It’s my annual Halloween contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win a pair of signed copies of my Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy books, and I’ll draw stuff in them too!
To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Google+ or Instagram. Or send it to me the old fashioned way via my contact form. I’ll choose three winners, to be announced on Halloween!
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152 Responses to Halloween Contest 2018
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Buy my new book!
It’s definitely missing a pinch of children
I told you training the cat to use the cauldron instead of the litter box was a bad idea.
What do we tell the guests those cat hairs are?
Brains? You do know we’re not zombies.
It’s incredible that it’s not chicken!
“This is all that’s left of the moose!”
“Go ahead and try it. It’s not anyone we know.”
I knew Henrietta was salty.
“Tastes like chicken”!
You taste it. I’m allergic to slug poop.
‘Try some Chicken soup for the ghoul?’
Looks like poo,smells like poo,tastes like poo
“Do you think Gordon Ramsay will appreciate this brain soup?”
“I’m not sure that using the cauldron where Mr. Felix died was a good idea”
“This year the italian version is very trendy so I replaced the blood with tomato”
“I find a spoonful of Jack makes it all go down much easier.”
I think it needs a little more eye of newt.
Boil, boil, toil and Trouble…hmm, way to much trouble.
This new vegan potion book is amazing. You can’t even tell I substituted eye of kale!
Miauummmmmm!!!!
Too much chicken feet in?
They say chicken soup is good for the soul.
Does this need more eye of newt?
A pinch of basil really brings out the eye of newt!
“Trust me, nothing is scarier than tofu soup!”
This reminds me of one of my scariest childhood memories. My father was on diet, my mother was unexperienced with diet cooking, so the savoy cabbage got just a hint of salt, no bacon, no fat.
(fun fact: it took me half a minute to remember “savoy”, all I could remember the moment is “something similar to savage, but not same.”)
I tried adding oregano this time.
Is there enough garlic in this?
“It didn’t melt the spoon this time.”
Quinoa?
and, it’s gluten-free!
Could use a little more oregano.
Hmmm….not enough LOVE!
“Tastes like Savage Chicken.”
To me, the best one so far. I actually laughed out loud.
Double, double toil and bugglegum?
Um … whose hand is that, anyway?
I wouldn’t think of making my potions without synthetic and genetically modified ingredients. And of course, they’re chock full of gluten.
“Here comes the broomstick! Open wide!”
“Jimmy Kimmel told me to do it.”
“I think it needs a pinch more evil.”
I say the secret ingredient is eye of newt, but really it’s just quinoa.
After the jalapeno incident last year, it’s your turn to taste it first!
Here comes the broomstick! Zoom!
This tastes awful, here you try it
Tastes like chicken.
Honestly, you’d never know this was made from Quorn instead of babies.
C’mon, try it, it’s just an eyeball!
Listen, it’s just kale and slug. Now stop complaining, and eat your supper.
Newt as in salamander, not our mailman!
“…and now is glutten 100% free of glutten.”
“It said alphabet soup on the can, but it just contains eyes.”
Finally, something we can eat!
Just like Mom used to make
We really should call it ‘Cream of Cat’ instead of Pussy’s name.
Hey, what the? This is the formula for Kibble!
Let’s see if it melts the spoon this time.
I not sure. No one’s ever asked before if it’s gluten-free.
Those Bears were right, Goldielocks does taste “just right”
Tell me if you think there’s enough eye of newt in this.
I liked mom´s soup, but I´m going to miss her a lot…
…and a drop of the blood of a virgin. Alright, this should cure your daughter.
(footnote, if I can have one:) The chickens have a more difficult time getting their hands on soup for the sick.
On second thought, here’s a better footnote:
“Chickens generally are not cannibalistic, so they have to get a little creative.”
Actually, chickens are carnivores, they don’t give second thought about what kind of meat they are eating.
Omnivores, to be precise.
My friend actually told me this rather recently. But jokes and comics don’t have to be entirely accurate, do they?
You sound like you’re catching a cold. Have some human noodle soup.
It’s equally vile and disgusting – perfect!
Mother’s Batwing Soup doesn’t taste as good with canned batwings.
Best gumbo I’ve ever had.
Does this smell strongly of ammonia to you?
‘Don’t worry about what is in it, it is for the work potluck.’
Also, it would be very nice if the original cartoon could be updated with the winning line. That way it can be easily viewed later on.
Your turn to clean the litter box
You are right. It does taste like me.
I heard “too many cooks spoil the broth”, so I only put in three…
“The blind snake is very hospitable. The cat not so much.”
It’s safe. The cat helped me to find the ingredients.
