Halloween Contest 2015
It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win a Savage Chickens prize pack, which includes:
- a signed copy of my new Dog Adventures book
- a signed copy of my Cat Adventures book
- a set of three Lizard Pals buttons
- a set of three Cat Adventures buttons
To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Google+. Or send it to me the old fashioned way via my contact form. I’ll be choosing three winners, to be announced on Halloween!
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“Modern Witch” says this is the year of the white dogs. Black cats are unfashionable.
The store had sold out of umbrellas so I got a dog instead that can sniff for the next rain.
I am trying to teach the dog trick or treat!
What? I’m not a cat person
Nice.
Great minds think alike! 😉
Well he’s an old dog, what did you expect?
I was trying my new spell app to summon an evil god. Ended up with a vile dog, damn autocorrect!
lol!
After the full moon it’ll turn back into a baby.
“The dog-sitting service runs well generally, but Toto here never got picked up by his owner. I wonder what happened to her.”
“Actually I’m the dog on a costume”
“He ate my black cat.”
I haven’t figured out how to turn Steve back into a chicken, but I did teach him to roll over!
LOL!
Outrageous! They wouldn’t let me have a seeing eye cat!
It turns out too much eye of a newt will make you go blind!
“It was the scariest costume my cat could come up with…”
I made this potion to ward off evil eyes, and suddenly I couldn’t see anything!
The recipe asked asked for a hair of the dog that bit me! But I can’t get it to bite!
Cats are so 2014.
Dogs are the new cats.
It’s not you, he just doesn’t like the smell of pumpkin spice.
The cat insisted on dressing up, too.
haha, that’s great!
I thought it said “Eye of newt and toe of dog”…
Hazel’s costume was a fire hydrant, but I haven’t seen her since she tried it on.
“No, there’s no typo in my dating profile, I really practice bark magic.”
Stuffing all three heads on that mask really do the trick.
(sorry for my bad english)
The Vet says I have to walk him. He nearly lynches himself when we fly.
He was dying to get to the other side..
“… and if all goes well, he’ll be trained at Dogwarts next year.”
That was my last pun, I promise.
Hahaha! “dogwarts”
It’s like this: give him a treat, or he’ll pee on your costume.
Fido is wondering what treats HE will get, sugar disagrees with him.
Witchcraft isn’t that lucrative anymore, but dog-fighting on the other hand…
“The house on the corner is giving out full-size, gluten-free dogs instead of candy this year”
He aimed his leg at Helga and … Melted her
I’m allergic to cats.
The costume store was out of cats.
They told me I could pick up chicks at the park with a dog.
Having a gingerbread house with a ‘Beware of Dog’ sign has left me starving for weeks….
The recipe on Pinterest called for eye of newt, and toe of frog, but they said I could substitute with hair of the dog.
Woof! I need the antidote, Woof!
I got him from the masons. He is an all-seeing-eye dog.
halloweenie wolf? where? werewolf weenie, hallo!
Grimalkin is on vacation.
Watch yourself, he can be a little too ‘familiar’.
He ate my broom.
I got a new iPhone. It is amazing!
“It’s not a dog, it’s a baby werewolf”
“Cats are so 17th century.”
I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, why?
That was supposed to be:
I know an oldest who swallowed a cat, why?
D@mn autocorrect 🙁
Third time’s the charm –
“I know an old lady who swallowed a cat, why?”
Meet my friend Wolfman. He’s a much nicer person than he seems to be on social media.
Can we keep him? Huh? Huh? Can we?
I even taught him how to spell…
Meet my new consort, Fluffy.
“WithcMart was out of HellHounds so I got this Slightly Evil Puppy instead.”
Isn’t this a great costume?
She loves chocolate*
I’m a ventriloquist dog.
I got Toto from a shelter.
What did you expect, a flying monkey?
*ok not funny
The potion didn’t work. I wanted a cat but I only got a petrified dog.
He ate my broomstick
It started out as a wart…
It’s the perfect costume for a black cat.
They were out of tongues, so I had to get a whole one.
On the internet, no one will know.
He guides me home when I’ve had too much potion.
He fetches my broom when I forget where I parked.
Frog? I thought you said dog!
“I know it’s unconventional, but when you spill a bottle of eye-of-newt on the floor, you try getting a cat to lick that up.”
That’s good! Hehehe!
So I had to give Harry his Nimbus 2000 back. The awkwardness! Why can’t Fido just chase cars like every other dog.
