It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win the Grand Prize:
- a hand-drawn copy of your favorite 3″ x 3″ Savage Chickens cartoon, on a sticky note
- a signed copy of my book
- a coffee mug
- a set of three Savage Chickens buttons
And there will be two runner-up winners, who will both win a signed copy of my book.
To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or send it to me via my contact form. Update: Winners announced!
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384 Responses to Halloween Contest 2012
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Preorder my new book!
Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord Jesus Christ?
I don’t remember seeing this in the 11-week plan.
“That way! The Hobbits ran that way!”
lol, awesome
I didn’t know you had alektorophobia
I think I might be lost, this sure doesn’t look like disney land
“Do you come here often?”
or
“Phew I am glad you came over, I already felt lonely up here.”
“We can do it the hard way or the easy way. Your call.”
And you’re sure that this is the “World Wide Web”?
That is funny Jad
Oh, I thought you meant your massage parlor.
My therapist is not going to believe this.
I love what you did with the negative space.
Yeah, weird things emerge from my butt too.
and then I had a piece of toast….
🙂
“You’re here finally. That fly is really pissing me off.”
Did Peter Jackson ever call you back?
Just so you know Charlotte… Wilbur is a very good friend of mine.
Hey! Cool costume!
Oh My! Why didn’t Colonel Sanders harvest your kinds legs instead of mine.
A friend of mine works at the local supermarket. Let me talk to him and I can get you some discounted organic stuffing.
“What do you think, how deep is this strange gorge we’re falling into?”
“Would you believe me if I told you my name was Frodo?”
“Kiss me, Spiderman!”
“Whatever, better than to die in a Cubicle…”
Is my fly open?
LOL, good one
Oh, here’s the webmaster. I’d like to file a complaint!
I’m still waiting for my coffee…
“I like your decoration, and you should stick to being yourself. This web totally brings out your eyes.”
I like the happy look of the chicken. 🙂
“Hey, Nice web site!”
Interested in insectarianism?
Waiter!
Headline: Aragog vs. Bat-Chicken
“ughh (jittering), did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
Have you fallen from the trapeze too?
“be fondly Kankra, … I paid 50 bugs to your Hobbit-Panderer outside”
“so be it! I made it into a Harry Potter flick”
or finally:
“Damn! I wanted to become main actor in a chick-flick – and ended up as dummy in Harry Potter”
We’re going to need a bigger rolled up newspaper.
Hello there! Can I interest you in some of our fine household cleaning products?
My chicken sense is tingling
In hindsight, asking Hagrid to recommend a web designer wasn’t my greatest idea.
Have we hung out before?
Or-
I don’t remember ever hanging out here before
(I must say comments so far are brilliant, everyone’s a comedian these days?)
I know a dream when I see one.
I know a dream when I see one.
I know a dream….
You remind me of someone I used to hang out with
I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque…
This is the last straw, Apple Maps!
Trick or Treat!
Damn, I don’t think I was supposed to skip week 8.
sorry, one juicy more:
“without protection means extra money, my friend!”
“Come on Bob, that costume isn’t fooling anyone.”
“Stay back! I have the flu!”
“Where’s Garfield when you need him…”
“Time to eat, you say? Excellent! I’m famished…”
Just hanging around on the web… And you?
“Would you mind calling Animal Planet first? They said your kind were vegetarians.”
“This is not how i envisioned our first date going!”
Its a TRAP!!
“Is this the way to Mordor?”
“Spiderman, you seem diferent today”
“One does not simply cluck into Mordor”
You sure about the effects of bird flu on spiders?
Are you sure I didn’t apologise for washing you down the plughole…?
“You’re right, maybe I do taste like chicken…”
…this is not my office!
“You may want to diversify a bit. This pattern is getting old.”
Have you looked into being “itsy bitsy” and scaling water spouts?
And with a simple comma, the song changes to “Here comes the Spider, Man!”
Life was much easier when I was just an egg…
“Oh cluck…”
Hey buddy, help! That fly over there is giving me a funny look…
With all THOSE legs, you better stay away from KFC!
If we dance do you mind if I lead?
You do know your nude, right?
So, I’m up to Week 9 on the course, and here I am!
“I REGRET SUBVERTING THEIR CULTURE FROM WITHIN!”
i get it, ha ha!
