A Better Big Mac

Got any other ideas? Put suggestions in the comments and I’ll compile them all and send them to Ronald McDonald, or whoever runs McDonald’s these days.

And here are more burgers.

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25 Responses to A Better Big Mac

  1. Peter says:

    E. A jelly donut filled with Klingon bloodwine!

  2. Sam Wilkes says:

    I firmly believe that option B (as in bacon) is a step to the rigt direction..
    But also the salad should be replaced with bacon, the top and bottom buns should be replaced with bacon and Ronald McDonald should be replaced with Kevin Bacon

  3. Mike says:

    The McHeartAttac – lots of layers of beef,bacon and cheese allinasesameseedbun and deep-fried in batter

    The BigMacAirBook – a big mac with a laptop in the middle. Filling & (kinda) productive all at the same time

  4. Jeff S. says:

    A Filet-O-Fish patty!

  5. Sam says:

    Sam Wilkes is correct on all things bacon.
    I suggest a slab of kale with the lettuce.

  6. Susan Wenger says:

    Add a spinach leaf to the Big Mac. The best part of this is, when you finish eating the Big Mac, you will still have the spinach leaf left over to add to tomorrow’s Big Mac.

  7. willwot says:

    Cardazzian cardiovasicules deep fried with spicy mustard. Manic Monday’s make for wallowing in food??? poor Tuesday pig got put into a Thursday hamburger

  8. Dev Null says:

    E) An actual hamburger patty, instead of something resembling one of those bits of semi retread left by the side of the highway.

  9. Brian says:

    Chicken patty and bacon. A trifecta of meat!

  10. Ann S. says:

    Onion Rings. Yes, I know that McD’s doesn’t have onion rings, but this would be the perfect way to introduce them!

  11. Jonathan Thornton says:

    A sausage mcgriddle. Because what your dinner needs is a breakfast in the middle.

  12. Thomas / Hannover says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to grab the burger out of the box, because it’s glued to it with the cheese. One has to get the fingers below the burger in order to lift it out of the box.
    It would be much easier if McDonalds would
    a) flatten the bun on top
    b) make it axially symmetric on half height (i.e. ketchup, mustard, cheese and so on are layered identically top to middle and bottom to middle)

    With these improvements it is possible to just flip the burger out of the box (“upside down”) without looking like a jerk not able to hold a burger the right way (top bun on top).

  13. MrBawn says:

    A Whopper Jr. (Yes, I know that’s a Burger King thing. That’s the joke.)

  14. Jackson says:

    Hungry, Doug?

  15. Michelle says:

    Chicken Mcnuggets(tm) of course! Or a Savage Chicken.

  16. Moss says:

    The only proper way to do this clearly is to interpret option D as a recursive algorithm and to apply a big number of iterations to it.

  17. Howard says:

    Susan Wenger is on the right track with spinach, but only because it temporarily makes you incredibly strong and uncontrollably violent. The rumor is that Ikemefuna Enemkpali may have been under the influence of a can of spinach when he slugged Geno Smith.

  18. Wildbird says:

    Two all beef patties,cheese,letuce,oiions,pickels,special suace on asesme seed bun

  19. ndnda says:

    A grilled cheese sandwich. (There’s a restaurant in Portland that does this. It is amazing and I’m sure heart attack-inducing.)

  20. Bassygalore says:

    The problem with the last option is that you’ve removed one piece of bread and replaced it with two.

  21. Mark says:

    Replace the white bun with whole wheat bun. Replace red meat with a nice veggie patty. Add lots of lettuce and real tomato slices. This does your health and the planet a favor.

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