It’s done. Now we’ll have eternal life in this dying world.
What do you mean ‘I crossed the road for this?’
See, there IS more than one way to gumbo a cat!
Smell the clove
Clean the kitty cauldron? I thought the idea was to keep adding fresh litter on top?!
And this is our special Eye of Newt IPA that we’re really excited about this season.
If this doesn’t cure my left-handedness, nothing will
I call it “What I felt like when that house landed on me” curry. Try some.
It tastes like dead rat, but I’ve no idea how that happened.
No, no German kids in this one. I’ve gone Gunter-free.
“This smells terrible. Here, take a whiff”
or
“This tastes terrible, Try a bite.”
I can’t believe you picked this up at CostCo!
“I made your favorite, Monster Mash!”
I think the eye of newt might have been expired
I think this frog stew needs a little more kick.
“What the Cat Hacked Up” is made from Mama’s special recipe.
It’s a recipe from my new cookbook: “Soul Soup for the Chicken”.
“It will form a turd.”
Next time it’s your turn to clean out the litter cauldron.
“I told you we can’t cook hamburger in cauldron”
Oh, c’mon. It’s not YOUR uncle Henry’s eye.
I REALLY miss “like” buttons for the anwers here!
Ditto.
Tell me truthfully, did I add enough children?
I told you it takes brains to cook a good soup.
Sorry i can’t try this potion… it’s not gluten free
Was this you or the cat?
Laundry flavored oatmeal, it’s not magically delicious!
Applesauce! What happened to the bobbing apples?
Too much pumpkin spice?
Taste this, I can’t remember if I added the bat wings or not.
Does this look catalysing enough for you?
I got the recipe off the Boo’d Network!
“…Who do you think’s IN the potion?”
Great, huh? Oatmeal with bat wing!
It started out as avocado toast.
The Hair of Trump gives it the pumpkin spice color, but frankly the look doesn’t make up for the sticky aftertaste.
Halloween contest entry:
“My most terrifying brew ever: gluten, peanuts, sesame, shrimp, whole milk, and rag weed pollen. Oh and eye-of-newt.”
Did you mix up the salt and kitty litter again?
“Do you think Hannibal Lecter would approve?”
I boiled up some internet trolls. It’s the most toxic stuff I’ve ever invented.
It’s twitter soup. The perfect blend of vitriol, stupidity and cat photos ever made.
I got the idea for the recipe after watching ‘The Help’, but I’m reluctant to taste test it.
The FDA requires me to tell you that this will have a small-to-medium-to-probable-to-guaranteed chance of turning you into a frog.
Ah, a perfect batch of covfefe.
Does it still count as vegan, given that I added some vegans?
I think the oatmeal is ready for the Trick or Treaters
Nope! Not giving any hints on this year’s secret ingredient. Don’t worry, it should be done any minute meow…
Was the double double boils worth the trouble
For the last time, yes! The bat wings and eyes of newt are organic and locally sourced!
I have worked in this cafeteria for years, I would think they would know this is not a costume.
Being a witch is about culture! Like this culture of bacteria I’ve grown.
Do you think this kitty litter has seasoned enough?
Some of the rumors about witches, is probably due to the cauldron of beans we eat at every coven pot luck.
Potions cook up in half the time in a Black Cat (TM) InstantCauldron!
“Just taste it! How will you know you don’t like 1 dead cat, 2 bats (live), 5 rats with tails, webs (as needed), 2 spiders and a pinch of salt?!”
Those were erroneous media reports about chickens and Halloween costumes. The CDC says it’s OK!
Not sure… Maybe we should order pizza?
“I’m telling you, eye of newt is gluten free!”
It’s the Caveat Emptor Curse, comes free with every purchase of my Hello Kitty Cauldron!
The new action toy of the Season, “Hello Kitty Cauldron”!
First 100 orders get a free bag of Kitty Hairballs nips
It tastes more Hansel-ly to me.
“Oh I’m not cooking! It’s just the new cat litter”.
Damn cilantro – why do chefs insist on putting it in everything?
I bought the ingredients online. “Dark-bidding.com”
I’ve got to stop handing out stevia sweets to children. It makes the result quite sickening
Air-BnB has saved me a fortune in making gingerbread houses. Now victims come to me willingly.
mmmm….brain bouillon.
I know you said you wanted something light, but I just needed to try out our new cauldron.
Well… you just can’t trust recipe books nowadays.
Well… he did challenge me to pick his brain…
I don’t think this vegan alternative to frog is working
Trust me, it tastes just like chicken
I’ve decided to start my own Witchcraft Brewery!
Yeah, I agree – quinoa and kale are pretty creepy