is too busy to cross over.

  128. James says:

    You can’t be Elvis – everyone knows that he’s alive and well and will be playing Santa at Sears.

  129. Natalie Redhead says:

    Apparently he’s seen what’s on the other side and it’s not worth crossing over.

  130. Natalie Redhead says:

    That’s right, Frank, walk gently across that last road to get to the other side.

  131. Antonio says:

    “I wish those upstairs neighbours would be quieter and wouldn’t rock this table all the time!”

    Best, Antonio

    PS: Doug, do you participate in movember?

  132. D. Howery says:

    Spirits, what is this 404 error of which you speak? We don’t understand.

  133. Rebecca says:

    Spirit of Patrick Swayze come to me so we can go to your bank and get me three million dollars!

  134. Rebecca says:

    Spirit of Patrick Swayze come to me so we can go to your bank to get three million dollars

  135. Patrick Smith says:

    They say to send more Chuck Berry.

  136. Payton Kooi says:

    Alright, let’s all sing happy birthday to aunt Freda now

  137. David Windhorst says:

    “Make money off your fortune with AdSendz”

  138. David Windhorst says:

    The spirits say, “Beware of pirates disguised as gypsies.”

  139. Cassie says:

    We’re all dying to know – Why did the chicken cross to the other side?

  140. AnnMarie Gutierrez says:

    The upcoming season of “The Bachelor” will be the MOST DRAMATIC season EVER!

  141. antonio bond says:

    And Last Weeks winning lottery numbers are:

  142. Allen's Brain says:

    Dwayne… it’s your mother… Do you have a girlfriend yet?

  143. Michelle Foster says:

    There! You got to the other side! Are you happy now?

  144. Chris P says:

    Crispy… Crispy… Original… Fox… Old age. Got it.

  145. Kent says:

    Can you be more specific than “the chicken must die”?

  146. Kent says:

    Um…can you elaborate on the “kill the chicken” statement?

  147. sugar Low says:

    Spirits from beyond… what is the WI-FI password?!

  148. Tony says:

    No no, that’s not the ghost. Only a speech bubble.

  149. Kent says:

    Snekcihc eht llik??

    That’s just plain weird.

  150. Amb says:

    “Claire? Claire Voyant? Is that you?”

    “We are using the crystal ball today because last’s attempt forecast using raw chicken nearly got me lynched”

    “Colonel Sanders. Calling Mr Sanders…”

    “Birds of a Feather seance together”

    “Somewhere above us right now is a hungry spider…”

  151. Amb says:

    You guys were right, a plutonium ball works MUCH better than a Crystal Ball…

  152. Amb says:

    She says forget the seance, I’m still alive and stuck in my coffin.

  153. Bonni says:

    “He’s saying there’s nothing to be afraid of. ‘You see a light, go through a long tunnel, then land in a really warm bath. After that, it’s a waterslide ride with lots of twists and turns.’ He loves you all. His voice is getting fainter….”

  154. mickey hennigan says:

    Welcome to the meeting of gullibles

  155. Brad says:

    This is spooky! I can see every word I say. I swear that’s never happened before.

  156. Akhil says:

    Great party. The power’s gone, the only food is a jawbreaker and no one else dressed up.

  157. John says:

    Oops, wrong ball. I just got back from my bowling league.

  158. Blake says:

    Hello operator?

  159. Payton Kooi says:

    They seem to want your brains…. Oh wait, wrong channel

  160. Payton Kooi says:

    Argh! Why me hearty, is there a crystal ball at the dinner party?

  161. Payton Kooi says:

    forget the seance, she faked her death

  162. Payton Kooi says:

    She wants to know your chemistry grade first

  163. Payton Kooi says:

    sorry, she isn’t available right now

  164. Payton Kooi says:

    She says not to trust greedy mediums

  165. Payton Kooi says:

    I see an empty wallet soon in your future, that’ll be $100

  166. Payton Kooi says:

    “I see death for all of you, but especially you Harry”

    (heading: another class with professor Trelawney)

  167. Payton Kooi says:

    “I see you all in a class taught by a horse-man, next year”

    (heading: another class with Professor Trelawney)

  168. Payton Kooi says:

    …And now a word from their sponsers

  169. Payton Kooi says:

    Whenever I get a good connection, there’s a power outage… hmmm…

  170. Payton Kooi says:

    Uncle Jim says to avoid the country

  171. Nora says:

    She says there’ll be a cock in the hen house… or is it…cook in the hen house? Either way, your fate is sealed.

  172. Nicolás says:

    Siri, call to the afterlife office

  173. Nicolás says:

    This place is not haunted, your neighbors from above are pirates

  174. Payton Kooi says:

    She says the farmer raided the hen house for dinner again

  175. Payton Kooi says:

    I can’t read anything in your hands, they’re not hands…..

  176. Payton Kooi says:

    Sorry, I read palms, not claws

  177. Renee says:

    “The spirits say that this visit is non-tax refundable.”

  178. Steve Kleiber says:

    I see…I see us all a year from now entering another contest.

  179. José Duarte says:

    Is that you…Patrick Swayze?!

