Halloween Contest 2015

It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win a Savage Chickens prize pack, which includes:

  • a signed copy of my new Dog Adventures book
  • a signed copy of my Cat Adventures book
  • a set of three Lizard Pals buttons
  • a set of three Cat Adventures buttons

Halloween Prize 2015

To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Google+. Or send it to me the old fashioned way via my contact form. I’ll be choosing three winners, to be announced on Halloween!

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267 Responses to Halloween Contest 2015

  1. Rob says:

    “Modern Witch” says this is the year of the white dogs. Black cats are unfashionable.

  2. Peter says:

    The store had sold out of umbrellas so I got a dog instead that can sniff for the next rain.

  3. Peter says:

    I am trying to teach the dog trick or treat!

  4. Amanda says:

    What? I’m not a cat person

  5. Hmmm says:

    Well he’s an old dog, what did you expect?

  6. Alex Lim9 says:

    I was trying my new spell app to summon an evil god. Ended up with a vile dog, damn autocorrect!

  7. Josh says:

    After the full moon it’ll turn back into a baby.

  8. Luwano says:

    “The dog-sitting service runs well generally, but Toto here never got picked up by his owner. I wonder what happened to her.”

  9. “Actually I’m the dog on a costume”

  10. W.T. says:

    “He ate my black cat.”

  11. Christin Thatcher says:

    I haven’t figured out how to turn Steve back into a chicken, but I did teach him to roll over!

  12. Jens says:

    Outrageous! They wouldn’t let me have a seeing eye cat!

  13. Jens says:

    It turns out too much eye of a newt will make you go blind!

  14. Dion says:

    “It was the scariest costume my cat could come up with…”

  15. Jens says:

    I made this potion to ward off evil eyes, and suddenly I couldn’t see anything!

  16. Jens says:

    The recipe asked asked for a hair of the dog that bit me! But I can’t get it to bite!

  17. Fränz says:

    Cats are so 2014.

  18. Fränz says:

    Dogs are the new cats.

  19. Fränz says:

    It’s not you, he just doesn’t like the smell of pumpkin spice.

  20. Kate says:

    The cat insisted on dressing up, too.

  21. Helen Howes says:

    I thought it said “Eye of newt and toe of dog”…

  22. Ash says:

    Hazel’s costume was a fire hydrant, but I haven’t seen her since she tried it on.

  23. Luwano says:

    “No, there’s no typo in my dating profile, I really practice bark magic.”

  24. xerra torres says:

    Stuffing all three heads on that mask really do the trick.

    (sorry for my bad english)

  25. Ash says:

    The Vet says I have to walk him. He nearly lynches himself when we fly.

  26. mariusg says:

    He was dying to get to the other side..

  27. Luwano says:

    “… and if all goes well, he’ll be trained at Dogwarts next year.”

    That was my last pun, I promise.

  28. Ben Cooper says:

    It’s like this: give him a treat, or he’ll pee on your costume.

  29. Sandra Basham says:

    Fido is wondering what treats HE will get, sugar disagrees with him.

  30. Janno says:

    Witchcraft isn’t that lucrative anymore, but dog-fighting on the other hand…

  31. John D says:

    “The house on the corner is giving out full-size, gluten-free dogs instead of candy this year”

  32. Ash says:

    He aimed his leg at Helga and … Melted her

  33. Miriam Mahnic says:

    I’m allergic to cats.

  34. Miriam Mahnic says:

    The costume store was out of cats.

  35. Miriam Mahnic says:

    They told me I could pick up chicks at the park with a dog.

  36. Ash says:

    Having a gingerbread house with a ‘Beware of Dog’ sign has left me starving for weeks….

  37. Miriam Mahnic says:

    The recipe on Pinterest called for eye of newt, and toe of frog, but they said I could substitute with hair of the dog.

  38. Alex says:

    Woof! I need the antidote, Woof!

  39. Ash says:

    I got him from the masons. He is an all-seeing-eye dog.

  40. wilfried says:

    halloweenie wolf? where? werewolf weenie, hallo!

