Halloween Contest 2012

It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win the Grand Prize:

  • a hand-drawn copy of your favorite 3″ x 3″ Savage Chickens cartoon, on a sticky note
  • a signed copy of my book
  • a coffee mug
  • a set of three Savage Chickens buttons

And there will be two runner-up winners, who will both win a signed copy of my book.

To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or send it to me via my contact form. Update: Winners announced!

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384 Responses to Halloween Contest 2012

  1. archie says:

    Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord Jesus Christ?

  2. archie says:

    I don’t remember seeing this in the 11-week plan.

  3. Brian says:

    “That way! The Hobbits ran that way!”

  4. Rachel Green says:

    I didn’t know you had alektorophobia

  5. Russell craig says:

    I think I might be lost, this sure doesn’t look like disney land

  6. Luwano says:

    “Do you come here often?”


    “Phew I am glad you came over, I already felt lonely up here.”

  7. GekkoP says:

    “We can do it the hard way or the easy way. Your call.”

  8. Jad says:

    And you’re sure that this is the “World Wide Web”?

  9. Chris says:

    Oh, I thought you meant your massage parlor.

    My therapist is not going to believe this.

    I love what you did with the negative space.

    Yeah, weird things emerge from my butt too.

  10. steve says:

    and then I had a piece of toast….


  11. GekkoP says:

    “You’re here finally. That fly is really pissing me off.”

  12. Ronald Snijder says:

    Did Peter Jackson ever call you back?

  13. Matt says:

    Just so you know Charlotte… Wilbur is a very good friend of mine.

  14. Preeti says:

    Hey! Cool costume!

  15. Matt says:

    Oh My! Why didn’t Colonel Sanders harvest your kinds legs instead of mine.

  16. ferromaggie says:

    A friend of mine works at the local supermarket. Let me talk to him and I can get you some discounted organic stuffing.

  17. Michael says:

    “What do you think, how deep is this strange gorge we’re falling into?”

    “Would you believe me if I told you my name was Frodo?”

    “Kiss me, Spiderman!”

    “Whatever, better than to die in a Cubicle…”

  18. Big Egg says:

    Is my fly open?

  19. Enzo says:

    Oh, here’s the webmaster. I’d like to file a complaint!

  20. Rob says:

    I’m still waiting for my coffee…

  21. Antonio says:

    “I like your decoration, and you should stick to being yourself. This web totally brings out your eyes.”

    I like the happy look of the chicken. 🙂

  22. Jimbo says:

    “Hey, Nice web site!”

  23. Sergio says:

    Interested in insectarianism?

  24. Michael says:

    Headline: Aragog vs. Bat-Chicken
    “ughh (jittering), did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

  25. Sergio says:

    Have you fallen from the trapeze too?

  26. Michael says:

    “be fondly Kankra, … I paid 50 bugs to your Hobbit-Panderer outside”

  27. Michael says:

    “so be it! I made it into a Harry Potter flick”

    or finally:

    “Damn! I wanted to become main actor in a chick-flick – and ended up as dummy in Harry Potter”

  28. Dave says:

    We’re going to need a bigger rolled up newspaper.

  29. cynric says:

    Hello there! Can I interest you in some of our fine household cleaning products?

  30. Jacob Share says:

    My chicken sense is tingling

  31. Dave says:

    In hindsight, asking Hagrid to recommend a web designer wasn’t my greatest idea.

  32. Jacob Share says:

    Have we hung out before?


    I don’t remember ever hanging out here before

  33. pera says:

    (I must say comments so far are brilliant, everyone’s a comedian these days?)

    I know a dream when I see one.
    I know a dream when I see one.
    I know a dream….

  34. Jacob Share says:

    You remind me of someone I used to hang out with

  35. Jake says:

    I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque…

  36. Predictable Guy says:

    This is the last straw, Apple Maps!

  37. Becky says:

    Trick or Treat!

  38. Predictable Guy says:

    Damn, I don’t think I was supposed to skip week 8.

  39. Michael says:

    sorry, one juicy more:

    “without protection means extra money, my friend!”

  40. kal says:

    “Come on Bob, that costume isn’t fooling anyone.”

    “Stay back! I have the flu!”

    “Where’s Garfield when you need him…”

    “Time to eat, you say? Excellent! I’m famished…”

  41. Iouri says:

    Just hanging around on the web… And you?

  42. Kate says:

    “Would you mind calling Animal Planet first? They said your kind were vegetarians.”

  43. Matt says:

    “This is not how i envisioned our first date going!”

  44. EloquentRaven says:

    “Is this the way to Mordor?”
    “Spiderman, you seem diferent today”
    “One does not simply cluck into Mordor”

  45. kostas says:

    You sure about the effects of bird flu on spiders?

  46. Jordan says:

    Are you sure I didn’t apologise for washing you down the plughole…?

  47. Juliano Correa da Silva says:

    “You’re right, maybe I do taste like chicken…”

  48. Drew says:

    …this is not my office!

