Halloween Contest 2020

It’s my annual Halloween contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win a complete set of my three Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy books! And I’ll sign and doodle in every copy!

Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy books

To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram. Or send it to me via my contact form. I’ll choose three winners, to be announced on Halloween!

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166 Responses to Halloween Contest 2020

  1. chalkycliffs says:

    Try not to burn the carpet this time…

    The blood-ink pentagram is already hard enough to remove with carpet shampoo.

  2. Ronald Snijder says:

    Oh, OK. I thought I said “Zoom”, but they thought it was “Zool”.

  3. Vili says:

    You call *this* hell? You should have seen the place I worked at when alive!

  4. Jason A says:

    Oh hey, demon intern, can you get me a skim latte and a Danish? No, the pastry, not a … nevermind, just get me donut.

  5. Ronald Snijder says:

    And here I am, stuck with the intern from hell

  6. David says:

    “Space heaters aren’t allowed, so…”

  7. Lorelei says:

    So you’re saying I owe $6.66 for the office coffee fund?

  8. r.orrison says:

    My computer is running slow. Can *you* fix it?

  9. Damien Collins says:

    I think you’re lost. This is the 7th circle of hell.

  10. Diane says:

    How went your leadership seminar? Seems like it changed you… a lot…

  11. Uli Weber says:

    Put on your mask or go to hell!

  12. Kate says:

    Sorry mate you aren’t going to find any souls left in this company

  13. David Powell says:

    This was supposed to be a Zoom meeting!

  14. Carrie says:

    “Sorry, but I already sold my soul to this company for health insurance and a 401k.”

  15. Jenos Idanian says:

    Stupid autocorrect…

  16. Jenos Idanian says:

    Stupid autocorrect!

  17. Drewe says:

    Congratulations on the promotion! I’m glad you replaced the last guy, he was the worst.

  18. Burkhard says:

    If you think you escaped from hell I have to disappoint you.

  19. A.Westcar says:

    Do you have the 2m rule in Hell?

  20. Beth says:

    I should’ve known to pass on the “Twister – 2020 Commemorative Edition.”

  21. Wildhuhn says:

    Margin of error ist just a fancy way of saying “the devil is in the details”.

  22. SamJuan says:

    [One year ago] Can you come back next halloween? My success predictor program is saying that 2020 is going to be my best year ever.

  23. Art Dahm says:

    Wear a $#@& mask!

  24. SamJuan says:

    I thought it was hell working from home, but now that I’m back in the office…

  25. Dave H says:

    Funny you should ask! You know that song that goes, “I owe my soul to the company store”?

  26. Jen says:

    Damn! You’re not on my 2020 Bingo Card.

  27. Nick says:

    Great. Now middle management is here.

  28. Stuart Ciske says:

    Hey buddy, back off. 6 ft, wear a mask, wash your hands. How about a bit of sympathy for the chicken returning from sick leave.

  29. G says:

    Hi! Are you the new human resources manager?

  30. GeekLady says:

    Have you seen my phone?

  31. Scott Morris says:

    I need to stop using this ouija board mousepad.

  32. Tony says:

    Sorry, I was trying to leave you a voicemail

  33. Kestrel says:

    …and he said, “It’d take a miracle to make the data show a profit this quarter.”


    “Hey Dad, I summoned you to tell you that you are going to be a grandpa!”

  35. Justin James says:

    Yeah. So when I summoned you last year and said that I wanted life to be more interesting … I take it back.

  36. Petar Bajic says:

    So I want you to fix this bug for me. What is your Upwork price again?

  37. Jeff says:

    Sure, I’ll come. It can’t be any worse than this office.

  38. William Hungerford says:

    Alexa, I said “play Santana”, not “petition Satan”!

  39. Sarah Cooper says:

    I guess I need to adjust the settings on the Roomba.

  40. Tyler Ross says:

    Well, Santa, we’ve ALL undergone some big changes in 2020. The kids will understand.