“dude, what’s with the eyes? can you even see straight?”
You know the chicken in family guy – that was me. Come any closer and I’ll kick your ass across the multiverse.
“what are you looking at? never seen a chicken in a spider’s web before? punk!”
Is your spider-sense tingling or are you just happy to see me?
“yeah, you better back off, bro, that fly is MINE!”
…ok, no more jokes about the WEB.
Who knew there were predators on the web?
So, you got anything to eat around here?
“There’s no time to lose – I think the old woman’s going to swallow a cat next!”
“Ooooh, let me! Let me! I know you are that guy from ‘The Spider and the Fly’ right?”
Or
“Wait! Seriously, do you think I look anything like a fly?”
Or
“Oh man, you guys really go all out for Halloween huh? What is this sticky stuff?”
Happy Thanksgiving!
Huh. I thought the parlor would be bigger.
Dammit! Why did I make the spider web before getting into costume?!
“Honey, that is the worst Ewok costume ever!”
My what big eyes you have grandma!
Now I have the proof, mom!!! Chicken actually can fly!!!!
Oh my God Mitt Romney!! You already have the arachnid vote. Give it up. Sheeeeesh
Did you really have to prank the witch next door?
Ah Mr Spider, I’ve been expecting you. Could I possibly trouble you for an anesthetic?
Weight watcher chicken for spiders:
What is your eighth limb saying? Do you really need that extra fly? Are you really hungry or are you compensating your increasingly low-esteem as a fatty arachnid ?
Let’s get this one out of the way – “Christ, what an asshole”
“But I don’t taste like chicken”
“Why didn’t I just cross the road”
“Why don’t we go to my place for dinner”
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
“Hang on a sec, I have to take this call”
“Have you seen my car keys?”
‘Hi, you must be the manager, I have a couple complaints about my room….’
‘You there! Get me down from here. Wait, hairy, 8 legs, that hungry look in the eye. Somethings not right here.’
‘Well this will be the most interesting 3 way ive ever had’
Doug is the best 🙂
Spider approaches
It seems this chicken faces
The final curtain
So you say the rent is only $200 a month! This is too good to be true!
Drumroll:
“So you’re saying if I let you bite me, I get superpowers?”
Or,
“I’m all in a flap”
p.s. that was a chicken drumroll at the start
“Oh Cluck”
You don’t want to eat me! I’m too fat and filled with bad cholesterol.
You don’t want to eat me. I’m too skinny, look no meat on my bones!
WHOA!
Nobody told me there was stuff like THIS on the Web! ! ! ! !
“Thanks for inviting me to dinner.”
“…’To Serve Chicken-kind’ is a COOK BOOK!?”
[intimidation tactic] Hey Four Eyes!!! Give me all your lunch money or I’ll beat you up!
[interior decorator tactic] I love what you’ve done with the place but there is still alot of potential. Let’s start by moving me over there. Yes. Off the web. Just trust me on this one. It will really open the place up.
[restaurant customer tactic] Waiter!!! There is a fly in my soup!! Yes, he is over there now… but he was in my soup!
“Whoa there killer, have you been workin’ out?”
You must have mistaken my meaning when I said that I can stick around for dinner.
“Take me, not him!”
Chicken gets Halloween confused with Christmas
Next Halloween I am not solving any puzzle that opens the portal to Hell.
“Peter? Peter Parker?”
“And it turns out that the Bruce Willis’ character was dead all the movie”.
“The producers of ‘Twitching Fly’ decided to give the show a new twist”
Have you considered becoming a vegetarian?
What took you so long? You’ve got eight legs, use them.
This subletting situation is really working out great.
“…and for the last time, don’t forget to take out the trash!”
Caption – Manfred secretly wishes he had married that cute little spider from down the street– the one with the dainty red hourglass tattoo on her tummy.
I hear flies are more tender and juicy.
“Uh, what do you mean ‘Aragog who?'”
Aragog, king of arachnids, craftsman of such fine webbing. Humans are tasty, chickens are friends!
You know, I hear flies like that one over there taste just like chicken. Just say’n.
Did I say hate? Um..I was just kidding…
I’m not really scared. I’m just a little chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road, well I can tell you it wasn’t for this!
Never take a dare to try and fly across the Nevada Nuclear Test Range, that’s what my daddy told me, did I listen???