  41. Elizabeth says:

    Grimalkin is on vacation.

  42. Adam says:

    Watch yourself, he can be a little too ‘familiar’.

  43. Kristen says:

    He ate my broom.

  44. Yuval Perlov says:

    I got a new iPhone. It is amazing!

  45. Pavel says:

    “It’s not a dog, it’s a baby werewolf”

  46. Karina says:

    “Cats are so 17th century.”

  47. Beth says:

    I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, why?

  48. Dana says:

    Meet my friend Wolfman. He’s a much nicer person than he seems to be on social media.

  49. Beth says:

    Can we keep him? Huh? Huh? Can we?

  50. Beth says:

    I even taught him how to spell…

  51. Beth says:

    Meet my new consort, Fluffy.

  52. Karina says:

    “WithcMart was out of HellHounds so I got this Slightly Evil Puppy instead.”

  53. Miles Archer says:

    Isn’t this a great costume?

    She loves chocolate*

    I’m a ventriloquist dog.

    I got Toto from a shelter.

    What did you expect, a flying monkey?

    *ok not funny

  54. Alis Ontiveros says:

    The potion didn’t work. I wanted a cat but I only got a petrified dog.

  55. keith says:

    He ate my broomstick

  56. BlindOracle says:

    It started out as a wart…

  57. Tom Rottmayer says:

    It’s the perfect costume for a black cat.

  58. Peter Janes says:

    They were out of tongues, so I had to get a whole one.

  59. Peter Janes says:

    On the internet, no one will know.

  60. Dave says:

    He guides me home when I’ve had too much potion.

    He fetches my broom when I forget where I parked.

  61. Melissa says:

    Frog? I thought you said dog!

  62. Beth Cosker says:

    “I know it’s unconventional, but when you spill a bottle of eye-of-newt on the floor, you try getting a cat to lick that up.”

  63. Karin says:

    So I had to give Harry his Nimbus 2000 back. The awkwardness! Why can’t Fido just chase cars like every other dog.

  64. Batronyx says:

    It IS my cat. He’s just going through a bad spell.

  65. ML says:

    He’s my “familiar.” He’s familiar with sniffing out the good treats.

  66. nexxai says:

    Wait, I thought *you* were bringing the eye of newt

  67. Stephanie says:

    Frogs got loose in the dog park. Let’s go!

  68. Jerry Benson-Montgomery says:

    “I’m allergic to cats.”

    “Don’t be a species-ist!”

    “The cat wouldn’t fetch my broom.”

    “He’s for protection. I get scared this time of year.”

    “My eye-doctor says I can’t fly without him.”

    “He sniffs out the kids with the best treats.”

  69. KipPhoenix says:

    “There was a typo in my book of spells. I was trying to turn him into a frog.”

  70. Angela says:

    Turns out three headed dogs are hard to come by.

  71. Melissa says:

    Which witch thinks they can get this dog to roll over for deviled eggs?

  72. Jack Leblond says:

    What? I told you your blind-date was a dog person?

  73. Patrick W says:

    “Snips and snails and puppy do…. damnit!”

  74. Jack Leblond says:

    Bath time is the WORST!

  75. Lizzie May says:

    I did TRY to turn him into a newt, but he got better.

  76. Adam says:

    Do you think I could take ‘Cerberus’ here back for a refund?

  77. Joseph Whirry says:

    With some matches and paper bags we can take trick or treating to the next level.

  78. Brian says:

    Yeah that’s great. Now can you change him back?

  79. Jon R says:

    “He’s too old to learn to ride a broom.”

  80. Andrew M. says:

    “It’s Halloween? Good timing!”

  81. Mark Te Tai says:

    “My black cat isn’t happy with her costume this year…”

    “I was going to walk alone, but I was too chicken.”

    “Where’s your dog?”

    “Witch way should we go?”

    “Would it be cliché to cross the road?”

  82. Jordan says:

    “He’s the Thing! I can’t stand lazy costumes.”

  83. Allen's Brain says:

    Meanwhile, Bob is home, happily chewing on his own slippers.