  41. Tyler Ross says:

    I’ve looked everywhere online and I can’t find a MAGA hat with pre-cut horn holes.

  42. Jim B says:

    maybe next time I’ll call Support instead of summoning them.

  43. Rubén says:

    “Don’t take this the wrong way, but compared to my last one, this is a hell of a job.”

  44. Tyler Ross says:

    You’re name is trending very well right now, but we anticipate a steep drop-off on November 4th.

  45. MrChicken says:

    “Phew. At first I was afraid you were my boss…”


    “Wherever you’re gonna take me, it’s better than another hour working on this spreadsheet.”

  46. Nate says:

    Actually, I just summoned you so I’d have a friend.

  47. Alyssa M. says:

    Please take me with you. I can’t work in this hell anymore.

  48. Gale Vester says:

    You ended up in the wrong spot. The Penta_gon_ is where you should be.

  49. RAMPAGE says:

    Wow you are a lot nicer than the last Tech Support guy they sent me

  50. DesertHawk says:

    Yes I have registered to vote.

  51. Peter says:

    Susan stole my stapler. Could you please take her back down with you?

  52. Pamela Dunlap says:

    You’re late! You were scheduled before the murder hornets.

  53. Sam says:

    “Nice Costume, Covid, but you need more flames”.

  54. Tyler Ross says:

    Welcome to orientation. You’ll be working in our robocall department.

  55. James Alan says:

    The spell was supposed to give me a job that felt less like eternal torment… who knew?

  56. Matthew Garcia says:

    “If you had shown up about ten months ago, this might have been a difficult decision.”

  57. SugarLow says:

    All I am saying, is that very time you visit, all I hear from Peggy next-door is “What is that smell?” ..for weeks! WE ALL CAN SMELL IT PEGGY! YES, IT IS SULFUR! HE IS A CLIENT! YOU DO NOT HEAR ME COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR NASTY TUNA SANDWICHES, DO YOU?! ..but yes, your portfolio is doing so great!

  58. Tim Magnuson says:

    The steps to get IT support are getting ridiculous.

  59. Tyler Ross says:

    You can’t file an HR complaint every time Accounting says, “We’ll pay hell for this”.

  60. Luis says:

    “Please, let me in! It’s better down there!”

  61. Dale D says:

    Have you tried ctrl-alt-del as I suggested LAST TIME?!?


    For the last time, I do NOT have a car warranty expiring!

  62. Patrick W says:

    “Hey guys, look! Demon summoning is now in the latest videoconference update.”

  63. Jim Wampler says:

    “So you’re booked until Nov. 3rd and then you’re free? Okay, I’ll pencil you in.”

  64. Alicia San Nicolas says:

    I’m surprised you didn’t know this level of hell existed.

  65. Ronna Finkleman says:

    What can I do for you?

  66. James Riendeau says:

    “I need help with this spreadsheet.”

  67. The latest polls suggest that positioning you as the “Lesser Evil” will pay off on Election Day!

  68. William Olmstadt says:

    “I need you to clean out your desk and leave by the end of December.”

  69. “If you’re here, my manager must have got that promotion!”

  70. “I hope you like data entry.”

  71. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

  72. “Six feet apart, please. And where’s your mask?”

  73. “I guess it’s time to update my pop-up blocker!”

  74. “Mondays, am I right?”

  75. Maisie Summers says:

    Hey Jerry. The printer’s broken again.

  76. Amb says:

    Can I change my vote?

  77. Ruth says:

    Well, I guess this proves I’m not cut out to be a coder!

  78. Amb says:

    Yay, I’m no longer isolated

  79. Amb says:

    Interesting that you appeared when I said Covfefe three times.

  80. Amb says:

    I’d like to ask you about homeopathic remedies. I’ve heard you are an expert.

  81. Amb says:

    I’ve always wanted to ask, wouldn’t a Hex-agon make more sense for summoning?