See the fly over there? Yeah I can barely see it too, probably dessert.
“Sorry to bother you but I’d feel much better if we ran a quick fire drill first.”
Welcome to my Parlor?
Mistaken Identity
Spider-man! Thank goodness
you’re here. My friend
seems to be stuck!
I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror.
So Shelob- we meet again!
Come into my parlor!
Dang it! I knew I should’ve gone with an exit row!
Excuse me but is this your webpage?
Its a WEB!!!
Call me Mary Jane
… of course you don´t look fat from the side, dear.
I thought we could swop eggs and fuck with the darwinists.
Stop it right there! Mr. Fly is a frind of mine og I know kung fu!
Hey, mind if I stick around awhile?
In the category Famous Last Words: “A spiderweb isn’t that sticky..”
Have you seen the price of silk these days?! You could make a fortune!
or
Well the silk is a little sticky, but I’m willing to overlook that for a reasonable price.
“what the cluck did i get myself into? this is not what i had in mind when i agreed to a dinner date with a big, black, and beautiful woman…”
“I love the open floorplan.”
Fly? Fly?! Chickens can’t fly!
I taste like chicken!
I vote for:
Yeah, weird things emerge from my butt too.
CLASSIC!!!!!
“Great, finally someone’s here to fix this trampoline. It’s all sticky and full of flies!”
“Don’t eat me, I’m just a chick…”
“You don’t want me, you want that fly over there!”
“I’ll save you fly! Get away and warn the others!”
“Hey baby, hang out here often?”
“Why did the spider cross the web? To get to the other fly!”
“You don’t want to eat me, I have salmonella!”
If it was the spider: “Yummm, I’ve always wanted to try chicken, I hear it tastes like fly!”
This is not where I parked my car.
“The location is fantastic, but what are the school zones?”
…and then, the humans killeeeeeed the spider.
Fly, your turn for a scary tale.
So, you’re a vegetarian… right?
I’m sorry, but this web is a violation of your lease. You have 1 week to vacate the apartment.
“So is this a social network?”
“Which type of web services do you offer?”
“Are you the new Web Editor?”
“Noo… wings doesn’t make me a fly!”
“Yes, I would like a bacon cheeseburger with a soda and a side of french flies, please.”
-Technically, spiders are not bugs since they are arachnids not insects.-
You unfriended me!
Dr Livingstone, I presume?
“You have pretty eyes. Do you come here often?”
or
“Are your feet tired? ‘cuz youve been running through my mind all day.”
or
“Which one of the Spice girls are you?”
or
“If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”
I really have to hope your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
Honestly, boss, I’m only on the Web for work-related reasons….
I see you’ve read “Fifty Shades of Grey”…
“Not chicken! Eat more flies. Tastes just like chicken without feathers to get stuck in your teeth.”
“Did you know vegetarians live longer?”
My goodness, Grandma, what big eyes you have!
“Surfing the web!” Heh, that’s pretty funny! Can you let me go now?
I knew Mom was full of it….harmless my a$$!
Thank goodness you are a vegetarian!
Welcome to my nightmare!
Wow, this is awkward. I didn’t realize this was a costume party.
“This would be funny if life wasn’t so sacred.”
(From the original 1958 The Fly.)
“Hi! I’m Steve, your new roommate.”
“Never mind, but I don’t think it’s good for me if we stick together!
Super Size Me?
Just my luck…here comes Aunt Flo.
Your dating profile said you had an interest in entomology but this seems a little obsessive.
..and I ask you, smartass, which came first the spider or the fly?
Hey, chicka, my parents are gone for the weekend, so I got the house for myself: wanna meet up IRL?
Your hour glass appears empty. Our time is up. I must be going now.
Well that’s the last time you’ll catch me stopping to smell the roses!
Really? You are arachnophobic too? I would have never guessed….
You’ve been a wonderful host, but you should eat that fly.
I guess I’m late for trick or treat.
Hey buddy, a little help here? I seem to be stuck.
[chicken] Seriously? YOU are vegetarian?
[CAPTION] YET ANOTHER FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT
“And it’s all your fault, I screen my phone calls..”… No Doubt… really? does not ring a bell?