  84. Allen's Brain says:

    I – am – from – Sirius B. Take – me – to – your – Arf-arf-Wuff-grrrrrr.

  85. antonio bond says:

    He’s my new Familiar, “Elimnzer”.
    He loves my Milk Porridge.

  86. Linda says:

    Isn’t he terrier-fying?

  87. Linda says:

    I’m walking Dracula’s dog, he’s a bloodhound.

  88. Panhoca says:

    Its my hamster… how cool is that?

  89. zusurf says:

    “He should look ‘familiar’, he is my service dog”

  90. z says:

    “I am going to trade him for some magic beans”

  91. z says:

    “I thought we could use some pet therapy at our coven gathering”

  92. Dan Dubbs says:

    The cat put a lot of thought into this costume!

  93. mickey says:

    I’d rather be a chicken witch than a chicken sandwich.

  94. Brian. P. says:

    “The guy said we’d have the candy in a few hours if we’re lucky”

  95. Jordan says:

    Dogs get better treats than chickens.

  96. Jackson says:

    I know, but the cat kept falling off my broom.

  97. MrBawn says:

    I got her little dog, too. Not so little any more, though.

  98. Cleo says:

    You play any tricks and he’ll leave a ‘treat’ on your doorstep.

  99. Pam says:

    “He got skunked. The smell is his costume.”

  100. Alice says:

    “I couldn’t convince him to wear the cat costume.”

  101. Ash says:

    He drunk all my love potion, so I’m taking him to be fixed.

  102. Ash says:

    I misunderstood the recipe. The potion required some bark.

  103. Robin Jadoul says:

    A werewolf!? Where? I should get my dog safely inside.

  104. Gale Langseth says:

    What? He ate the cat that ate the bat that ate the moth that ate my mother’s best sweater. Yeah, that’s the best I can do for revenge.

  105. Ash says:

    Oh, haha, i get it. Yeah, i made him in my ‘Lab’. That’s way better than my comment that ‘I made him in my Bitchen’

  106. Ash says:

    Just because he is named Pluto doesn’t mean you can call him a dwarf…

  107. Ash says:

    I’ve been calling him Odie ever since he got that DUI.

    [explanation – as in odie=OD=overdose]

  108. Ash says:

    This my retriever. We’re off to kill Magica de Spell.

  109. Joshua Barber says:

    He was going to come as Treebeard, but he couldn’t get the bark quite right.

  110. Joshua Barber says:

    I’ll take care of the treats, he’ll take care of the tricks.

  111. Joshua Barber says:

    Oddly enough, coming as “fashion: four paws” IS a fashion faux pas.

  112. Pavel says:

    “Luring kids with candy was just too expensive”

  113. Ash says:

    Love Potion Number K-9 works really well

  114. Elizabeth says:

    1. I just like dogs better.

    2. Do not judge me.

    3. I really wanted a Yorkie.

    4. We need to stop shopping at the same dress shop.

  115. Joshua Barber says:

    Yes, I did wear this last year, but he buried my skeleton costume this morning and this was my only option.

  116. James says:

    “What? I’m not cleaning a litter box.”

    “The cat kept running off whenever I let her outside.”

    “The cat was never as happy to see me when I got home.”

  117. Stacey says:

    His name is “Newt”. That’s close enough right?

  118. Joshua Barber says:

    Yes, I understand you have a spooky ball?

  119. Katrina says:

    “He went with a minimalist costume — he’s a sack of fur.”

  120. Vickie Kline says:

    I dressed him as a hot dog, but I can’t get him to pant!

  121. Steven L. says:

    Worst cat sitter ever.

  122. What Pigeon? says:

    What? Cats are so last century!

  123. What Pigeon? says:

    He turns into a golden egg-laying duck on the second Tuesday of any month starting with the letter J, very useful.

  124. What Pigeon? says:

    Protects the Unicorn hair I bought from Hagrid.

  125. Daniel says:

    1. “Dorothy who?”

    2. “I TOLD you my cat ate my potions homework.”

    3. “Black cats are bad luck.”