  82. Josh Neal says:

    Wow, something is up with this Microsoft Office paper clip assistant guy!

  83. Josh Neal says:

    I’ve tried asking everyone else…can YOU help me figure out conditional formatting in Excel?

  84. Josh Neal says:

    Sorry, Belphegor the Black…no soul here. I sold mine years ago to get this crappy job.

  85. Jeff Riley says:

    wow… the IT department finally sent someone ?

  86. Raf says:

    “You’re probably the only one to get a raise this year…”

  87. Amb says:

    You are the second one I’ve had to summon. The first got sucked into my Roomba by mistake.

  88. Amb says:

    Huh. You are bald. I don’t know why, but I was expecting you to have orange hair.

  89. Flavio says:

    I’m not sure I like the new Clippy skin

  90. William says:

    No, I am not interested in an extended warranty on my vehicle

  91. Amb says:

    “Woodstock Curse”? What in tarnation does that m'”|||”’|||””’|”|||!!

  92. Lisa says:

    And just where in the Hell have you been?

  93. Tanya says:

    Where were you yesterday when the finance report was due?

  94. Stacey Verner says:

    Aw, c’mon Stan, I told you not to bother me at work.

  95. Sam says:

    “so tell me, why do you want to work in marketing?”

  96. MarkH says:

    My 1:1 with HR isn’t until tomorrow

  97. Chris in Bullhead says:

    Sorry, my soul is quarantined. Come back in two weeks.

  98. mathew says:

    “I already know about the wages of sin, tell me about the medical insurance and 401(k).”

  99. garrett says:

    … and then Bob said “How much worse could it get here?” and I thought, well, why not just ask the experts?

  100. Amb says:

    My Soul? Sorry, it’s already been possessed by social media

  101. Jens K. Boldsen says:

    I know this is unconventional, but all other lines to tech support were busy

  102. Steve says:

    “Sorry, but this company already owns my immortal soul. Do you take Visa?”

  103. Roberto says:

    “that graph was definitely not about my day trend”

  104. Spud says:

    As you can see, my experience here is highly relevant, and I would be excited to take the next step in my career by joining your organisation! I could start any time.

  105. Spud says:

    I’m sorry, this place already sucked out my soul. Would you accept a slightly used gall bladder?

  106. Spud says:

    I don’t know, I quite like the hot lunches since our merger.

  107. Darlene says:

    I’ve got to be more careful rolling around the office…

  108. Brian Mulawka says:

    Oh hello 2020.

  109. Colin Mead says:

    This first week has been great! It turns out my last job actually was worse than hell.

  110. Tiffany DiBenedetto says:

    Oh. You must be the new guy from HR…Damon, right? Just try to keep a low profile and everything will go ‘smoothly’.

  111. Carlos Juarez says:

    “Sorry to call you for something like this, but at this point I’m really desperate to finish this spreadsheet, and no one on IT is answering”.

  112. chemgal says:

    You’re a little early; I was just finishing off the presentation for the merger.

  113. So not just a weird coffee stain! Well as long a you’re here, just watch my back for a couple of hours. Your crackling flames are relaxing and I could use a nap.

  114. Julio Romano says:

    “It was online meeting, Joe…”

  115. Ivan Andrus says:

    “Do you have any job openings? I have 27 years of related experience.”

  116. Matt says:

    You forgot the hot sauce!

  117. Ilse says:

    IRS must be truly desperate…

  118. Elizabeth Wright says:

    Wow! This is less scary than my normal day at work!

  119. David I Goodman says:

    “We forgot to hook up the doll…”

  120. Melissa Fry says:

    -Great…another mid level manager


    -Is it Bring Your Kid To Work Day again?


    -Still not smoking huh?

  121. AlfredT says:

    Sorry Clippy, I didn’t mean “burn in hell _eternally_”.