1. Are you familiar with Doug Savage’s “How to Cure Your Arachnophobia?”
2. Newsflash, buddy: everyone thought you were creepier as a clown!
3. Zombie apocalypse survival training. Three weeks wasted!
1) “Don’t look at me like that, I was gonna share the fly with you.”
2) “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries but…It might be time for another leg wax.”
3) “You heard him wrong, “Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz” means eat me FIRST.”
4) “I knew changing my name to ‘Gulliver’ would end poorly.”
I like “Dia de Los Muertos” personally.. I am just surprised you like “Saint Patrick’s Day” best…
How many times do I have to tell you I really don’t “taste like chicken” because this is my costume!
-or-
…and that’s when I realized pushing the button for local web access was not at all what I assumed it was…
-or-
Augh! I thought signing up for the reality show “Hanging Out and Eating” would be different than this…
-or-
Worst experience of 2012: Keeping your New Year’s resolution to overcome your Arachnophobia.
-or-
When Prod3000 said “Lunch with a new vendor”, I was thinking steak, not chicken!
I do see it has great location, but just not sure this is what me and my family were looking for…
This is why chickens shouldn’t cross the road!
“cross the rode they said. get to the other side they said.”
“it’s just myth! flies do not taste like chicken!”
“ok frank, you got this, act casual”
“next time just send me a calendar invite”
What do you mean you don’t know if flies taste like chicken YET? You eat flies every… oh.
I was thinkin’… wouldn’t we be more comfortable at MY place?
Variations on alectrophobia (fear of chickens):
1) “So this is the way you are going to cure your alectrophobia?”
2) “I presume you don’t suffer from alectrophobia, right?”
3) “Did you ever heard of alectrophobia? It rocks!”
Shrink rays are not toys.
Wow! 3D TV was totally worth it!
good one! 🙂
1)”Hello everybody! My name is Garry and I’m an alcoholic..”
2) O Romeo, Romeo! Why are you “Romeo?”
3) Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I’m pregnant, and that’s your baby!
“I take your 8 legs and raise you a pecker..”
“I’m not leaving until I see a trick!”
Web App. Ha. Ha. I get it….Ok, you can now let me go. Really.
If I make it to the center it’s safe, right?
I am here for the SEO conference.
Listen up crabcakes, or i’ll flick a shaft in your eye.
I’ve lost my wife.
Mr. Fruitfly, it’s right in your price range, and the views are amazing. Oh, and here’s the contractor!
What do you mean, trick or trick? That’s so 2010.
Hello Mr. Goliath Birdeater,
(my name is David and) I just dropped my slingshot would you mind picking it up? Please…
You’re so intense, yet… Oh my, I never thought speed dating could be like this.
Look, I know it’s *your* parlor, but they’re gonna bust you for false advertising if you keep this up!
Spiderchick, Spiderchick,
Does what ever a spiderchick does.
Can I swing, from a web?
No I can’t, I’m a chick.
Look out, I’m a spiderchick
…. so then the other chicken says, “Why *did* the spider cross the web?”
“Don’t bother man, my friends say I have no taste at all!”
“Timmy Tofu! I hardly recognized you in that costume!”
The octochicken will save me once it comes down from its own web.
What is this, compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live?
Inspirational Reject Message #888
Thousands of people have made millions on the Web.
– … and THAT’s how you catch a fly!
– Let’s get ready to the ruuuuuuuuuumble!
– As your couple’s therapist, I’d rather see you in my office
– Two against one, you better run bully!
– Dibs on the fly!
– Brains! Brains! (legend: why Zombie chicken shouldn’t wear living chicken costume)
– Soooo…. which useless mutant are you?
Wait Charlotte – I owe Wilbur $20 and he’ll never forgive you if you eat me now!
– What would Happy Bear do?
You were right, it feels like I’m flying at last!
Super Tree, help me!
You didn’t know I could fly, did you?
I’m not the meal you’re looking for….
I am _so_ thrilled to be on “Dancing with the Spiders!”
“300 eggs at a time!? Girl, that’s just CRAZY!”
Note to self: If get out alive, change brand of spider repellent.
So do you prefer Black Widow, or African American Self Empowered Woman?
I expected something different from “Trick”
Wow, I can’t believe you made this place with your butt!
nice wallpaper!
i believe the herb you’re looking for is rosemary!
“again?”
“i can’t believe i found my long lost brother! so what did you do after the egg?”