It IS my cat. He’s just going through a bad spell.
He’s my “familiar.” He’s familiar with sniffing out the good treats.
Wait, I thought *you* were bringing the eye of newt
Frogs got loose in the dog park. Let’s go!
“I’m allergic to cats.”
“Don’t be a species-ist!”
“The cat wouldn’t fetch my broom.”
“He’s for protection. I get scared this time of year.”
“My eye-doctor says I can’t fly without him.”
“He sniffs out the kids with the best treats.”
“There was a typo in my book of spells. I was trying to turn him into a frog.”
Turns out three headed dogs are hard to come by.
Which witch thinks they can get this dog to roll over for deviled eggs?
What? I told you your blind-date was a dog person?
“Snips and snails and puppy do…. damnit!”
Bath time is the WORST!
I did TRY to turn him into a newt, but he got better.
Do you think I could take ‘Cerberus’ here back for a refund?
With some matches and paper bags we can take trick or treating to the next level.
Yeah that’s great. Now can you change him back?
“He’s too old to learn to ride a broom.”
“It’s Halloween? Good timing!”
“My black cat isn’t happy with her costume this year…”
“I was going to walk alone, but I was too chicken.”
“Where’s your dog?”
“Witch way should we go?”
“Would it be cliché to cross the road?”
“He’s the Thing! I can’t stand lazy costumes.”
Meanwhile, Bob is home, happily chewing on his own slippers.
I – am – from – Sirius B. Take – me – to – your – Arf-arf-Wuff-grrrrrr.
He’s my new Familiar, “Elimnzer”.
He loves my Milk Porridge.
Isn’t he terrier-fying?
I’m walking Dracula’s dog, he’s a bloodhound.
Its my hamster… how cool is that?
“He should look ‘familiar’, he is my service dog”
“I am going to trade him for some magic beans”
“I thought we could use some pet therapy at our coven gathering”
The cat put a lot of thought into this costume!
I’d rather be a chicken witch than a chicken sandwich.
“The guy said we’d have the candy in a few hours if we’re lucky”
Dogs get better treats than chickens.
I know, but the cat kept falling off my broom.
Honestly, I like the cat-in-a-dog-costume idea best!
I got her little dog, too. Not so little any more, though.
You play any tricks and he’ll leave a ‘treat’ on your doorstep.
“He got skunked. The smell is his costume.”
“I couldn’t convince him to wear the cat costume.”
He drunk all my love potion, so I’m taking him to be fixed.
I misunderstood the recipe. The potion required some bark.
A werewolf!? Where? I should get my dog safely inside.
What? He ate the cat that ate the bat that ate the moth that ate my mother’s best sweater. Yeah, that’s the best I can do for revenge.
Aw, nuts. Forgot the rat. So …
He ate the cat that ate the rat that ate the bat that …
Oh, haha, i get it. Yeah, i made him in my ‘Lab’. That’s way better than my comment that ‘I made him in my Bitchen’
Just because he is named Pluto doesn’t mean you can call him a dwarf…
I’ve been calling him Odie ever since he got that DUI.
[explanation – as in odie=OD=overdose]
This my retriever. We’re off to kill Magica de Spell.
He was going to come as Treebeard, but he couldn’t get the bark quite right.
I’ll take care of the treats, he’ll take care of the tricks.
Oddly enough, coming as “fashion: four paws” IS a fashion faux pas.
“Luring kids with candy was just too expensive”
LOL!
Love Potion Number K-9 works really well
or
“I tried some love potion number K-9. “
1. I just like dogs better.
2. Do not judge me.
3. I really wanted a Yorkie.
4. We need to stop shopping at the same dress shop.
Yes, I did wear this last year, but he buried my skeleton costume this morning and this was my only option.
“What? I’m not cleaning a litter box.”
“The cat kept running off whenever I let her outside.”
“The cat was never as happy to see me when I got home.”
His name is “Newt”. That’s close enough right?
Yes, I understand you have a spooky ball?
“He went with a minimalist costume — he’s a sack of fur.”
I dressed him as a hot dog, but I can’t get him to pant!
Worst cat sitter ever.
What? Cats are so last century!
He turns into a golden egg-laying duck on the second Tuesday of any month starting with the letter J, very useful.
Protects the Unicorn hair I bought from Hagrid.
1. “Dorothy who?”