  49. Radu Mihai says:

    “You may want to diversify a bit. This pattern is getting old.”

  50. Nathan says:

    Have you looked into being “itsy bitsy” and scaling water spouts?

  51. Nathan says:

    And with a simple comma, the song changes to “Here comes the Spider, Man!”

  52. Alex says:

    Life was much easier when I was just an egg…

  53. iamsuperjew says:

    Hey buddy, help! That fly over there is giving me a funny look…

  54. Sally says:

    With all THOSE legs, you better stay away from KFC!

    If we dance do you mind if I lead?

    You do know your nude, right?

  55. Sarah says:

    So, I’m up to Week 9 on the course, and here I am!

  56. Chrissy says:


  57. annina says:

    “dude, what’s with the eyes? can you even see straight?”

  58. Ben Cooper says:

    You know the chicken in family guy – that was me. Come any closer and I’ll kick your ass across the multiverse.

  59. annina says:

    “what are you looking at? never seen a chicken in a spider’s web before? punk!”

  60. Rodrigo Ortiz Vinholo says:

    Is your spider-sense tingling or are you just happy to see me?

  61. annina says:

    “yeah, you better back off, bro, that fly is MINE!”

  62. Rodrigo Ortiz Vinholo says:

    …ok, no more jokes about the WEB.

  63. Dan says:

    Who knew there were predators on the web?
    So, you got anything to eat around here?

  64. Dave Morris says:

    “There’s no time to lose – I think the old woman’s going to swallow a cat next!”

  65. Felecia says:

    “Ooooh, let me! Let me! I know you are that guy from ‘The Spider and the Fly’ right?”
    “Wait! Seriously, do you think I look anything like a fly?”
    “Oh man, you guys really go all out for Halloween huh? What is this sticky stuff?”

  66. Giovanni says:

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  67. Jini Z says:

    Huh. I thought the parlor would be bigger.

  68. Andrew Kingshotte says:

    Dammit! Why did I make the spider web before getting into costume?!

  69. Mr. Icon says:

    “Honey, that is the worst Ewok costume ever!”

  70. Nicole Walther says:

    My what big eyes you have grandma!

  71. Patric says:

    Now I have the proof, mom!!! Chicken actually can fly!!!!

  72. Kristy Bartholomew says:

    Oh my God Mitt Romney!! You already have the arachnid vote. Give it up. Sheeeeesh

  73. cultivatedchiken says:

    Did you really have to prank the witch next door?

  74. Robin says:

    Ah Mr Spider, I’ve been expecting you. Could I possibly trouble you for an anesthetic?

  75. Teo G says:

    Weight watcher chicken for spiders:

    What is your eighth limb saying? Do you really need that extra fly? Are you really hungry or are you compensating your increasingly low-esteem as a fatty arachnid ?

  76. Al Pastor says:

    Let’s get this one out of the way – “Christ, what an asshole”

    “But I don’t taste like chicken”
    “Why didn’t I just cross the road”
    “Why don’t we go to my place for dinner”
    “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
    “Hang on a sec, I have to take this call”
    “Have you seen my car keys?”

  77. Simon says:

    ‘Hi, you must be the manager, I have a couple complaints about my room….’

    ‘You there! Get me down from here. Wait, hairy, 8 legs, that hungry look in the eye. Somethings not right here.’

    ‘Well this will be the most interesting 3 way ive ever had’

    Doug is the best 🙂

  78. Haiku London says:

    Spider approaches
    It seems this chicken faces
    The final curtain

  79. Josh E says:

    So you say the rent is only $200 a month! This is too good to be true!

  80. Philip Bembridge says:


    “So you’re saying if I let you bite me, I get superpowers?”


    “I’m all in a flap”

    p.s. that was a chicken drumroll at the start

  81. Erik Angelo says:

    “Oh Cluck”

  82. Jason says:

    You don’t want to eat me! I’m too fat and filled with bad cholesterol.

  83. Jason says:

    You don’t want to eat me. I’m too skinny, look no meat on my bones!

  84. Sally says:


    Nobody told me there was stuff like THIS on the Web! ! ! ! !

  85. MISarah says:

    “Thanks for inviting me to dinner.”

    “…’To Serve Chicken-kind’ is a COOK BOOK!?”

  86. Matt DeVries says:

    [intimidation tactic] Hey Four Eyes!!! Give me all your lunch money or I’ll beat you up!

    [interior decorator tactic] I love what you’ve done with the place but there is still alot of potential. Let’s start by moving me over there. Yes. Off the web. Just trust me on this one. It will really open the place up.

    [restaurant customer tactic] Waiter!!! There is a fly in my soup!! Yes, he is over there now… but he was in my soup!

  87. Ashlee says:

    “Whoa there killer, have you been workin’ out?”

  88. James Quirk says:

    You must have mistaken my meaning when I said that I can stick around for dinner.

  89. romana says:

    “Take me, not him!”