I thought we were supposed to arrange a “safe word” before you tied me up, Madame Shelob.
So, tell me about your secret world domination plan!
Really! Dr. Brundle said we could all fit in the machine.
Boy this phobia treatment is intense!
Good evening, sir. Would you care to try our fly selection?
Just out of curiosity, are you more afraid of me than I am of you?
Ok I’m in your parlour, now what?
No, my young have never tried to devour me.
I bet the rain making the waterpipe slippery feels like ground hog day.
There’s never a road when you need one!
Trick it is then!
So you see… she swallowed the spider to catch the fly… then swallowed the chicken to get spider lick’n… not the other way around…
Vorshtein?
“I look good today. I look great today! I look MIGHTY FINE today!”
Title: Ignorance is bliss when you’re a narcissist.
…when first we practise to deceive.
“Sweet! Now I’m just one degree from William Shatner!”
It’s very seldom I get to geek so hard as to make a Kingdom of the Spiders reference.
I love Kingdom of the Spiders! I even own a vintage paperback of the “novelization” (!) 🙂
I love what you’ve done with your parlor! Ooh, are those hangings silk?
Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy.
“and then the spider and the little fly lived happily ever after”
Who me? Couldn’t be…
The fly stole the cookie from the cookie jar…
So Doug said “I’m gonna draw you going to work in this one,” and I said “You !@*#ing jerk!” So, here we are!
That’s it, closer, closerrrrr, soon I’ll have lunchhhhh
“Awww babe, I could never leave you!”
“Ok, but the fly watching us makes me a little nervous”.
You wanna split that last fly?
“I’m guessing that by ‘treat’ you didn’t mean ‘candy’, then…”
Caption 1: I loved you in “Krull”.
Caption 2: Oh no. There’s an icky fly right behind me, isn’t there?
No, really – ANYONE can do the chicken dance. C’mon.. nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh!
“Waiter….there’s a fly in my soup.”
“Pie? Pie? I’d love some pie, thank you so much for offering!”
“Dammit, I love you Martha. I don’t care about your husband. Mate with me and then kill me and eat me…it’s meant to be!”
“Ok, let’s go over this one more time…your husband came home late…he started to force himself on you and grew angry when you wouldn’t comply so in self defense you…oh wait…there’s another fly…”
“You’re right there is another fly. Wow, it’s like you have some kind of “sense” that I don’t have or something.”
“You’re getting sleepy, very sleepy”
“Perhaps I should’ve specified I was not the treat!”
“Are you here for the flies too?”
Stick around for dinner? Sure!
Despite my arachnophobia, this is preferable to watching yet another presidential debate.
Trick or Treeeattheflyandnotmeeeeet
“Don’t be a chicken!”
With this spider costume, I’m totally going to win the costume contest this year.
Darn. I should’ve never crossed that road!
‘I’m not sure houseflies qualify as “treats”‘
Can you just close your eyes, I’d rather not see myself get decapitated in 8 different angles!
This is the most lifelike website I’ve ever visited!
STOP IT! I’ve got a wife and small eggs!
If you think this can hold me, remember that I recently escaped from Romney’s web of lies
Quick Doug, draw me some bug-spray!
Great costume Timmy. Goes well with this web I put up for Halloween.
No, I swear — Hobbits taste BETTER than chicken!
i just need to put a parking ticket and will be riiiight back!
Oh great – now I’ve got crabs.
I’m looking for a Miss Muffet…
“C’mon, you’re not that bad… Are you sure you’re going to do this?”
or
“Ungoliant, is that you?…”
TITLE: TRICK OR TREAT?
If I do a funny trick, you promise me I won´t be your treat?
Simone Camillo, Ribeirão Preto, SP, Brazil.
“Ha! You can’t suck the life out of me, my ex-wife already did!”
“Alright, I get it. Your costume is realistic”
“You do WHAT to your mate?”
In this scene I want you to envision you are eating lunch but, act it out like you are in a Hitchcock feature
“Hey four eyes!”
“Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.”
“Say, why’s this stuff sticky anyway?”
“De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne – oh, wait, that’s Batman.”
“So how many boxes of cookies did you want to buy?”
“So do you know Shelob?”
“We do look great… but this suit itches. Next year I am the butterfly and you are the cocoon.”