2. “I TOLD you my cat ate my potions homework.”
3. “Black cats are bad luck.”
He needed to go.
Nice sweater.
I got him at a discount.
I’m looking for a broomstick that’ll also take Fido
He’s the newest member of the Useless Mutants: Dog-Dog. You won’t believe where he can lick himself!
I told him if he called me his bitch one more time he’d regret it.
The invitation said BYOB. So I brought her.
They were all out of treats, so I got the trick.
Oh, a witch. THAT’S really original.
Well, to be fair, NONE of us are wearing pants.
“I couldn’t find a black cat.”
It followed me home from school can I keep it? Momma witch chicken pleeeaassee I promise to feed and walk it everyday.
Do you know any spells for poop eradication?
With all the poop I’m scooping, they should call it the Emerald Sh!tty.
This will show it to the other witch gang
He says he knows a guy that knows Zuul
“Why is everybody dressed up tonight?”
“Well, I couldn’t find the kids. Did you have any luck?”
“No, I don’t regret trading all my candy for this dog. Why do you ask?”
Turns out transforming them into a dog is the easy part…
“I said bring a bag not a garbage disposal!”
They said its a new model. Turns cat only during full moon.
“He’s good with kids!”
I’ve trained him well…no ‘treat’ for me, he leaves a ‘trick’ on their doorstep.
Cat played with my under chin all the time.
There, you have the slippers, my friends and my allegiance. Now can I leave Oz?
Dorothy abandoned him when she ran off to marry the scarecrow.
Let’s just say Deputy Shepherd won’t be giving us any more trouble about our monthly coven.
He’s good at playing ‘fetch the broom’ when I can’t remember where I’ve parked it.
“I thought black cats are just too cliché.”
I used a spell to give Lassie the power of speech. She tells me that Timmy fell in the well.
I brought the black cat as you asked and yes, I did lose my glasses. How did you know?
This is Harry, my ghost dog. I can only walk him for one hour each year, so we’re in a bit of a hurry.
I have a lot of unpaid parking tickets. Let’s just say that ‘Dog’ here, won’t be collecting any more bounty
It turns out that Dorothy is actually the one who melts when splashed with water, so I have a dog now.
Anubis followed me home from Hades. Can I keep him mom?
I did notice that rebloging Tumblr multiple times shows only last one, so here is my entries again and few extra:
“Dog? She said it is a cat in werewolf costume!”
“He heard there would be flying brooms and cats.”
“Two wrongs doesn’t make a right.”
“You can get dog go meow if it is frozen and you…”
“I thought you said howling flea bag.”
“This was cheaper”
“Last year I made him a costume, but that made kids think he was a Piñata!”
“Trick for treat!”
I met Wolf at WitchCon. I know mixed marriages are hard, but it was love at first second-sight.
He used to be Jimmy Hoffa until he tried collecting union dues.
I’m co-writing a ‘tell all’ book with Toto.
We’re gonna tell the truth about Dorothy and that real estate killing she made in Oz.
He’s a wattle-hunter.
He sniffs stranger’s butts, if that’s not familiar, I don’t know what is.
I wanted a cat to go with my costume, but there was only this dog left!
Just a tip, don’t trick or treat at the Animal Shelter.
Got a good chuckle on this one.
+1 from me on this one. I love it 🙂
He said “Take me with you, I’ll be good!” And that is not the only lie he told.
“I’m telling you, he’s a huge chick magnet”
Better than the poisons, he can warn us from the curb if a house is handing out crummy candy.
He’s just like my boss, he basically sits there and stares at me while I work
I don’t get why he starts nibbling on my legs every time I take a hot bath
The ad said sporting dogs, working dogs, and more; I asked for a spelling dog. I never expected a dogmatic grammar Nazi.
“They told me I couldn’t buy just ‘tongue of dog.’ I had to take the whole thing.”
Come on Henry! We are so close to Halloween people barely notice the only reason we are wearing costumes is because the dog keeps peeing on our clothes!
The vet said he should pass my broom in a couple days …
So… after the incident we named the dog Voldemort
I finally found the perfect spell to get my husband to spend time with me.
“Long story short, this one survived the spell.”
“I accidentally dropped a house on some girl in Kansas, so I decided to take care of her dog.”
“Can you show me the way to go home? I hear there’s no place like it.”
“…What?”
I’ve decided to try a new method of dating where Fido does all the talking. I hope this won’t be awkward for you….