  126. What Pigeon? says:

    He needed to go.

  127. What Pigeon? says:

    Nice sweater.

  128. What Pigeon? says:

    I got him at a discount.

  129. Eugene Fraxby says:

    I’m looking for a broomstick that’ll also take Fido

  130. Allen's Brain says:

    He’s the newest member of the Useless Mutants: Dog-Dog. You won’t believe where he can lick himself!

  131. Rory says:

    I told him if he called me his bitch one more time he’d regret it.

  132. Allen's Brain says:

    The invitation said BYOB. So I brought her.

  133. Allen's Brain says:

    They were all out of treats, so I got the trick.

  134. Allen's Brain says:

    Oh, a witch. THAT’S really original.

  135. Allen's Brain says:

    Well, to be fair, NONE of us are wearing pants.

  136. Anne says:

    “I couldn’t find a black cat.”

  137. Willwot says:

    It followed me home from school can I keep it? Momma witch chicken pleeeaassee I promise to feed and walk it everyday.

  138. Willwot says:

    Do you know any spells for poop eradication?

  139. Laura Esca says:

    With all the poop I’m scooping, they should call it the Emerald Sh!tty.

  140. Nicolás Verdi says:

    This will show it to the other witch gang

  141. Nicolás Verdi says:

    He says he knows a guy that knows Zuul

  142. Sahab says:

    “Why is everybody dressed up tonight?”

  143. Sahab says:

    “Well, I couldn’t find the kids. Did you have any luck?”

  144. Sahab says:

    “No, I don’t regret trading all my candy for this dog. Why do you ask?”

  145. Joe says:

    Turns out transforming them into a dog is the easy part…

  146. Jim says:

    “I said bring a bag not a garbage disposal!”

  147. pera says:

    They said its a new model. Turns cat only during full moon.

  148. Melanie says:

    “He’s good with kids!”

  149. Sandra Basham says:

    I’ve trained him well…no ‘treat’ for me, he leaves a ‘trick’ on their doorstep.

  150. pera says:

    Cat played with my under chin all the time.

  151. A Garrett says:

    There, you have the slippers, my friends and my allegiance. Now can I leave Oz?

  152. Dana says:

    Dorothy abandoned him when she ran off to marry the scarecrow.

  153. Dana says:

    Let’s just say Deputy Shepherd won’t be giving us any more trouble about our monthly coven.

  154. Dana says:

    He’s good at playing ‘fetch the broom’ when I can’t remember where I’ve parked it.

  155. Mia says:

    “I thought black cats are just too cliché.”

  156. Dana says:

    I used a spell to give Lassie the power of speech. She tells me that Timmy fell in the well.

  157. Dana says:

    I brought the black cat as you asked and yes, I did lose my glasses. How did you know?

  158. Dana says:

    This is Harry, my ghost dog. I can only walk him for one hour each year, so we’re in a bit of a hurry.

  159. Dana says:

    I have a lot of unpaid parking tickets. Let’s just say that ‘Dog’ here, won’t be collecting any more bounty

  160. Dana says:

    It turns out that Dorothy is actually the one who melts when splashed with water, so I have a dog now.

  161. Dana says:

    Anubis followed me home from Hades. Can I keep him mom?

  162. E.O. says:

    I did notice that rebloging Tumblr multiple times shows only last one, so here is my entries again and few extra:

    “Dog? She said it is a cat in werewolf costume!”

    “He heard there would be flying brooms and cats.”

    “Two wrongs doesn’t make a right.”

    “You can get dog go meow if it is frozen and you…”

    “I thought you said howling flea bag.”

    “This was cheaper”

    “Last year I made him a costume, but that made kids think he was a Piñata!”

    “Trick for treat!”

  163. Dana says:

    I met Wolf at WitchCon. I know mixed marriages are hard, but it was love at first second-sight.

  164. Dana says:

    He used to be Jimmy Hoffa until he tried collecting union dues.

  165. Dana says:

    I’m co-writing a ‘tell all’ book with Toto.
    We’re gonna tell the truth about Dorothy and that real estate killing she made in Oz.

