A Christmas Carol

December 21, 2005 · Filed Under Cartoons 

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Comments

17 Responses to “A Christmas Carol”

  1. doninstatesville on December 21st, 2005 10:27 am

    Perfect! On Christmas day I will have been amused for four days!

  2. Connor on December 21st, 2005 10:50 am

    Yay! I was wondering how long it would take before i saw at least one thing to do with “A Christmas Carol”. =P

  3. Tammy Lenski on December 21st, 2005 12:23 pm

    This is hysterical! I sent it to all my English-major friends from college days.

  4. Duane on December 21st, 2005 12:53 pm

    Must…tell…grammar….joke….

    Woman jumps into a cab at Boston’s Logan airport and tells the driver, “Take me someplace I can get scrod.”

    Driver turns around and says, “No one’s ever asked for it in the pluperfect subjunctive before.”

  5. Laurence on December 21st, 2005 3:06 pm

    The holidays make a lot of people tense.

    So, try other tenses!

    Brilliant!

  6. johnslat on December 21st, 2005 3:44 pm

    Great cartoon, as usual. However, as an English teacher, I have a nit to pick. I’m afraid it’s really not the Future Perfect Passive. It’s the Future Perfect Active (”will have been”) along with the past participle adjective (”disappointed”). This use of the past participle adjective is called the “stative passive”, but the verb itself is active voice.

  7. Mommmeeeee! on December 21st, 2005 4:39 pm

    My head hurts. Some present!

  8. Teresa on December 21st, 2005 6:58 pm

    So the ghost should moan, “The life you will have had will be disappointing”? Please don’t make the poor chicken diagram the sentence. Please, noooooooo.

    Now, I’m imagining the ghost of an English grammar teacher, showing an overhead of the 10 basic sentence patterns, grasping at dangling modifiers and gleefully splashing red ink everywhere.

  9. johnslat on December 21st, 2005 7:33 pm

    Dear Teresa,
    Well, I DID say it was nitpicking. But I can’t help myself. Actually, though, having one of the Savage Chickens try to diagram a sentence might be a worthy subject for Doug to consider. After all, sentence diagrams are mostly “chicken-scratching”, anyway.
    Regards and Merry Christmas,
    John
    P.S. By the way, although the number of basic sentence patterns in English is not firmly established, your “10″ is one of the foremost contenders.

  10. [SSJiffy] on December 21st, 2005 8:03 pm

    I don’t get it :D

  11. TeaLizzy on December 22nd, 2005 12:24 am

    1) Absolutely hilarious!
    2) Dear English Teacher: I grant your point about participles, which are widely misdiagrammed, but is this not the way that English FORMS the future perfect passive? If not, please conjugate ‘be disappointed’ into the future perfect passive for me.
    - A Classicist

  12. TeaLizzy on December 22nd, 2005 12:25 am

    It could, after all, be a periphrastic, no?

  13. johnslat on December 22nd, 2005 1:21 am

    Dear tealizzy,
    Well, a true passive construction indicates that an action is performed on the subject of the sentence, whereas a stative passive construction merely describes the state or condition of the subject. So, to change the sentence to a “true passive” all that needs to be done is to add an agent:
    “Ebenezer! You will have been disappointed by all the wrong choices you have made in your life.”
    Admittedly a bit more verbose than the original, but heck, if you want a “true passive”, you have to make sacrifices.
    Regards and Merry Christmas
    P.S. If Doug wanted to feature an even more bizarre tense, he could have used the Future Perfect Progressive Passive:
    “Ebenezer! When I come again, you will have been being disappointed for quite some time by all the wrong choices you have made in your life.”

  14. Elwood on December 22nd, 2005 6:15 am

    Wow!

    And I thought I was a grammar nut.

    You have all been being putting me to be have been shamed…

  15. Diego on December 22nd, 2005 10:36 pm

    this is a winner, doug. ranks high up there.

  16. scott on December 27th, 2005 8:10 am

    it’s f’ing perfect, whether the grammer is or not.
    I love it.
    as a newly started english teacher I find I haven’t got a clue if it is or if it is not.
    great cartoons all.
    love scott

  17. David on December 11th, 2008 9:38 am

    Oh my God, I love this.

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