Savage Chickens Halloween Contest!
What is the chicken saying? You tell me. The funniest suggestion wins a FREE Savage Chickens t-shirt featuring a cartoon from the site.
Update: Winners announced!
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“You shouldn’t watch so much TV.”
bird flu protection?
You did what with its legs?
err..being a chicken or a pumpkin doesn’t save you from anything…both makes good soup.
“And for the full effect, set fire to your head”
I’m sorry… I’m all out of candy corn. Would you like a piece of fruit?
Hmm…there’s something different about you. Have you had a haircut?
right now I’m feeling a terrible urge to bite your head off
oh, not the funky chicken again!
Have you lost your head?
Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
It’s a good look for you.
You’re just asking to become a pie, aren’t you?
“You STILL don’t know Jack”
“I have cancer, Joe.”
“Where do you put the candle?”
theres something different about you today…………..
Shouldn’t you be running around… sort of like a chicken with his head… Well you get the gist
Dude, you should really stay out of Sleepy Hollow on Halloween.
thought that wouldn’t happen ’till after midnight?
Your Easter hat was more … self referential
And they ask why the chicken crossed the road . . . yikes!!!
I always knew you were a dim bulb
A bit too much Botox?
I hope you carved that BEFORE putting it on…
I see you’ve decided to dress up as the Donald this year
i hope no one “squashes” my head!
It’s been done.
i don’t know which is scarier: this or your normal costume.
It’s the great pumpkin Charlie Brown!
is that a new cologne you’re wearing? no wait .. you got a haircut? no – you lost weight? whatever it is you look smashing!
I always thought that there was at least a light in your attic. I see now that I was wrong.
Keep pecking. I’m not scared yet.
You should really stay out of Sleepy Hollow.
And this was a good idea why?
This “Extreme Makeover” business has really gotten outta hand.
“O’Lantern? I didn’t know you were Irish.”
You’re right Joey, the head-stuck-in-a-turkey routine was much funnier.
No, seriously…I want to see your mask.
You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
Let’s light this candle.
When I look in your eyes, all I see is a hollow shell…
Upset the Headless Horseman again, huh??
Ha! You did it now pumpkin jerk. Eat your way out, so I can smack you.
If you mention the Great Pumpkin, I’ll kill you.
Point taken. “Pumpkin” is a stupid term of endearment.
“You won’t win Most Original with that.”
Where did you get that chicken costume?
“You’re right, Michael Myers will never know where to find you now.”
You’re getting ready to watch “Its The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” tonight aren’t you?
“A Supreme Court Justice? You?”
“Yes, chickolantern.com is an available domain name.”
“So your crowing woke the witch doctor. Then what?”
“No radio station is going to play a band named Smashing Chickens.”
“No thanks, I don’t want a KFP franchise.”
How was working with Lance Henriksen?
Stop being such a chicken, and let me go get a knife. Its December for God’s sake!!
You do know they also make pies out of pumpkins…don’t you??
What’s scary to me about that costume is that I’m thinking you’d make one delicious chicken pot pie.
The Witness Protection people have really gotten lazy.
Is that you,Gourd?
You have my attention.
I hope you don’t think this changes anything between us.
This is not the way to feel better about yourself.
Internet dating is not for everyone.
I agree. We must stand together against the Terror.
Autumn colors don’t flatter you.
You’re dead to me.
I always though you would go better with nutmeg.
…and your point is…?
Orange? On you? That is sooo cock-a-doodle don’t.
If you were going for a “Maltese Falcon” look, you failed.
“Who are you supposed to be? The Great Pumpkin?”
“Okay, it was funny last week. Now it just smells.”
Are you going as Joan Rivers
Somewhere there’s a scarecrow with a tiny chicken head…
You’ll die alone and unloved.
You’ll do anything for a free t-shirt won’t you?
Is it me, or have you been getting more sun?
Of course, you know, this means war!
Lemme guess. Nothing left at the costume shop?
So. Any plans for the weekend?
You really need to start getting more sleep.
Just pretend you dont know me, okay?
I think the Terminator costume made you look taller.
Man, you look like one mean hombre!
I told you sticking your nose in other people’s business would get you in trouble!
You’ve got spinach in your teeth.
That was my costume idea!
The other orange meat.
I warned you about throwing eggs at the garden
You’ve gone too far, Lenny. You know how my mother died.
You just had to stick it on your head. I warned you it might not come off!
You had me at “Hello”.
Where’d you store your other head?
I just soiled myself. Are you happy now?
I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again…You’ve got to let those hard to reach seeds go!
Something I said?
Hold that thought, I need to get a match.
Wow! That voodoo stuff works quick!
Is that 100% cotton?
What are you so mad about?