  166. pera says:

    He’s a wattle-hunter.

  167. James Reddin says:

    He sniffs stranger’s butts, if that’s not familiar, I don’t know what is.

  168. Noor-ul-ain says:

    I wanted a cat to go with my costume, but there was only this dog left!

  169. Tim Canny says:

    Just a tip, don’t trick or treat at the Animal Shelter.

  170. Joseph Whirry says:

    He said “Take me with you, I’ll be good!” And that is not the only lie he told.

  171. Daniela R says:

    “I’m telling you, he’s a huge chick magnet”

  172. Joseph Whirry says:

    Better than the poisons, he can warn us from the curb if a house is handing out crummy candy.

  173. Daniela R says:

    He’s just like my boss, he basically sits there and stares at me while I work

  174. Daniela R says:

    I don’t get why he starts nibbling on my legs every time I take a hot bath

  175. Joseph Whirry says:

    The ad said sporting dogs, working dogs, and more; I asked for a spelling dog. I never expected a dogmatic grammar Nazi.

  176. Tom says:

    “They told me I couldn’t buy just ‘tongue of dog.’ I had to take the whole thing.”

  177. Daniela R says:

    Come on Henry! We are so close to Halloween people barely notice the only reason we are wearing costumes is because the dog keeps peeing on our clothes!

  178. Doug Troy says:

    The vet said he should pass my broom in a couple days …

  179. Daniela R says:

    So… after the incident we named the dog Voldemort

  180. Geoffrey Burger says:

    I finally found the perfect spell to get my husband to spend time with me.

  181. Matt says:

    “Long story short, this one survived the spell.”

    “I accidentally dropped a house on some girl in Kansas, so I decided to take care of her dog.”

    “Can you show me the way to go home? I hear there’s no place like it.”


  182. Clark W. says:

    I’ve decided to try a new method of dating where Fido does all the talking. I hope this won’t be awkward for you….

  183. Cleo says:

    He’s been like this since watching “Pet Sematary” last night.

  184. John D. says:

    “Witch way to the dog park?”

  185. Seileigh says:

    “Seeing the toothbrushes and celery they were giving out, I can understand why their dog wanted to go with me.”

  186. John D. says:

    You didn’t get the “free dog with costume purchase”?

  187. I thought the label said “weirwolf”……turns outs it said
    “weird woof”

  188. RomanH. says:

    Okay, we found a Carrie. Now if we can just find a Miranda we’re done.

  189. Linda says:

    He’s a German Shepherd. I found him doing the Chicken Dance at Oktoberfest.

  190. Isabel says:

    I look for neediness in my familiars. It makes the whole ‘dark magic existential angst’ easier to deal with.

  191. Allen's Brain says:

    Dumbledore and Hairy Pointer, of course.

  192. JR Ocenasek says:

    It’s Toto! …too soon?

  193. Allen's Brain says:

    What? I need a hilarious punchline just to walk my dog, now?

  194. Allen's Brain says:

    I won 4th place in the caption contest. No book. Just a “dog adventure.”

  195. Michael says:

    I threw my broomstick at him, but he just
    ate it.

  196. Susan S. says:

    When I said, “I’ll get you my pretty, and you little dog too,” she just gave it to me.

  197. Spender says:

    There are legions o’weirdos hangin’round tonite, I feel safer with ‘Satan’

  198. Aidan Sullivan says:

    Don’t worry, he doesn’t cast hexes.

  199. Cleo says:

    He’s a bit disappointed. No one is handing out dog food.

  200. Matt says:

    No, none of the neighbors seem to be handing out any chocolate

  201. Angie Neria says:

    He just lost the Cerberus contest by two heads… Can we keep him?

  202. Twelvefield says:

    Feeling hung over from too much witch’s brew last night? Try a little hair of the dog!

  203. Cesar Calleros says:

    Actually he is uncle Bob, say hello uncle.

  204. Cesar Calleros says:

    He’s supposed to be a cat
    He ate his custume, really!!

