It’s my annual Halloween contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win a complete set of my three Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy books! And I’ll sign and doodle in every copy!
To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram. Or send it to me via my contact form. I’ll choose three winners, to be announced on Halloween!
You Might Also Like:
If you liked this, please share it!
166 Responses to Halloween Contest 2020
Leave a Reply to Ric Cancel reply
Buy my new book!
Try not to burn the carpet this time…
The blood-ink pentagram is already hard enough to remove with carpet shampoo.
Oh, OK. I thought I said “Zoom”, but they thought it was “Zool”.
You call *this* hell? You should have seen the place I worked at when alive!
Oh hey, demon intern, can you get me a skim latte and a Danish? No, the pastry, not a … nevermind, just get me donut.
And here I am, stuck with the intern from hell
“Space heaters aren’t allowed, so…”
So you’re saying I owe $6.66 for the office coffee fund?
My computer is running slow. Can *you* fix it?
I think you’re lost. This is the 7th circle of hell.
How went your leadership seminar? Seems like it changed you… a lot…
Put on your mask or go to hell!
Sorry mate you aren’t going to find any souls left in this company
This was supposed to be a Zoom meeting!
“Sorry, but I already sold my soul to this company for health insurance and a 401k.”
Stupid autocorrect…
Stupid autocorrect!
Congratulations on the promotion! I’m glad you replaced the last guy, he was the worst.
If you think you escaped from hell I have to disappoint you.
Do you have the 2m rule in Hell?
I should’ve known to pass on the “Twister – 2020 Commemorative Edition.”
Margin of error ist just a fancy way of saying “the devil is in the details”.
[One year ago] Can you come back next halloween? My success predictor program is saying that 2020 is going to be my best year ever.
Wear a $#@& mask!
I thought it was hell working from home, but now that I’m back in the office…
Funny you should ask! You know that song that goes, “I owe my soul to the company store”?
Damn! You’re not on my 2020 Bingo Card.
Great. Now middle management is here.
Hey buddy, back off. 6 ft, wear a mask, wash your hands. How about a bit of sympathy for the chicken returning from sick leave.
Hi! Are you the new human resources manager?
Have you seen my phone?
I need to stop using this ouija board mousepad.
Sorry, I was trying to leave you a voicemail
…and he said, “It’d take a miracle to make the data show a profit this quarter.”
“Hey Dad, I summoned you to tell you that you are going to be a grandpa!”
Yeah. So when I summoned you last year and said that I wanted life to be more interesting … I take it back.
So I want you to fix this bug for me. What is your Upwork price again?
Sure, I’ll come. It can’t be any worse than this office.
Alexa, I said “play Santana”, not “petition Satan”!
I guess I need to adjust the settings on the Roomba.
Well, Santa, we’ve ALL undergone some big changes in 2020. The kids will understand.
I’ve looked everywhere online and I can’t find a MAGA hat with pre-cut horn holes.
maybe next time I’ll call Support instead of summoning them.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but compared to my last one, this is a hell of a job.”
You’re name is trending very well right now, but we anticipate a steep drop-off on November 4th.
?
?
Your comment system does not allow unicode, I see.
That should be the :mute: emoji.
“Phew. At first I was afraid you were my boss…”
or:
“Wherever you’re gonna take me, it’s better than another hour working on this spreadsheet.”
Actually, I just summoned you so I’d have a friend.
Please take me with you. I can’t work in this hell anymore.
You ended up in the wrong spot. The Penta_gon_ is where you should be.
Wow you are a lot nicer than the last Tech Support guy they sent me
Yes I have registered to vote.
Susan stole my stapler. Could you please take her back down with you?
You’re late! You were scheduled before the murder hornets.
“Nice Costume, Covid, but you need more flames”.
Welcome to orientation. You’ll be working in our robocall department.
The spell was supposed to give me a job that felt less like eternal torment… who knew?
“If you had shown up about ten months ago, this might have been a difficult decision.”
All I am saying, is that very time you visit, all I hear from Peggy next-door is “What is that smell?” ..for weeks! WE ALL CAN SMELL IT PEGGY! YES, IT IS SULFUR! HE IS A CLIENT! YOU DO NOT HEAR ME COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR NASTY TUNA SANDWICHES, DO YOU?! ..but yes, your portfolio is doing so great!
The steps to get IT support are getting ridiculous.
You can’t file an HR complaint every time Accounting says, “We’ll pay hell for this”.
“Please, let me in! It’s better down there!”
Have you tried ctrl-alt-del as I suggested LAST TIME?!?
or
For the last time, I do NOT have a car warranty expiring!
“Hey guys, look! Demon summoning is now in the latest videoconference update.”
“So you’re booked until Nov. 3rd and then you’re free? Okay, I’ll pencil you in.”
I’m surprised you didn’t know this level of hell existed.
What can I do for you?
“I need help with this spreadsheet.”
The latest polls suggest that positioning you as the “Lesser Evil” will pay off on Election Day!
“I need you to clean out your desk and leave by the end of December.”
“If you’re here, my manager must have got that promotion!”
“I hope you like data entry.”
This one cracked me up 🙂
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
“Six feet apart, please. And where’s your mask?”
“I guess it’s time to update my pop-up blocker!”
“Mondays, am I right?”
Hey Jerry. The printer’s broken again.
Can I change my vote?
Well, I guess this proves I’m not cut out to be a coder!
Yay, I’m no longer isolated
Interesting that you appeared when I said Covfefe three times.
I’d like to ask you about homeopathic remedies. I’ve heard you are an expert.