    Chicken gets Halloween confused with Christmas

  90. Manit says:

    Next Halloween I am not solving any puzzle that opens the portal to Hell.

  91. Saurio says:

    “Peter? Peter Parker?”

    “And it turns out that the Bruce Willis’ character was dead all the movie”.

    “The producers of ‘Twitching Fly’ decided to give the show a new twist”

  92. Carolyn says:

    Have you considered becoming a vegetarian?

  93. gigi says:

    What took you so long? You’ve got eight legs, use them.

  94. Carolyn says:

    This subletting situation is really working out great.

  95. Beth says:

    “…and for the last time, don’t forget to take out the trash!”

    Caption – Manfred secretly wishes he had married that cute little spider from down the street– the one with the dainty red hourglass tattoo on her tummy.

  96. Greg says:

    I hear flies are more tender and juicy.

  97. karen says:

    “Uh, what do you mean ‘Aragog who?'”

  98. Luke says:

    Aragog, king of arachnids, craftsman of such fine webbing. Humans are tasty, chickens are friends!

  99. Glenn says:

    You know, I hear flies like that one over there taste just like chicken. Just say’n.

  100. Mary Downs says:

    Did I say hate? Um..I was just kidding…

  101. Mary Downs says:

    I’m not really scared. I’m just a little chicken.

  102. willwot says:

    Why did the chicken cross the road, well I can tell you it wasn’t for this!

  103. willwot says:

    See the fly over there? Yeah I can barely see it too, probably dessert.

  104. karen says:

    “Sorry to bother you but I’d feel much better if we ran a quick fire drill first.”

  105. Robert says:

    Welcome to my Parlor?

  106. Douglas Troy says:

    Mistaken Identity

    Spider-man! Thank goodness
    you’re here. My friend
    seems to be stuck!

  107. Teriyaki Donuts says:

    I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror.

  108. Keith Silcox says:

    So Shelob- we meet again!

  109. karen says:

    Dang it! I knew I should’ve gone with an exit row!

  110. Wildbird says:

    Excuse me but is this your webpage?

  111. mads brenøe says:

    … of course you don´t look fat from the side, dear.

    I thought we could swop eggs and fuck with the darwinists.

    Stop it right there! Mr. Fly is a frind of mine og I know kung fu!

  112. Grace says:

    Hey, mind if I stick around awhile?

  113. Mark says:

    In the category Famous Last Words: “A spiderweb isn’t that sticky..”

  114. Beth says:

    Have you seen the price of silk these days?! You could make a fortune!
    Well the silk is a little sticky, but I’m willing to overlook that for a reasonable price.

  115. megan says:

    “what the cluck did i get myself into? this is not what i had in mind when i agreed to a dinner date with a big, black, and beautiful woman…”

  116. Stephanie says:

    “I love the open floorplan.”

  117. Angela says:

    Fly? Fly?! Chickens can’t fly!

  118. Ant says:

    I taste like chicken!

  119. Susan says:

    I vote for:

    Yeah, weird things emerge from my butt too.


  120. Jens says:

    “Great, finally someone’s here to fix this trampoline. It’s all sticky and full of flies!”

  121. kaveman says:

    “Don’t eat me, I’m just a chick…”

    “You don’t want me, you want that fly over there!”

    “I’ll save you fly! Get away and warn the others!”

    “Hey baby, hang out here often?”

    “Why did the spider cross the web? To get to the other fly!”

    “You don’t want to eat me, I have salmonella!”

    If it was the spider: “Yummm, I’ve always wanted to try chicken, I hear it tastes like fly!”

  122. Fayer says:

    This is not where I parked my car.

  123. Matt says:

    “The location is fantastic, but what are the school zones?”

  124. David Jimenez says:

    …and then, the humans killeeeeeed the spider.

    Fly, your turn for a scary tale.

  125. Cara says:

    So, you’re a vegetarian… right?

  126. Dan says:

    I’m sorry, but this web is a violation of your lease. You have 1 week to vacate the apartment.

  127. Peter says:

    “So is this a social network?”

    “Which type of web services do you offer?”

    “Are you the new Web Editor?”

    “Noo… wings doesn’t make me a fly!”

  128. Matt says:

    “Yes, I would like a bacon cheeseburger with a soda and a side of french flies, please.”

  129. Balam Aldama says:

    -Technically, spiders are not bugs since they are arachnids not insects.-

  130. Susan Wenger says:

    You unfriended me!

  131. Simon says:

    Dr Livingstone, I presume?

  132. Dana M says:

    “You have pretty eyes. Do you come here often?”


    “Are your feet tired? ‘cuz youve been running through my mind all day.”


    “Which one of the Spice girls are you?”


    “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

  133. Molly says:

    I really have to hope your eyes are bigger than your stomach.

  134. Laurie says:

    Honestly, boss, I’m only on the Web for work-related reasons….