Looks like you didn’t duck in time.
Are you a chicken going as a Jack-o-lantern or a Jack-o-lantern going as a chicken?
Yeah, I guess it’s better than that sandwich costume from last year.
Snap about of it! You are chicken! This won’t make you any braver!
The only all-organic costume left down at WholeFoods I take it?
No, you’ve got the wrong department. You want Complaints … first door on your left.
Did you annoy the grocery store owner again?
How long and how hard did you think about this?
What are YOU so mad about?
What I SAID was “Dude, that bumpkin Arnie’s dead!”
So, where did you put the candle?
I TOLD you to get the seeds out first!
Let’s hope you don’t run into Peter Peter
AAAAAAAAAAAA! Hey, you’re not Karl Rove!
I see the plastic surgery didn’t go quite as planned.
Don’t look at me like that. I TOLD you not to skimp on the cosmetic surgery.
Look, I’m not helping you get that off. It’s your own fault. That’s what you get for not having arms.
Ok, but I can tell you right now, the others aren’t going to like it. It goes against that whole “birds of a feather” thing.
I always knew your head was hollow!
ummm…not really an improvement…but good try!
“Whats that girl??? Timmy fell down the well???”
You’d think with all the readership, we’d get funnier one liners.
Go Ahead Punk Make My Day
Ha Ha Chick for Brains
Oh my God a talking pumpkin!
I hate to break it to you, but the light in your eyes won’t light up that jack-o-lantern.
Trying out the latest home-made facial?
Translation: You are disturbing, I feel a moral obligation to call the police.
What the………….? Are you okay Dude?
You are far too dim to pull off that jack-o-lantern costume.
WOW! You REALLY need to lay off the candy corn!
Don’t panic! Glenda has assured me that at the stroke of midnight, it will turn back into a coach.
Hey, it’s a good thing you made air holes before you decided to eat the seeds.
if you are trying to look smarter, you’ve done a pretty good job
The gypsy’s curse has come to pass…
I’ve never found you more attractive.
She’s never coming back, you know.
Oh, this is your answer to everything!
Is this a commentary on the collapse of social standards and the loss of individuality, or have you been drinking again?
No, I don’t think you have a “fear of intimacy.” Why do you ask?
“Come on, give Lara Flynn Boyle her head back.”
I’ve checked, and your legal options are actually quite limited.
No, no … wrong bird. It’s Ichabod *Crane*.
attack of the killer lanterns o’jack!
jaaaaaack! i am your trick or treater !
just keepin’ it real?
i’ll get you my poultry……and your little pumpkin too!
lemmee guess………had wife an could’t keep er ? kept her in a punkin shell ? well, you couldn’t have kept her very well!
got a bit of a cranial swell goin’ on there bub?
dude! your face is all swelled up and $#!+
Who could love you now?
“Vegan eye for the meat guy?”
License and registration, sir.
Do you think he might have said ‘beware’.
Don’t worry, it’s barely noticeable.
Are you the one they call “El Pumpkino”?
You don’t look like the Jacob Marley I remember.
Sir, I knew the Great Pumpkin. The Great Pumpkin was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Great Pumpkin.
Well, so much for “Intelligent Design”.
White House? Sure. Just hang a left at Maryland and go straight. Ya can’t miss it!
Either it’s me, or there’s some bad candy corn going around.
Take that thing off or I’ll carve you a new one!
Still more natural looking than self-tanner.
Have you been watching Martha Stewart makeovers again?
Have you done something different with your beak?
I thought we were going as chickens this year.
You should wait for the Peanuts gang…. You’re The Great Pumpchicken, right?
Nice try, Ichabod!
You’re going to have to learn to ride a horse to pull that one off!
“What do you mean, ‘Do I know Ichabod Crane?’
It must be “that time of the month.”
I’m no doctor, but my guess is that it’s inoperable.
That was Michael Jackson on the phone. He wants first dibs on your bones after you die. We don’t have to tell him it’s just a costume.
Next time we’ll carve in before you put it over your face… I’ll call 911, you try not to drip on the carpet.
Now that we have seen what it looks like on a pumpkin, lets carve out your real eyes and beak.
“I’m just a girl, standing before a boy, asking him to love me.”
THE RAPTURE IS UPON US!!!! REPENT!!!
Hey, Michael Moore called he wants his head back.
Hey the 19th century called they want their horror back.
I think you may need some Claritin.
Ah, dread spirit! What hellish coop unleashed thee on the night?
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy head from out that gourd.
Sir, you mock me! And I will not be mocked! Shall we say pistols at dawn?
Before the night is out, you will be at the center of one wicked egg tossing.
Yes, it does make you look fat.