    I want your dark spreadsheet magic to fix my climate prediction formula. (Whatever data I feed it, the temperate just keeps rising at the end.)

    • David says:

      I like where Alfred’s ideas are leading. Perhaps, “Want to hear something *really* scary? Climate change models predict Hell freezing over.”

  122. Matt says:

    “Well, you’re not who I was expecting, but this is 2020”

  123. Matt says:

    “I know, I know. The service here is terrible and you want to see my manager.”

  124. Karen says:

    No, you’re looking for Astaroth. His cubicle is the third one on the right.

  125. Ric says:

    No, no, no. I don’t want anything in return. I just want you to take my soul now.

  126. Ric says:

    Oh, sorry. I was trying to contact Cthulhu.

  127. Ric says:

    Why are you being let go? Because we no longer need your help to end the world.

  128. Ric says:

    Aren’t you a little late for the End of the World?

  129. Ric says:

    Well, I’m very busy 25 years from now. How does this Tuesday for collection sound?

  130. Ric says:

    Wait, they sent you here as punishment?

  131. Alex says:

    I ‘m done trying to flatten the curve. Let’s face it, people are idiots. Maybe you can start that “Apocalypse” event ahead of schedule and speed things up…?

  132. Burkhard says:

    So, you’re from Microsoft Support? And you got signals from my computer that it has a virus?

  133. Barry says:

    New boss, same as the old boss.

  134. Cleo says:

    So does this office have any other temperature settings besides “eternal hell fires”?

  135. Tarcisius says:

    I knew I should’ve read the Terms & Conditions.

  136. Composer99 says:

    Can you tell me how to get a job in marketing?

  137. MrNick says:

    “So that’s what that spreadsheet formula does!”

  138. Todd Douglas says:

    What do you mean my PowerPoint isn’t ready yet?

  139. Ric says:

    Mate, if you think this is going to scare me you clearly haven’t been keeping up with the news.

  140. Tine says:

    Can you get Nick for me? Said he’d be damned if he fixes my laptop once more!

  141. Jonas Wellingham says:

    “Do you have something more work-appropriate to enshroud your being with? That flaming aura of doom goes against our company dress code”

  142. I don’t care what it costs! I want to work from home….

  143. Gary Phillips says:

    Alexa close Zuul, open Zoom.

  144. David says:

    Drag me to Hell. It’ll be better there.

  145. Katie Curry says:

    You’ve got the wrong cubicle. Brenda is 3 cubes down.

  146. Katie Curry says:

    Sorry, but you’re not even in the top 10 of surprising things to happen in 2020.

  147. Tyler Ross says:

    I’m really sorry, but your employment at Savage Snow Cones is just not working out.

  148. Tyler Ross says:

    We’ve gotten way too many complaints from Uber Eats customers that they’re receiving barbequed food when they didn’t order it.

  149. Cleo says:

    Sorry dude, last time I saw Ted’s retirement card was on Cerberus’ desk.

  150. Steve Stetler says:

    HR said you’re not evil enough, we’re going to have to let you go

  151. Steve Stetler says:

    What do you mean my soul isn’t compatible with Windows 10?

  152. Crow says:

    Sorry Dude. You must have gotten off on the wrong floor. Hell is a few floors up from here…

  153. Sam Bartlow says:

    This is why I warned you about going to Arizona

  154. Sam Bartlow says:

    I told you your home is colder than Arizona

  155. Mary Downs says:

    I thought I got the Insta app not the penta. Dang it!

  156. Roland says:

    – I’m not too sure about these latest Siri upgrades
    – Nice costume, Dave, but as the office safety officer I have to report this
    – No these aren’t common covid symptoms, but you still might want to contact your doctor

  157. Mike says:

    My boss thinks you are a flamer.

  158. Mary Downs says:

    My password was so complicated it summoned the devil.

  159. […] to everybody who entered this year’s Halloween contest! There were hundreds and hundreds of entries this year, and many of them covered similar themes: […]

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