  135. Chris S. says:

    I see you’ve read “Fifty Shades of Grey”…

  136. Sherry says:

    “Not chicken! Eat more flies. Tastes just like chicken without feathers to get stuck in your teeth.”

  137. Adriano says:

    “Did you know vegetarians live longer?”

  138. Claire says:

    My goodness, Grandma, what big eyes you have!

  139. Allen's Brain says:

    “Surfing the web!” Heh, that’s pretty funny! Can you let me go now?

  140. Karen says:

    I knew Mom was full of it….harmless my a$$!

  141. Teri Benson says:

    Thank goodness you are a vegetarian!

  142. Dianthier says:

    Welcome to my nightmare!

  143. Julie says:

    Wow, this is awkward. I didn’t realize this was a costume party.

  144. Dev Null says:

    “This would be funny if life wasn’t so sacred.”

    (From the original 1958 The Fly.)

  145. DrPsychoJo says:

    “Hi! I’m Steve, your new roommate.”

  146. Linus says:

    “Never mind, but I don’t think it’s good for me if we stick together!

  147. Pedro Zanetti says:

    Super Size Me?

  148. karen says:

    Just my luck…here comes Aunt Flo.

  149. Tyler says:

    Your dating profile said you had an interest in entomology but this seems a little obsessive.

  150. Martin says:

    ..and I ask you, smartass, which came first the spider or the fly?

  151. Laflamme says:

    Hey, chicka, my parents are gone for the weekend, so I got the house for myself: wanna meet up IRL?

  152. tish says:

    Your hour glass appears empty. Our time is up. I must be going now.

  153. Karen says:

    Well that’s the last time you’ll catch me stopping to smell the roses!

  154. Sugar Low says:

    Really? You are arachnophobic too? I would have never guessed….

  155. Dilara Cankaya says:

    You’ve been a wonderful host, but you should eat that fly.

    I guess I’m late for trick or treat.

  156. Laurie Ann says:

    Hey buddy, a little help here? I seem to be stuck.

  157. Sugar Low says:

    [chicken] Seriously? YOU are vegetarian?

  158. Sugar Low says:

    “And it’s all your fault, I screen my phone calls..”… No Doubt… really? does not ring a bell?

  159. Bud says:

    1. Are you familiar with Doug Savage’s “How to Cure Your Arachnophobia?”
    2. Newsflash, buddy: everyone thought you were creepier as a clown!
    3. Zombie apocalypse survival training. Three weeks wasted!

  160. My says:

    1) “Don’t look at me like that, I was gonna share the fly with you.”

    2) “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries but…It might be time for another leg wax.”

    3) “You heard him wrong, “Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz” means eat me FIRST.”

    4) “I knew changing my name to ‘Gulliver’ would end poorly.”

  161. Sugar Low says:

    I like “Dia de Los Muertos” personally.. I am just surprised you like “Saint Patrick’s Day” best…

  162. Charlene S says:

    How many times do I have to tell you I really don’t “taste like chicken” because this is my costume!


    …and that’s when I realized pushing the button for local web access was not at all what I assumed it was…


    Augh! I thought signing up for the reality show “Hanging Out and Eating” would be different than this…


    Worst experience of 2012: Keeping your New Year’s resolution to overcome your Arachnophobia.


    When Prod3000 said “Lunch with a new vendor”, I was thinking steak, not chicken!

  163. Sugar Low says:

    I do see it has great location, but just not sure this is what me and my family were looking for…

  164. Charlene S says:

    This is why chickens shouldn’t cross the road!

  165. Michael says:

    “cross the rode they said. get to the other side they said.”

    “it’s just myth! flies do not taste like chicken!”

    “ok frank, you got this, act casual”

    “next time just send me a calendar invite”

  166. LindaDub says:

    What do you mean you don’t know if flies taste like chicken YET? You eat flies every… oh.

  167. Enzo says:

    I was thinkin’… wouldn’t we be more comfortable at MY place?

  168. Saurio says:

    Variations on alectrophobia (fear of chickens):

    1) “So this is the way you are going to cure your alectrophobia?”

    2) “I presume you don’t suffer from alectrophobia, right?”

    3) “Did you ever heard of alectrophobia? It rocks!”

  169. andrewclunn says:

    Shrink rays are not toys.

  170. andrewclunn says:

    Wow! 3D TV was totally worth it!

  171. Ula says:

    1)”Hello everybody! My name is Garry and I’m an alcoholic..”
    2) O Romeo, Romeo! Why are you “Romeo?”
    3) Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I’m pregnant, and that’s your baby!

  172. Jeremy says:

    “I take your 8 legs and raise you a pecker..”
    “I’m not leaving until I see a trick!”

  173. Stuart Ciske says:

    Web App. Ha. Ha. I get it….Ok, you can now let me go. Really.

  174. rbt says:

    If I make it to the center it’s safe, right?

  175. I am here for the SEO conference.

  176. rbt says:

    Listen up crabcakes, or i’ll flick a shaft in your eye.