“Angels and ministers of grace defend us…”
Hamlet Act 1 Scene 4
Dude… You stuck your head up that pumpkin’s ass… That’s hot.
Since it is unlikely we will ever meet again, let me say now that I have always regarded you as a wise and sensible chicken.
Of all the pumpkin patches on all the farms in all the world, you walk into mine…
Are you NUTS! Those humans like pumpkin pie just as much as FRIED CHICKEN!!
you are perfect evidence of why we should check our candy for tampering.
Catholic chickens agree that this is poor planning for All Saints Day.
My costume is scarier. I’m salmonella.
You always come whining to me, I have my head stuck in a pumpkin, my mother died, I have cancer…where does it end?
ahh, the headless chickenman.
The truth? Okay. That costume is stu….er… really scary. Those Trekkies got nothing on you.
I told you! Pretending to be an ostrich by sticking your head in the ground while you were in the vegetable garden will get you a great costume!
The witch costume was more flattering to your figure.
I thought you were going as a nudist…
I told you it would get stuck…
Really? It smells? I never would have guessed…
Is that my Jack-o-Lantern?
Don’t tell, me: you’re a cheep bastard?
Spent your costume allowance on candy again, didn’t you?
No, your butt looks just fine in that.
I not sure whether to light your face on fire or smash you in the road…
Face it, you’re scarier without a costume !!
I see that whatever was in your ass has just decided to come out the other end.
“O’Lantern. That’s Irish, isn’t it, Jack?”
Nice, but I’m going as a chicken again this year.
Why the sad face, Pun’kin?
I am wearing my mask. I’m going as you!
Cucurbita pleno-head…how cliche.
A chicken mid-life crisis is not a pretty thing.
Corrected version after actually doing a little research (as little as possible too)
“Cucurbita maxima-head…how cliche”
does this officially mean I have no life now?
Unkle boris, where have you been all these years?
when i asked you to dress up to add a bit of spice to our marriage, i didn’t mean that.
Alright fine! I’m sorry I called you “Pumpkin” at the last office Halloween Party. Can’t you just drop it?
well i dont like your face
you know the saying curiosity killed the cat and got the chickens head stuck in a pumpkin
I guess this explains the severed chicken head in the freezer.
You’re too late…Linus was institutionalized 14 years ago.
If you’re Christopher Walken, dreams really do come true!!
So when I give the signal, you come running in like a chicken with it’s…well you know.
Wow, you were right. This works so much better than that banana did.
No, no…seriously, I don’t even notice your pimples anymore.
They said combining Xanax, Viagra and Jack Daniels would cause hallucinations…but I honestly thought they were kidding!
Sleepy Hollow…Sleepy Hollow…hmmmm, I think you take I-10 to exit 4. You sure you want to go there at this time of night?
Well, girls don’t really like pumpkin-heads either…may I suggest a Hasselhoff mask?
So can I assume in March you’ll have your head up a Leprechauns ass?
“Now when I count to 3 you’ll awaken and forget any of this ever happened”
I don’t care if it is Halloween! I don’t kiss on the 1st date!!
You look gourdgeous!
You look gourdgeous!
They say that eyes are the windows to the soul.
You read the end of the email.
“forward this to 10ppl before 10minutes, or yur hed will turn be a pumpkin”
You thought you could mock the Fates without retribution?
“Aerodynamically sound”? No, but why do you care? We can’t fly anyway.
“save some pumpkin for me”
Dude… stop making those “OOOOO” sounds.
That stopped being funny 5 hours ago!
You still don’t hold a candle to Willy Nelson. I hear that he can shoot lasers out of his eyes.
No apples? This year try bobbing for pumpkins instead!!!
The scary part is that you look smarter like that…
I use Crest Whitening.
For the LAST TIME, I am NOT your son… and you’ve got the wrong helmet on.
“Oh, that’s real original…”
Your mother was scared by a WHAT? when she was laying your egg?
“You mean YOU’RE the Great Pumpkin???”
Well, should we HEAD to the party?
He’s not only the president of Pumpkin-Head for Chickens…he’s also a client!
Well, I checked our insurance…you’re screwed.
Does this mean I can hit on your date tonight?
Scared? No, actually the word Halloweenie comes to mind.
Ernest Borgnine called…guess what he wants back.
You did know that you didn’t HAVE to cut your head off, right?
A bird in the pumpkin is worth two in the bush.
Well, when you told me you were going as a Jackass, this wasn’t what I was expecting.
You need to get laid BIG time.
dare you get near me… haven’t you heard of bird flu?
ah, i love easter.
I finally passed that nickel that I swallowed.
I should’ve stopped after two beers at that Halloween party….or maybe you should have.
“Ok I get it, Its not Christmas”