  205. Cesar Calleros says:

    Black cats are so old fashion…

  206. Amb says:

    I found him wandering around a house that looks like it fell from the sky – on some girl.

  207. Amb says:

    I call him Oz. He has no brain, no heart, and is afraid of cats.

  208. Amb says:

    He’s a guide dog. He chases off guides who try to sell me biscuits. Can they not see what my house is made of, for heaven’s sake!

  209. Amb says:

    This is my dog Ween. Say ‘Hello’ Ween.

  210. Volo says:

    They were out of brooms.

  211. Amb says:

    I got him from some lady who appeared on Britain’s Got Talent. She had some spare.

  212. Amb says:

    Nope, I don’t have a hangover any more. His mother was insane. He is the heir of the dog who bit me.

  213. Amb says:

    How can we do the bitch-witch-switch if you haven’t brought yours?

  214. Andrew says:

    No, he didn’t fall down a well, this IS Timmy.

  215. Volo says:

    “I hope you don’t mind, I brought my stepmother to trick or treat with us”

  216. Amb says:

    Damned thing keeps managing to escape his gingerbread kennel.

  217. Gonzo says:

    You know how ravens poop when perched on your shoulder? These don’t.

  218. Amb says:

    You cant teach an old dog trick or treating

  219. Jordan says:

    He can sniff out a torch or pitchfork within a two block radius.

  220. Kent Vaughan says:

    I forgot my poop bag, can I borrow your hat?

  221. Xenia Najacht says:

    Did you hear the joke about witch chicken crossed the road?

  222. “I’d love to say that he was a werewolf, but he’s only a labradoodle.”

  223. Inne says:

    She says: It’s a cat!

    A charmed one 😉

  224. David Windhorst says:

    He’s not much of a familiar, but he knows where the bodies are buried.

  225. Tyne says:

    Owls are terrible to housebreak.

  226. Eddrick says:

    I’m allergic to what cats do to my broom!

  227. ChipG says:

    He kept shaking off the other two heads of the Cerberus costume, so he’s going as Asta from “The Thin Man.”

  228. Ron says:

    Why just “hair of the dog?” It’s a pretty big cauldron……

  229. z says:

    “He slobbers, sheds fur everywhere, and needs to be walked, but he is still better than a cat”

  230. Jim Strolin says:

    “My husband said I treat him like a dog, so I thought I’d show him what its really like.
    Now we’re off to get neutered.”

  231. Jo B. says:

    “You remember Hazel? She’s been going through a bad spell.”

  232. Jo B. says:

    “You remember Hazel? She’s going through a bit of a bad spell, so we’re on the way to the witch doctor.”

  233. Tanya says:

    He ate my cat

  234. Tanya says:

    Oh, black cat. I thought you said I needed a black lab.

  235. Nicole says:

    “He’s hyperspellegenic!”

    “This way I won’t have the same costume as everyone else.”

  236. Glenn says:

    Didn’t you know? White dog is the new black cat.

  237. Ed Lee says:

    I told you my husband was a dog.

  238. Zin says:

    “He’s a broom retriever”

  239. Zin says:

    Only problem is, he keeps trying to ‘fetch’ the broom in mid-air”

  240. Zin says:

    “I still need to teach him to not poop while flying”

  241. Zin says:

    “I used to have a chihuahua until the frog choked on him.”

  242. Zin says:

    “He’s chewed up all my brooms”

  243. Zin says:

    I’ve been assured he’s the best protection from chichen thieving

  244. Zin says:

    I found him during a Witch Trial, wee-weeing on Salem Oak

  245. David Kolenda says:

    “I see that you’re not wearing a costume tonight!”

  246. Ash says:

    His trick is leave a treat. A dark disgusting doorstep treat.

  247. Ash says:

    The vet wrote me a note warning that Elmer has’A bloodsucker problem’. As I’m used to swapping S and F in my head, you can imagine how much worse I thought the problem was….

  248. Sandra Basham says:

    Don’t let appearances deceive you….His ‘treat’ will be the non-treaters!

  249. y_oo says:

    is it halloween already?

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