  177. rbt says:

    I’ve lost my wife.

  178. Ian C says:

    Mr. Fruitfly, it’s right in your price range, and the views are amazing. Oh, and here’s the contractor!

  179. rbt says:

    What do you mean, trick or trick? That’s so 2010.

  180. Fränz says:

    Hello Mr. Goliath Birdeater,
    (my name is David and) I just dropped my slingshot would you mind picking it up? Please…

  181. rbt says:

    You’re so intense, yet… Oh my, I never thought speed dating could be like this.

  182. Snarkface says:

    Look, I know it’s *your* parlor, but they’re gonna bust you for false advertising if you keep this up!

  183. Fränz says:

    Spiderchick, Spiderchick,
    Does what ever a spiderchick does.
    Can I swing, from a web?
    No I can’t, I’m a chick.
    Look out, I’m a spiderchick

  184. …. so then the other chicken says, “Why *did* the spider cross the web?”

  185. Alen says:

    “Don’t bother man, my friends say I have no taste at all!”

  186. Dan W says:

    “Timmy Tofu! I hardly recognized you in that costume!”

  187. Darian says:

    The octochicken will save me once it comes down from its own web.

  188. Laflamme says:

    What is this, compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live?

  189. Victoria says:

    Inspirational Reject Message #888
    Thousands of people have made millions on the Web.

  190. Joao says:

    – … and THAT’s how you catch a fly!

    – Let’s get ready to the ruuuuuuuuuumble!

    – As your couple’s therapist, I’d rather see you in my office

    – Two against one, you better run bully!

    – Dibs on the fly!

    – Brains! Brains! (legend: why Zombie chicken shouldn’t wear living chicken costume)

    – Soooo…. which useless mutant are you?

  191. Sunflower says:

    Wait Charlotte – I owe Wilbur $20 and he’ll never forgive you if you eat me now!

  192. Joao says:

    – What would Happy Bear do?

  193. Laflamme says:

    You were right, it feels like I’m flying at last!

  194. Laflamme says:

    Super Tree, help me!

  195. Dave D from WV says:

    You didn’t know I could fly, did you?

    I’m not the meal you’re looking for….

    I am _so_ thrilled to be on “Dancing with the Spiders!”

  196. Laura Homan says:

    “300 eggs at a time!? Girl, that’s just CRAZY!”

  197. Fränz says:

    Note to self: If get out alive, change brand of spider repellent.

  198. Andy says:

    So do you prefer Black Widow, or African American Self Empowered Woman?

  199. Gabriel says:

    I expected something different from “Trick”

  200. Andy says:

    Wow, I can’t believe you made this place with your butt!

  201. marius says:

    nice wallpaper!

  202. rayssa says:

    i believe the herb you’re looking for is rosemary!

  203. nathan! says:


  204. csa says:

    “i can’t believe i found my long lost brother! so what did you do after the egg?”

  205. Jim says:

    I thought we were supposed to arrange a “safe word” before you tied me up, Madame Shelob.

  206. So, tell me about your secret world domination plan!

  207. Alejandro says:

    Really! Dr. Brundle said we could all fit in the machine.

  208. Peter Nilsson says:

    Boy this phobia treatment is intense!

  209. Peter Nilsson says:

    Good evening, sir. Would you care to try our fly selection?

  210. Peter Nilsson says:

    Just out of curiosity, are you more afraid of me than I am of you?

  211. Ragnar Olafsson says:

    Ok I’m in your parlour, now what?
    No, my young have never tried to devour me.

  212. Andrew says:

    I bet the rain making the waterpipe slippery feels like ground hog day.

  213. Peter Nilsson says:

    There’s never a road when you need one!

  214. Peter Nilsson says:

    Trick it is then!

  215. Leah says:

    So you see… she swallowed the spider to catch the fly… then swallowed the chicken to get spider lick’n… not the other way around…

  216. Bud says:

    “I look good today. I look great today! I look MIGHTY FINE today!”
    Title: Ignorance is bliss when you’re a narcissist.

  217. …when first we practise to deceive.

  218. Missy says:

    “Sweet! Now I’m just one degree from William Shatner!”

    It’s very seldom I get to geek so hard as to make a Kingdom of the Spiders reference.

  219. Michael says:

    I love what you’ve done with your parlor! Ooh, are those hangings silk?

  220. Polip says:

    Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy.

  221. Daniel says:

    “and then the spider and the little fly lived happily ever after”

  222. Jillian says:

    Who me? Couldn’t be…
    The fly stole the cookie from the cookie jar…

  223. Bud says:

    So Doug said “I’m gonna draw you going to work in this one,” and I said “You !@*#ing jerk!” So, here we are!

  224. Johnny Bley says:

    That’s it, closer, closerrrrr, soon I’ll have lunchhhhh

  225. Sahab says:

    “Awww babe, I could never leave you!”

  226. Sahab says:

    “Ok, but the fly watching us makes me a little nervous”.