“C’mon… don’t be rush! I can get more candy in a minute!”
So…what’s for dinner?
So I thought I’d ask a professional, Maguire or Garfield?
“The fly probably tastes better! Heck, it probably tastes like chicken!”
I really need to read the fineprint on those dating websites…..
Wow, the new Spiderman movie is so realistic!
“Curse these sticky notes!”
“This actually was in the brochure. I’ve been trying to grab life by the balls lately.”
Sorry to bug you at dinnertime, but I’m selling magazine subscriptions to earn a class trip. Whaddya say, can you help me out?
This is really going to impress the geologists in 140 million years!
Hahaha, and we used to have more horses and bayonets!
Title: Presidential debate through the eyes of Stephen King
You don’t want me, everything tastes like chicken! But have you ever had a worm? I can dig one up for you…
You must think I’m so naive
A chicken and a spider can’t conceive!
Oh what a tangled web we’d weave!
(It’s really time for me to leave)
Don’t look at me that way! You asked me and they do make you look fat!
or
In my last dream YOU tasted just like chicken…
You have Alektorophobia?
An irrational fear of chickens?
Buddy, you’ll never believe this coincidence…
Yeah, he told me it would be cool if I just showed up.
Did you say there is a bug when you try to surf the web?
you do know i have been on heroin for quite some time don’t you ?
“Nature in 3D, it’s so life like! Best movie ever!!”
Augh! I told them at the costume shop that I wanted to go 1980s retro and be “Webster!” I want my money back!
don’t eat me, I taste like human
you can eat me, or I could help you catching the fly
don’t eat me, I taste like chicken
colonel sanders is going to sue you
“So… come here often?”
Caption: Poor places to meet new people
“Believe it or not, I don’t actually taste like chicken.”
“Oh waiter, there’s a fly in my web.”
Damn. I really thought I was going to just walk into Mordor.
The calls are coming from INSIDE the web!
Maybe this is why chickens don’t fly…
Why, oh, why did I cross that road? Why, oh, why, oh, why?
You seriously have not seen “Arachnophobia”? Best movie with your kind ever! Is it ok that I said “your kind”? Sorry. Hope that not came across as offensive. I just get all excited when talking about Frank Marshal movies. Genius! Right? Am I right? You seem distant…
aha! I’ve caught you in my chicken web….
I’m telling you for the last time…No money, no fly. That’s the deal.
Mr Sanders, there must be another way to create eight legged chickens?
Boy, i’ve got myself in a sticky situation.
Aw c’mon, you don’t want feathers stuck between your teeth, do you?
What? Zombies are suddenly out this year?
“I don’t know how you do it… it took me *forever* to make this web!”
My friend says that you’re the weirdest roomie I’ve ever had
Eat more Cow!!!
Eat more beef!!!
And the itsy bitsy spider went where?
I wish Al Gore hadn’t invented the web.
“What came first, the spider or the web?”
Have you seen Miss Muffet? I heard that eggs were the new curds and whey.
Come and get me big guy. Let’s play a game of chicken!
“So you’ll be needing four knives and four forks?”
Your costume is a little extreme.
The Hangover 5.0
What the &^%$# happened last night??!! Hey Phil, am I missing a tooth??
lol
So… remember that time I let you live?
That fly got you trapped here to, huh?
When I count to three… you’ll start acting like a chicken
“Can i at least call my mom first so she doesn’t worry?”
“And Grandma, what a big abdomen you have!”
“So Galissa was all like ‘psh!’ and i was like ‘Ugh!’ ”
“You know what’s sad? this isn’t even the worst date i’ve had”
“Look Uncle Roy, this was funny when i was like 5, but now it’s just annoying”
“And all this time we were preparing for a zombie apocalypse, who knew it would be giant spiders instead!”
The light of Eärendil is just a firefly?
“I…um…brought you this fly!”
Well at least we know the Hurricane Sandy emergency one way teleport works!
Really? A webcomic? You don’t think that’s a bit cliché?
EAT MOR FLIEZ! EAT MOR FLIEZ!
It DOES leave the bugs out, but don’t you have other patterns?
Don’t fall for it, it’s a pyramid scheme.
The old woman wants you to eat the fly, and then I’m supposed to eat you.
We need to find a way out of here before she swallows a cat.
