The Sailor
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Summon the Kraken!
I thought it had something to do with getting him and embarrassing tattoo… Like “I [heart] crabs”…
Get him another tattoo. Perhaps “Mother” or “The Colonel”.
You can thank (or kick) me later.
(wow…some of these are vicious. Luckily I was a Marine and not a sailor!)
Put him in the longboat ’til he’s sober
Put him in the longboat and make him bail ‘er
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it
Pull out the plug and wet him all over
Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him
Heave him by the leg in a running bowline
Soak ‘im in oil ’till he sprouts flippers
Spray him with whiskey and light him on fire
Take him and shake him and try to wake him
Give ‘im a dose of salt and water
Hit ‘im on the head with a broken hammer
Tie him to the taffrail when she’s yardarm under
Keelhaul him, keelhaul him
Put him into bed with the captain’s daughter
You’ve never seen the captain’s daughter
Slap him around and call him Suzie,
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Put him in the back of the paddywagon
Put him in his bunk with his pants on backwards
Hang him from the yard-arm by his toe nails
Send him down to Davy Jones’ Locker
Put him in the recovery position?
They made us learn this song in 5th grade, but they only taught us the “child friendly” verses.
Jen –
Then I take it “Shave his belly with a rusty razor” wasn’t there 😉
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
You turn him into a dunkin’ sailor.
If he can’t swim, throw him a donut.
[…] Here’s more time travel. And another taxi. […]