  227. Tracy says:

    You wanna split that last fly?

  228. Vivian F. says:

    “I’m guessing that by ‘treat’ you didn’t mean ‘candy’, then…”

  229. Jae Mender says:

    Caption 1: I loved you in “Krull”.

    Caption 2: Oh no. There’s an icky fly right behind me, isn’t there?

  230. Kat says:

    No, really – ANYONE can do the chicken dance. C’mon.. nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh!

  231. em7srv says:

    “Waiter….there’s a fly in my soup.”

    “Pie? Pie? I’d love some pie, thank you so much for offering!”

    “Dammit, I love you Martha. I don’t care about your husband. Mate with me and then kill me and eat me…it’s meant to be!”

    “Ok, let’s go over this one more time…your husband came home late…he started to force himself on you and grew angry when you wouldn’t comply so in self defense you…oh wait…there’s another fly…”

    “You’re right there is another fly. Wow, it’s like you have some kind of “sense” that I don’t have or something.”

  232. Melissa says:

    “You’re getting sleepy, very sleepy”

  233. João says:

    “Perhaps I should’ve specified I was not the treat!”

  234. Carlos says:

    “Are you here for the flies too?”

  235. Carson says:

    Stick around for dinner? Sure!

  236. Nick Fegley says:

    Despite my arachnophobia, this is preferable to watching yet another presidential debate.

  237. Ill Bill says:

    Trick or Treeeattheflyandnotmeeeeet

  238. Chrissy says:

    “Don’t be a chicken!”

  239. John says:

    With this spider costume, I’m totally going to win the costume contest this year.

  240. H. M. says:

    Darn. I should’ve never crossed that road!

  241. Michael says:

    ‘I’m not sure houseflies qualify as “treats”‘

  242. H. M. says:

    Can you just close your eyes, I’d rather not see myself get decapitated in 8 different angles!

  243. Philip says:

    This is the most lifelike website I’ve ever visited!

  244. Michael says:

    STOP IT! I’ve got a wife and small eggs!

  245. alex says:

    If you think this can hold me, remember that I recently escaped from Romney’s web of lies

  246. Michael says:

    Quick Doug, draw me some bug-spray!

  247. Dion says:

    Great costume Timmy. Goes well with this web I put up for Halloween.

  248. Colleen says:

    No, I swear — Hobbits taste BETTER than chicken!

  249. asq says:

    i just need to put a parking ticket and will be riiiight back!

  250. Courtney says:

    Oh great – now I’ve got crabs.

  251. Laura Escamilla says:

    I’m looking for a Miss Muffet…

  252. Bryan says:

    “C’mon, you’re not that bad… Are you sure you’re going to do this?”


    “Ungoliant, is that you?…”

  253. Simone Camillo says:


    If I do a funny trick, you promise me I won´t be your treat?

    Simone Camillo, Ribeirão Preto, SP, Brazil.

  254. jamFRIDGE says:

    “Ha! You can’t suck the life out of me, my ex-wife already did!”

    “Alright, I get it. Your costume is realistic”

  255. Paul says:

    In this scene I want you to envision you are eating lunch but, act it out like you are in a Hitchcock feature

  256. Emily says:

    “Hey four eyes!”

    “Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.”

    “Say, why’s this stuff sticky anyway?”

    “De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne – oh, wait, that’s Batman.”

    “So how many boxes of cookies did you want to buy?”

    “So do you know Shelob?”

  257. João Mion says:

    “We do look great… but this suit itches. Next year I am the butterfly and you are the cocoon.”

    “C’mon… don’t be rush! I can get more candy in a minute!”

  258. Mike says:

    So…what’s for dinner?

  259. darren says:

    So I thought I’d ask a professional, Maguire or Garfield?

  260. Seth says:

    “The fly probably tastes better! Heck, it probably tastes like chicken!”

  261. darren says:

    I really need to read the fineprint on those dating websites…..

  262. Mike says:

    Wow, the new Spiderman movie is so realistic!

  263. Stuart says:

    “Curse these sticky notes!”

  264. John says:

    “This actually was in the brochure. I’ve been trying to grab life by the balls lately.”

  265. Steve says:

    Sorry to bug you at dinnertime, but I’m selling magazine subscriptions to earn a class trip. Whaddya say, can you help me out?

  266. Jennifer De Lurio says:

    This is really going to impress the geologists in 140 million years!

  267. Bud says:

    Hahaha, and we used to have more horses and bayonets!
    Title: Presidential debate through the eyes of Stephen King

  268. Andrea Furlough says:

    You don’t want me, everything tastes like chicken! But have you ever had a worm? I can dig one up for you…

  269. Mary says:

    You must think I’m so naive
    A chicken and a spider can’t conceive!
    Oh what a tangled web we’d weave!
    (It’s really time for me to leave)

  270. DD Powers says:

    Don’t look at me that way! You asked me and they do make you look fat!