I’ve always wanted to ask, wouldn’t a Hex-agon make more sense for summoning?
Wow, something is up with this Microsoft Office paper clip assistant guy!
I’ve tried asking everyone else…can YOU help me figure out conditional formatting in Excel?
Sorry, Belphegor the Black…no soul here. I sold mine years ago to get this crappy job.
wow… the IT department finally sent someone ?
“You’re probably the only one to get a raise this year…”
You are the second one I’ve had to summon. The first got sucked into my Roomba by mistake.
Huh. You are bald. I don’t know why, but I was expecting you to have orange hair.
I’m not sure I like the new Clippy skin
No, I am not interested in an extended warranty on my vehicle
“Woodstock Curse”? What in tarnation does that m'”|||”’|||””’|”|||!!
And just where in the Hell have you been?
Where were you yesterday when the finance report was due?
Aw, c’mon Stan, I told you not to bother me at work.
“so tell me, why do you want to work in marketing?”
My 1:1 with HR isn’t until tomorrow
Sorry, my soul is quarantined. Come back in two weeks.
“I already know about the wages of sin, tell me about the medical insurance and 401(k).”
… and then Bob said “How much worse could it get here?” and I thought, well, why not just ask the experts?
Haha! This is epic!
My Soul? Sorry, it’s already been possessed by social media
I know this is unconventional, but all other lines to tech support were busy
“Sorry, but this company already owns my immortal soul. Do you take Visa?”
“that graph was definitely not about my day trend”
As you can see, my experience here is highly relevant, and I would be excited to take the next step in my career by joining your organisation! I could start any time.
I’m sorry, this place already sucked out my soul. Would you accept a slightly used gall bladder?
I don’t know, I quite like the hot lunches since our merger.
I’ve got to be more careful rolling around the office…
Oh hello 2020.
This first week has been great! It turns out my last job actually was worse than hell.
Oh. You must be the new guy from HR…Damon, right? Just try to keep a low profile and everything will go ‘smoothly’.
“Sorry to call you for something like this, but at this point I’m really desperate to finish this spreadsheet, and no one on IT is answering”.
You’re a little early; I was just finishing off the presentation for the merger.
LOL
So not just a weird coffee stain! Well as long a you’re here, just watch my back for a couple of hours. Your crackling flames are relaxing and I could use a nap.
“It was online meeting, Joe…”
“Do you have any job openings? I have 27 years of related experience.”
You forgot the hot sauce!
IRS must be truly desperate…
Wow! This is less scary than my normal day at work!
“We forgot to hook up the doll…”
-Great…another mid level manager
Or
-Is it Bring Your Kid To Work Day again?
Or
-Still not smoking huh?
Sorry Clippy, I didn’t mean “burn in hell _eternally_”.
OR
I want your dark spreadsheet magic to fix my climate prediction formula. (Whatever data I feed it, the temperate just keeps rising at the end.)
I like where Alfred’s ideas are leading. Perhaps, “Want to hear something *really* scary? Climate change models predict Hell freezing over.”
“Well, you’re not who I was expecting, but this is 2020”
“I know, I know. The service here is terrible and you want to see my manager.”
No, you’re looking for Astaroth. His cubicle is the third one on the right.
No, no, no. I don’t want anything in return. I just want you to take my soul now.
Oh, sorry. I was trying to contact Cthulhu.
Why are you being let go? Because we no longer need your help to end the world.
Aren’t you a little late for the End of the World?
Well, I’m very busy 25 years from now. How does this Tuesday for collection sound?
Wait, they sent you here as punishment?
I ‘m done trying to flatten the curve. Let’s face it, people are idiots. Maybe you can start that “Apocalypse” event ahead of schedule and speed things up…?
So, you’re from Microsoft Support? And you got signals from my computer that it has a virus?
New boss, same as the old boss.
So does this office have any other temperature settings besides “eternal hell fires”?
I knew I should’ve read the Terms & Conditions.
Can you tell me how to get a job in marketing?
“So that’s what that spreadsheet formula does!”
What do you mean my PowerPoint isn’t ready yet?
Mate, if you think this is going to scare me you clearly haven’t been keeping up with the news.
Can you get Nick for me? Said he’d be damned if he fixes my laptop once more!
“Do you have something more work-appropriate to enshroud your being with? That flaming aura of doom goes against our company dress code”
I don’t care what it costs! I want to work from home….
Alexa close Zuul, open Zoom.
Drag me to Hell. It’ll be better there.
You’ve got the wrong cubicle. Brenda is 3 cubes down.
Sorry, but you’re not even in the top 10 of surprising things to happen in 2020.
I’m really sorry, but your employment at Savage Snow Cones is just not working out.
We’ve gotten way too many complaints from Uber Eats customers that they’re receiving barbequed food when they didn’t order it.
Sorry dude, last time I saw Ted’s retirement card was on Cerberus’ desk.
HR said you’re not evil enough, we’re going to have to let you go
What do you mean my soul isn’t compatible with Windows 10?
Sorry Dude. You must have gotten off on the wrong floor. Hell is a few floors up from here…
This is why I warned you about going to Arizona
I told you your home is colder than Arizona
I thought I got the Insta app not the penta. Dang it!
– I’m not too sure about these latest Siri upgrades
– Nice costume, Dave, but as the office safety officer I have to report this
– No these aren’t common covid symptoms, but you still might want to contact your doctor
My boss thinks you are a flamer.
My password was so complicated it summoned the devil.
[…] to everybody who entered this year’s Halloween contest! There were hundreds and hundreds of entries this year, and many of them covered similar themes: […]