  180. Payton Kooi says:

    Oh, I just got a text from one of them… Hold on, it says “brains”

    Heading: new methods

  181. Payton Kooi says:

    She says not to cross the road

  182. Payton Kooi says:

    Just because she “flew the coop” doesn’t mean she died!

  183. Payton Kooi says:

    I can’t tell who to call because of your chicken scratch

  184. Payton Kooi says:

    She was chicken hearted when the farmer came out

  185. Payton Kooi says:

    “Ain’t nobody here but us chickens,”

  186. José Duarte says:

    Yes, I can predict the future!You see… I just won the Savage Chickens Halloween Contest…

  187. Sloublues says:

    “You will die shortly after seeing that Ikea has a sale on vampire stakes”

  188. Kent says:

    The WIFI password is “chickens”…if that helps.

  189. Kent says:

    The WIFI password is “chickmagnet1″…if that helps.

  190. Cleo says:

    What? Tell Marge to update your Facebook status?

  191. Cleo says:

    He says: “On the plus side, the cubicles are bigger.”

  192. Cleo says:

    He wants to know how ‘Breaking Bad’ ended.

  193. Nicolás says:

    I sense a terrible spirit, one called Coronel Sanders

  194. Peter says:

    Oh no, I’m not a fortune teller, I’m a pirate.

  195. Ronald Snijder says:

    I’m sorry, but… did you say carrrrr or barrrrr?

  196. karina says:

    “The spirits are trying to speak… wait… RANDY stop farting!”

  197. lily says:

    1. Message from the Great Chicken Nugget in the sky….the egg came first.

    2. Feeeeeed meeeeeeeee Seymour!

    3. Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    The BIg
    The BIg who?
    THe big chicken pie in the sky.

  198. Amb says:

    I see a Darwin award in our futures… how interesting

  199. Amb says:

    She says “Don’t pay the medium! I’m still updating Facebook”

  200. DanV says:

    He says crossing over isn’t so bad, except for all the jokes he has to endure.

  201. Amb says:

    Nothing so far. Guess I’m more average than medium

  202. zusurf says:

    I can’t believe we all wore chicken costumes to this seance!

  203. SKleefeld says:

    “Oh great spirit, can you tell us: is there really a Doug?”

  204. Jordan says:

    He says to let you know about my “preferred peeps” discount on all future readings!

  205. Mary Downs says:

    I’m sure it’s pronounced “Sey-on-say”. Yes. Just like the singer.

  206. sugarLow says:

    I don’t think you get it… you have no finger for me to pull anymore!

  207. sugarLow says:

    So there is only only ONE true religion out there, and EVERYONE else is doomed?! And you are not allow to spoil it? …Bummer!

  208. Patrick Smith says:

    Well that’s new…

  209. Gale says:

    Yes, I’m wearing your scarf. You didn’t need it after death, and you can’t moon me from there, anyway! 😛

  210. AndyT13 says:

    “She says the lottery numbers are…”

  211. Payton Kooi says:

    Argh mateys! I think you’ve got this all wrong, I’m a pirate, I just got back from Thursday night bowling with me crew

  212. Payton Kooi says:

    He says it was the egg first, then the chicken

  213. Colleen says:

    Probably too late, but I’ll share anyway:

    urrrr EEEE urrr NNNGGGG CRRRRcrrrr KEEEEEEE grrr nnnnnng — It’s the only way to connect.His spirit is still on dial-up.

  214. Stuart C says:

    Panel Title: Conjuring Barry Manilow

    Bubble Text: Spirit moves me…every time I see you…could this be the magic that lasts?

  215. Hellga the Valkyrie says:

    “I have to wait 5 more seconds to skip the ad”

  216. Cassie says:

    Ah, it was murder most FOWL!

  217. Craig says:

    Sir Galahad will you be joining us today?

  218. Sanchari Sur says:

    Seems like no one is at home on Halloween.

  219. Sanchari Sur says:

    Seems like everyone is out trick or treating.

  220. Cleo says:

    Oh Great Pumpkin…where are you??

  221. Andre says:

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  222. Jay Bargeron says:

    Arr…I should’ve paid the electric bill.

  223. Clydene says:

    I see a romantic lunch in your future. A man and woman having a fried chicken lunch by a stream.

  224. Peter Wolff says:

    The first thing that came to my mind isn’t exactly fitting to this date, but rather to TLAPD:

    Oh me scurvy pirate great-great-grandfather, when will I be eligible for me own eye patch?

    For today:

    Goodbye friends, it has been … Oh no, the ogre on the first floor cut the power line again!


    And my zombie neighbors above PROMISED to mute their breakfast before eating it alive!

  225. willwot says:

    What the heck does bwak mean?

  226. Fabiana says:

    The crystal ball and the fire spirits don’t agree about the future. Whose guts are we going to pick?

  227. zinmud says:

    (bubble stays blank, this goes to bottom of frame)

    * he says he still hasn’t broken his vow of silence

  228. D. Blake Vesty says:

    Your domestication has made your beaks soft, while my feril nature has kept me a hard survivalist. Johnson, please flip off the lights for the slide show.

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