    In my last dream YOU tasted just like chicken…

  271. Micah says:

    You have Alektorophobia?
    An irrational fear of chickens?
    Buddy, you’ll never believe this coincidence…

  272. Nancy says:

    Yeah, he told me it would be cool if I just showed up.

  273. Otavio says:

    Did you say there is a bug when you try to surf the web?

  274. Tom says:

    you do know i have been on heroin for quite some time don’t you ?

  275. Pink says:

    “Nature in 3D, it’s so life like! Best movie ever!!”

  276. Franklin says:

    Augh! I told them at the costume shop that I wanted to go 1980s retro and be “Webster!” I want my money back!

  277. nicosom says:

    don’t eat me, I taste like human

    you can eat me, or I could help you catching the fly

    don’t eat me, I taste like chicken

  278. nicosom says:

    colonel sanders is going to sue you

  279. Steven L says:

    “So… come here often?”
    Caption: Poor places to meet new people

    “Believe it or not, I don’t actually taste like chicken.”

    “Oh waiter, there’s a fly in my web.”

  280. FarmWife says:

    Damn. I really thought I was going to just walk into Mordor.

  281. TJ says:

    The calls are coming from INSIDE the web!

  282. Diana Helmer says:

    Maybe this is why chickens don’t fly…

  283. tom owens says:

    Why, oh, why did I cross that road? Why, oh, why, oh, why?

  284. Sugar Low says:

    You seriously have not seen “Arachnophobia”? Best movie with your kind ever! Is it ok that I said “your kind”? Sorry. Hope that not came across as offensive. I just get all excited when talking about Frank Marshal movies. Genius! Right? Am I right? You seem distant…

  285. gko says:

    aha! I’ve caught you in my chicken web….

    I’m telling you for the last time…No money, no fly. That’s the deal.

  286. Karin uit NL says:

    Mr Sanders, there must be another way to create eight legged chickens?

    Boy, i’ve got myself in a sticky situation.

    Aw c’mon, you don’t want feathers stuck between your teeth, do you?

  287. Franklin says:

    What? Zombies are suddenly out this year?

  288. CW says:

    “I don’t know how you do it… it took me *forever* to make this web!”

  289. Cristobal says:

    My friend says that you’re the weirdest roomie I’ve ever had

  290. AJ Flynn says:

    Eat more Cow!!!

  291. AJ Flynn says:

    Eat more beef!!!

  292. Kelly says:

    And the itsy bitsy spider went where?

  293. Amanda Birling says:

    I wish Al Gore hadn’t invented the web.

  294. nancy says:

    “What came first, the spider or the web?”

  295. nancy says:

    Have you seen Miss Muffet? I heard that eggs were the new curds and whey.

  296. nancy says:

    Come and get me big guy. Let’s play a game of chicken!

  297. nancy says:

    “So you’ll be needing four knives and four forks?”

  298. Jason says:

    Your costume is a little extreme.

  299. Donna M says:

    The Hangover 5.0

    What the &^%$# happened last night??!! Hey Phil, am I missing a tooth??

  300. Marco_Mo says:

    So… remember that time I let you live?

  301. Marco_Mo says:

    That fly got you trapped here to, huh?

  302. Marco_Mo says:

    When I count to three… you’ll start acting like a chicken

  303. EmeraldWings says:

    “Can i at least call my mom first so she doesn’t worry?”

    “And Grandma, what a big abdomen you have!”

    “So Galissa was all like ‘psh!’ and i was like ‘Ugh!’ ”

    “You know what’s sad? this isn’t even the worst date i’ve had”

    “Look Uncle Roy, this was funny when i was like 5, but now it’s just annoying”

    “And all this time we were preparing for a zombie apocalypse, who knew it would be giant spiders instead!”

  304. greg says:

    The light of Eärendil is just a firefly?

  305. Rick says:

    “I…um…brought you this fly!”

  306. Peter Nilsson says:

    Well at least we know the Hurricane Sandy emergency one way teleport works!

  307. Andy says:

    Really? A webcomic? You don’t think that’s a bit cliché?

  308. Brian B says:


  309. vgoia says:

    It DOES leave the bugs out, but don’t you have other patterns?

  310. Micah says:

    Don’t fall for it, it’s a pyramid scheme.
    The old woman wants you to eat the fly, and then I’m supposed to eat you.
    We need to find a way out of here before she swallows a cat.

  311. Martin says:

    Why does your back look like a set of asses?

  312. Myrna says:

    “I taste better fried”

  313. Sergio says:

    You call that continental breakfast?

  314. Sergio says:

    And this is the master bedroom.

  315. Sergio says:

    Well yes, you are adopted.

  316. Sergio says:

    She does not want to talk to you now

  317. Jackson Guardini says:

    Well, I have to say that: I am your Father!!!

  318. Jackson Guardini says:

    Wait! I can teach you la tarantula! I mean, tarantella! Oh…

  319. Jackson Guardini says:

    Wait! Maybe the Dingo ate your baby!