He’s been like this since watching “Pet Sematary” last night.
“Witch way to the dog park?”
“Seeing the toothbrushes and celery they were giving out, I can understand why their dog wanted to go with me.”
You didn’t get the “free dog with costume purchase”?
I thought the label said “weirwolf”……turns outs it said
“weird woof”
Okay, we found a Carrie. Now if we can just find a Miranda we’re done.
He’s a German Shepherd. I found him doing the Chicken Dance at Oktoberfest.
I look for neediness in my familiars. It makes the whole ‘dark magic existential angst’ easier to deal with.
Dumbledore and Hairy Pointer, of course.
It’s Toto! …too soon?
What? I need a hilarious punchline just to walk my dog, now?
I won 4th place in the caption contest. No book. Just a “dog adventure.”
I threw my broomstick at him, but he just
ate it.
When I said, “I’ll get you my pretty, and you little dog too,” she just gave it to me.
There are legions o’weirdos hangin’round tonite, I feel safer with ‘Satan’
Don’t worry, he doesn’t cast hexes.
He’s a bit disappointed. No one is handing out dog food.
No, none of the neighbors seem to be handing out any chocolate
He just lost the Cerberus contest by two heads… Can we keep him?
Feeling hung over from too much witch’s brew last night? Try a little hair of the dog!
Actually he is uncle Bob, say hello uncle.
He’s supposed to be a cat
He ate his custume, really!!
Black cats are so old fashion…
I found him wandering around a house that looks like it fell from the sky – on some girl.
I call him Oz. He has no brain, no heart, and is afraid of cats.
He’s a guide dog. He chases off guides who try to sell me biscuits. Can they not see what my house is made of, for heaven’s sake!
This is my dog Ween. Say ‘Hello’ Ween.
They were out of brooms.
I got him from some lady who appeared on Britain’s Got Talent. She had some spare.
Nope, I don’t have a hangover any more. His mother was insane. He is the heir of the dog who bit me.
‘I thought you said “heir” of the dog’
Haha, clever!
How can we do the bitch-witch-switch if you haven’t brought yours?
This one made me blow air out of my nose.
No, he didn’t fall down a well, this IS Timmy.
“I hope you don’t mind, I brought my stepmother to trick or treat with us”
Damned thing keeps managing to escape his gingerbread kennel.
You know how ravens poop when perched on your shoulder? These don’t.
You cant teach an old dog trick or treating
He can sniff out a torch or pitchfork within a two block radius.
I forgot my poop bag, can I borrow your hat?
Did you hear the joke about witch chicken crossed the road?
“I’d love to say that he was a werewolf, but he’s only a labradoodle.”
She says: It’s a cat!
A charmed one 😉
He’s not much of a familiar, but he knows where the bodies are buried.
Owls are terrible to housebreak.
I’m allergic to what cats do to my broom!
He kept shaking off the other two heads of the Cerberus costume, so he’s going as Asta from “The Thin Man.”
Why just “hair of the dog?” It’s a pretty big cauldron……
“He slobbers, sheds fur everywhere, and needs to be walked, but he is still better than a cat”
“My husband said I treat him like a dog, so I thought I’d show him what its really like.
Now we’re off to get neutered.”
“You remember Hazel? She’s been going through a bad spell.”
“You remember Hazel? She’s going through a bit of a bad spell, so we’re on the way to the witch doctor.”
He ate my cat
Oh, black cat. I thought you said I needed a black lab.
“He’s hyperspellegenic!”
“This way I won’t have the same costume as everyone else.”
Didn’t you know? White dog is the new black cat.
I told you my husband was a dog.
“He’s a broom retriever”
Only problem is, he keeps trying to ‘fetch’ the broom in mid-air”
“I still need to teach him to not poop while flying”
“I used to have a chihuahua until the frog choked on him.”
“He’s chewed up all my brooms”
I’ve been assured he’s the best protection from chichen thieving
I found him during a Witch Trial, wee-weeing on Salem Oak
“I see that you’re not wearing a costume tonight!”
His trick is leave a treat. A dark disgusting doorstep treat.
His trick is TO leave a treat….
Note to self, dont omit words
The vet wrote me a note warning that Elmer has’A bloodsucker problem’. As I’m used to swapping S and F in my head, you can imagine how much worse I thought the problem was….
Don’t let appearances deceive you….His ‘treat’ will be the non-treaters!
is it halloween already?