Savage Chickens - The Final Round

Who will win?! Sam Elliott? Tom Selleck?

Update: And the winner is…. SAM ELLIOTT!!

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49 Responses to The Final Round

  1. steve says:

    Awesome, Tom Selleck will win. or will it be like Karate Kid 3, where the winner of the last tournement can compete in the final round, and could take the title.

    if anyone feels the need to have a moustache without the hassle of growing one :

    : )

  2. treewhisperer says:

    Lol, Sam Elliot’s moustache in a fight, probably needed a new caravan for his mom…

  3. Bananaby says:

    It would be pretty close but i think Magnum would take it out…or maybe Muppet Cousin Pepe would jump in and steal the hearts of the judges

  4. felix says:

    What, no Chuck Norris?

  5. Mike says:

    Sam Elliot FTW….but I have a horrible feeling that Chuck Norris’ moustache might carry a grudge.

    (I know Chuck sports a full beard….but are you REALLY brave enough to leave Chuck out on a technicality??)

  6. Adrian says:

    Chuck Norris’s beard wins the Ultimate Moustache Tournament!

  7. Robert Williams says:

    Of course, it will have to be Tom Selleck. No question.

  8. Elizabeth Plaid says:

    Tom Selleck of course!

  9. Jack Gough says:

    Where is chuck norris!!

  10. Lisa says:

    Tom Selleck. Absolutely.

  11. Stuart says:

    How did Hulk Hogan lose first round? I call shenanigans.

  12. Mark says:

    Sam Elliott, duh.

  13. Jay Tea says:

    Feh. Any mustache tournament that excludes John Bolton is, de facto, only going to crown the second-greatest mustache.


  14. izzy says:

    No contest, Tom Selleck has the best ‘stache

  15. Snard says:

    I assume Adolf Hitler was either eliminated in a previous round, or disqualified for being a wiener.

    And where is Wilford Brimley???

  16. Jon says:

    Magnum … How did Einstein’s lose to Selleck? For Burt Reynolds are we talking Smokey and the Bandit Mustache or some later version?

  17. Reed says:

    I’ve got to give the nod to Sam Elliot. I mean did you see Tombstone?!?! Or the Big Lebowski???, no offense to Magnum. But how did Daniel Day Lewis not make this list, his mustache in There Will Be Blood was bad$%^ enough, but Bill the Butcher!

    Keep up the great work Doug.

  18. vajepa says:

    if women are judging, it will be a tie!!

  19. Jon says:

    Where’s Chuck Norris on the list?

  20. Tim Canny says:

    It should be made clear that the winner of this competition only wins the right to compete on Iron Moustache against Wilford Brimley!

  21. George says:

    Hooray! Finally we get something of equal importance and meaning as all of those “March Madness” playoff charts!

  22. Cindy says:

    Sam Elliot of course. Awesome!

  23. Tom says:

    Sam Elliott!

  24. That’s a match I’d love to see!

    Sam Elliot FTW.

  25. adolph hitler's ghost says:

    hello, I had the best moustache

  26. Jared L. says:

    Chuck Norris doesn’t compete he judges.
    Chuck Norris doest’t use a razor to shave his wiskers he uses a round house kick. It is the only thing tough enough to trim his beard.

    BTW Sam Elliot would win but it would be close.

  27. Seraphine says:

    tom selleck.
    or hulk hogan.

  28. willwot says:

    David Crosby would lend more credence to such a contest as this than Charlie Chaplin and Adolph Hitler’s mustachios combined. But I would concede that Sam Elliot and Tom Selleck in a tag team match would make a formidable twosome.

  29. Dave D from WV says:

    Darn! Wish I’d known this was coming! We’d have started an office pool like the NCAA basketball tournament!

  30. Scott S says:

    Okay see here is the thing..These two are among the greatest film mustaches. I mean really. Nobody and I mean no body can say Sam Elliot isn’t the last great film cowboy. He speaks you listen. Period. Tom is the same way, has done his fair share of cowboy/lone dective flims as well.. but once you line them up i have to give it to Sam… Tom loses points for being on Friends.

  31. Kristin Wood says:

    Sam Elliot, hands down. Duh.

  32. Suzette says:

    Sam Elliot, but only because Groucho was eliminated in an earlier round. Darn judges.

  33. agaia says:

    Tom Seleck of course. Handsome!
    Hugs from,
    Rio de Janeiro-Brazil

  34. John says:

    Sam Elliot, all the way!

  35. Abigail says:

    Sam Elliot, hands down.

  36. Luke says:

    I want to know who won the regular-season game between Hulk Hogan and Salvidor Dali.

  37. Udge says:

    *obviously* Sam Eliot.

  38. Doug says:

    Congrats to Sam Elliott for the win! At a ceremony this morning, Sam was presented with the prestigious Golden Moustache Award by retired 7-time winner Wilford Brimley.

    @Luke – during the regular season, Hulk Hogan soundly defeated Salvador Dali.

    @Nadie – thanks for posting that pic – great to see the two legends together!

  39. Unimpressed. says:

    I think I disagree with every single result in the first round.

    Also, I believe that Dr. Loveless’ face-art (from Wild Wild West) needs some representation here.

  40. Scott S says:

    Shadow Riders was a great movie!

  41. Jody R says:

    Yeah Sam Elliot; always had a relentless appeal with that crooked smile and baritone under that killer moustache. Good go!

  42. Aud says:


  43. Dalriata says:

    whoa ho Sam, congrats from Down Under xxx
    you’re the man

  44. Mike McGregor says:

    Forget the lot of them… Freddie Mercury’s would beat up all of those moustaches, AND make chuck norris’s fall off in fear!

  45. TheFrycook says:

    how did dali not get past round one sure it’s impractical but it is one of the greatest ever

  46. M says:

    Nietzsche, what do you think about this?

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