Why does your back look like a set of asses?
“I taste better fried”
You call that continental breakfast?
And this is the master bedroom.
Well yes, you are adopted.
She does not want to talk to you now
Well, I have to say that: I am your Father!!!
Wait! I can teach you la tarantula! I mean, tarantella! Oh…
Wait! Maybe the Dingo ate your baby!
– No chicken for YOU!!!
– Get out! My real name is Chichen Norris!
C’mon Boss… I think you’ve taken this whole Peter Parker costume a bit too far now.
Didn’t you work with Vincent Price once? It was William Shatner…oh…my bad.
In over 15 years of surfing the web this has never happened to me before…
“This isn’t what I expected when you invited me over for dinner.”
Hey, did you know that your web is only sticky on the other side?
Well, you don’t look like your Match.com profile picture either.
“But still she was there, who was there before Harper, and before the first stone of Vancouver; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Chicken and HappyTrees, bloated and grown fat with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness… Ahhhh”
Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!
Hey no fair! When your profile said you are into “spending time on the web, dimly lit dinners and dabbling in bondage”, you sounded awesome…
Excuse me, could you please lend me a hand for a second?
got WI-FI?
sorry, no kiss on first day
can I get a cup of coffe?
I should have buyed that gps
*no kiss on first date
Thank goodness! Help has arrived! We’ve been stuck here for hours!
I think you should eat that fly up there instead of me. I hear they taste like chicken!
Hey spider – time’s fun when you’re having flies! *Sigh* I’m going to die…
I’m coming down with Stockholm Syndrome – I understand now why you’re angry and holding me captive… it’s because you’re ugly!
Let’s share the last Fly and stay friends.
“So…do flies taste like, well, me?”
(The next one ages me a bit…)
“Your parlor really is quite beautiful, but I’ve got an early meeting so…..*Yawn*”
“I’ve been really tryin’ baby..
Tryin’ to hold back these feelings for so long…”
Fly had two margaritas. Guess it’s your lucky night!
Hey, we’re on in three! Try not to look so darn cute!
I’m here for my annual review. Why did the memo say to bring barbecue sauce?
Does this climbing gym have something to do with our new corporate wellness plan?
So you’re the new human resources director? Between you and me, we work for a bunch of blood-suckers.
Mind if I pin this web site to Pinterest? I think a lot of crafters will really love it!
“You’re trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson.”
– In theaters just in time for Halloween
… “The Gory-aduate”
DAMN, THEY SAID I’D BE FAMOUS ON WEB.
UHM…AREN’T YOU INTO FRENCH FLIES OR SOMETHING?
OK, BUT IF YOU BITE ME, YOU’LL BE GIVING ME A RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL.
I GUESS THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT MOMENT TO COMPLIMENT YOUR KNITTING.
YOU KNOW, MOST ARACHNOPHOBES END UP SECRETLY BEING SPIDERS THEMSELVES.
“You complete me.”
– Scary Maguire, a film by the director of Slay Anything and Almost Infamous
Thanks for inviting me! You have a beautiful parlor.
This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!
Title: Alternate ending #1 to Curse of the Black Pearl.
I said Trick or Treat!! I repeat Trick or Treat!! OK forget it, you keep the candy and I….. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
“I don’t always get stuck in spider webs, but when I do, it’s always the mutated arachnids that eat chicken.”
“This is a nice den you have here, but that fly is a bit cliche.”
I can’t fly. Not a fly. I can’t fly. Not a fly.
Of coarse I think you two make a great couple, I’m just not sure that the world is ready for a swam of “fliders” at this point
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!! Good one.
🙂
Nice fangs, do you sparkle too?
1) Don’t roll your eyes at me, honey. We can make this work!
2) For the therapy to work, you’ll have to LOOK at the fly… with ALL your eyes.
Trust me, this is not what your friends meant by “picking up chicks.”
Can you leave us alone for a second?
STOP! I taste exactly like chicken!
I must have mistyped the URL and landed in the strange corner of the web….
Chicken vs spider… It won’t end well for you, spidy! Say hello to your last Halloween.
Your fly is down.
Ahhhh, ummmm….Shoo?
You shall not pass!!
So you are a little hairy… don’t bother me none…
…so then the grasshopper says “you have drink named Bob?”
“I’m clucked!”