  320. Jackson Guardini says:

    – No chicken for YOU!!!

  321. Jackson Guardini says:

    – Get out! My real name is Chichen Norris!

  322. Debbie Kirychuk says:

    C’mon Boss… I think you’ve taken this whole Peter Parker costume a bit too far now.

  323. kari may says:

    Didn’t you work with Vincent Price once? It was William Shatner…oh…my bad.

  324. mm2knet says:

    In over 15 years of surfing the web this has never happened to me before…

  325. Kristin says:

    “This isn’t what I expected when you invited me over for dinner.”

  326. gko says:

    Hey, did you know that your web is only sticky on the other side?

  327. Brian B says:

    Well, you don’t look like your Match.com profile picture either.

  328. Michael says:

    “But still she was there, who was there before Harper, and before the first stone of Vancouver; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Chicken and HappyTrees, bloated and grown fat with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness… Ahhhh”

  329. dreah35 says:

    Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!

  330. Mani Malik says:

    Hey no fair! When your profile said you are into “spending time on the web, dimly lit dinners and dabbling in bondage”, you sounded awesome…

  331. nicole says:

    Excuse me, could you please lend me a hand for a second?

  332. Uvarigh says:

    got WI-FI?

    sorry, no kiss on first day

    can I get a cup of coffe?

    I should have buyed that gps

  333. Charles Hickens says:

    Thank goodness! Help has arrived! We’ve been stuck here for hours!

  334. Rob R says:

    I think you should eat that fly up there instead of me. I hear they taste like chicken!

  335. Rob R says:

    Hey spider – time’s fun when you’re having flies! *Sigh* I’m going to die…

  336. Rob R says:

    I’m coming down with Stockholm Syndrome – I understand now why you’re angry and holding me captive… it’s because you’re ugly!

  337. tony bond says:

    Let’s share the last Fly and stay friends.

  338. Jenn Proulx says:

    “So…do flies taste like, well, me?”
    (The next one ages me a bit…)
    “Your parlor really is quite beautiful, but I’ve got an early meeting so…..*Yawn*”

  339. Sugar Low says:

    “I’ve been really tryin’ baby..
    Tryin’ to hold back these feelings for so long…”

  340. Candace says:

    Fly had two margaritas. Guess it’s your lucky night!

  341. Candace says:

    Hey, we’re on in three! Try not to look so darn cute!

  342. Ryan Nusbickel says:

    I’m here for my annual review. Why did the memo say to bring barbecue sauce?

  343. Ryan Nusbickel says:

    Does this climbing gym have something to do with our new corporate wellness plan?

  344. Ryan Nusbickel says:

    So you’re the new human resources director? Between you and me, we work for a bunch of blood-suckers.

  345. Mind if I pin this web site to Pinterest? I think a lot of crafters will really love it!

  346. Ryan Nusbickel says:

    “You’re trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson.”

    – In theaters just in time for Halloween
    … “The Gory-aduate”

  347. Vlad Rus says:






  348. Ryan Nusbickel says:

    “You complete me.”

    – Scary Maguire, a film by the director of Slay Anything and Almost Infamous

  349. Sarah McGuirk says:

    Thanks for inviting me! You have a beautiful parlor.

  350. Bud says:

    This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!
    Title: Alternate ending #1 to Curse of the Black Pearl.

  351. Chuck says:

    I said Trick or Treat!! I repeat Trick or Treat!! OK forget it, you keep the candy and I….. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

  352. Elliot says:

    “I don’t always get stuck in spider webs, but when I do, it’s always the mutated arachnids that eat chicken.”

    “This is a nice den you have here, but that fly is a bit cliche.”

  353. Amy says:

    I can’t fly. Not a fly. I can’t fly. Not a fly.

  354. Kcody says:

    Of coarse I think you two make a great couple, I’m just not sure that the world is ready for a swam of “fliders” at this point

  355. Jenn P says:

    Nice fangs, do you sparkle too?

  356. Stacey says:

    1) Don’t roll your eyes at me, honey. We can make this work!

    2) For the therapy to work, you’ll have to LOOK at the fly… with ALL your eyes.

  357. Seema says:

    Trust me, this is not what your friends meant by “picking up chicks.”

  358. Sergio says:

    Can you leave us alone for a second?

  359. The smoking monkey says:

    STOP! I taste exactly like chicken!

  360. The smoking monkey says:

    I must have mistyped the URL and landed in the strange corner of the web….

  361. The smoking monkey says:

    Chicken vs spider… It won’t end well for you, spidy! Say hello to your last Halloween.

  362. Jared says:

    Your fly is down.

  363. rich b says:

    Ahhhh, ummmm….Shoo?

    You shall not pass!!

  364. Sugar Low says:

    So you are a little hairy… don’t bother me none…

  365. Sugar Low says:

    …so then the grasshopper says “you have drink named Bob?”

  366. Chris says:

    “I’m clucked!”

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