It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win the grand prize of:
- a signed copy of my Cat Adventures book
- a signed copy of my Savage Chickens book
- a set of three Lizard Pals buttons
- a set of three Cat Adventures buttons
And there will be two runner-up winners, who will both win a signed copy of the Cat Adventures book.
To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, tweet your answer, or send it to me via my contact form. Winners will be announced on Halloween!
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Your late partner says you have a tee-time with him for 8:00 am!
Colonel Sanders would like for you to join him for dinner.
Your great Uncle Yogi Berrachicken says, “Never count your chickens before they cross the road.”
Your cousin Louie says, “Eat mor cows!”
Spirits I compel thee. Obfuscate the cognizance of yonder ignorami!
Grant me the power to hoodwink them into relinquishing a plentiful of funds!
Ok guys, do you prefer Jack the Ripper, Freddy Krueger or Jack-o’-lantern?
I can’t remember why I am here!
“I see…
winners…
the winners of this contest, which have been announced five minutes ago!”
“i can only see a cat riding a roomba”
The spirits would like one large pizza with sausage and mushrooms,and one small with peppers and anchovies.
The spirit says he’s sure it’s not a mephitic emanation from the beyond!
“Oh honey! Even after death you complain about my seances… Can’t you follow the light and let us continue?”
“Your mother is here…yes…she is telling me…to go clean your apartment, it’s filthy.”
Sorry, sorry! That knocking was just the pizza delivery guy.
“Electricity should be back on any minute now..”
“His spirit isn’t available at this time- please leave a message at the moan”
Oh, great spirits, we who are about to be plucked salute you!
The spirits say the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about.
“I can see… yes… in an hours… you will be very dissapointed with my medium skills!”
“She said your car keys are behind the sofa…next!”
Where’s the remote, granny?
Spirits roam the night
Searching for lost chicken souls.
Don’t let them get yours.
They want to know why egg production is down.
They say, “If you hear ‘She’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain’, HIDE!”
Your Mother is here. She has a message for you… she says that you need to stay away from garlic and Red Wine.
It’s the spirit of the Great Pumpkin. Anybody here go by the name Linus?
According to those from beyond the grave, full power should be restored within the next hour.
“Is there someone here whose name begins with ‘Cluck’, or maybe ‘Baaaaah-uck’?”
For the third time, they say they don’t deliver pizza.
All-knowing spirits tell us
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Hello, you’ve reached the Zombies. I’m sorry, we are no longer answering calls from mediums. You can find us on the highway.
This time I know we will contact Houdini with my new Apple iBall 6+!
I see eggcellent things in your future…
I was going to give you guys your fortunes, but this bandana hurts too much to think
Poultry futures look promising. Unfortunately, predators are aware of this prediction.
Ohhh..Uhmmm..Your boss is here and asks you to leave the seance and go finish your project,fellas.
It’s time to clip your wings and fly!
I sense a strange pecking order in the room…
I smell giblets and gravy. Grandpa, is that you???
Parrot must be sitting on the aerial again because I’m getting nothing on this thing!
Jack Sparrow here, me wants me compass back…mahahaha
Spirits! We must know! Which came first the chicken or the egg?!
I sense a strong presence… wait, never mind I’m just getting a text from my mom.
“‘Arrr, arrr arrr’, methinks I’m just getting static”
Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing to these bilge rats amassed at this plank. Smartly now!
or, slightly altered: “Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing to yonder bilge rats amassed at this plank. Smartly now!”
or, shorter: “Avast, ye insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing! Smartly now!”
or maybe: “Avast, yonder insubstantial scurvies! Start blabbing! Smartly now!”
“I see…. a speech bubble.”
Entry 1:
“Ok, who invited the gigantic pigeon?”
Entry 2:
“Should the baby be flying and spitting green stuff right now?”
Entry 3:
“In the future, somebody will remember to pay the eletric bill”
Entry 4:
“Do you thing the big dynamite above can be a problem with this candle?”
Entry 5:
“The dead tell mee… Clung, clung ooohhhh clung, uuuuhhhhh, clung chung!”
“Harold? Harold, are you there? Please tell us once and for all. WHY did you cross the road?”
(with a pop-up ad drawn in) Message from beyond will continue in 15 seconds.
“No guys, that noise was just the roof…i think…”
Behold the mysterious and ghostly Comic Sans appearing above our heads.
That’s no Angel…….that’s a Hawk!
Together, we shall call those who have crossed the road… to the other side.
I am sensing something most fowl.
or
He was a very bad egg
Oh Great Aunt Betsey, Why DID you cross the road?
“This broadcast is brought to you in part by Azazel’s Non-Melt Ice Cream. 31 flavours that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell”
(actually, Beelzebub rings better, so:)
“This broadcast is brought to you in part by Beelzebub’s Non-Melt Ice Cream. 31 flavours that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell”
“I see…the electric company not getting the power back on for 6 more hours.”
The power will come back on in 31 seconds.
The number for the Swiss bank account was in the breast pocket of the jacket you buried me in.
Your scuadualed to play short stop for heavens basebal team on thursday
The spirits are revealing to me a tan Corolla parked in front of a fire hydrant. They come with a grave warning: the owner will be ticketed.
“The spirits are telling me to first tone down my Jack Sparrow impersonation.”
dear spirit, We must all know, in the afterlife do you float around like a chicken with your head cut off?
“he says you should have put a ring on it”
Your mother wants to know: Did she leave the iron on?
“Spiritual Speech Balloon, are you with us?”
Was your grandfather in the army? I’m getting something about serving with Colonel Sanders.
Spirit of Douglas Savage, we beseech thee…
Hey! Keep it down up there! We’re tryin’ to have a seance!
Ooh! Ectoplasmic speech bubble! We’ve contacted the ghost of a dead cartoonist!
We’re fine, Ma! Just go back upstairs and close the door!
It’s the spirit of your first goldfish, Matilda. She says, “When are you going to feed me?”
It’s your Great Aunt Polly… She wants… a cracker…
Entry 1
Was it Professor Plum in the library with the lead pipe?
Entry 2
You said you were killed by giant pepper pots demanding to know the location of the Doctor…Doctor who?
She’s looking for Obi Wan, he’s her only hope
This question is for Harold. Marjorie wants to know where you put the Thanksgiving wreath and don’t say in the garage because she already looked there.
And the ghostly speech bubble was finally put to rest when the artist was able to add the punch line.
I must say that I am really, really disappointed by the new version of the iBall
I told you there was a ghost living in my mouth!
(To all participants: The crystal ball on the table looks like a snow globe to me. Any idea of a joke referring to this resemblance?) 🙂
Even after brain surgery all I can see is that damn string stretching off to infinity!
… and if you look right at it, you can watch the words appear right as I say them!
Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ghost…happy birthday to you
Well guys, the crystal ball tells me that the winner is YF.
what the…if this is my bowling ball, where’s my crystal ball?
I’m sorry, I can only contact ghost pirates
What do you mean “the line is busy”?!?
Ok, now everybody look up! If we do not make eye contact, maybe this one-eyeball mini-monster on the table will just roll away…
Your cat says the “nine lives” thing was a myth and you should not have tested it.
“So, we’re all going to be crushed by a falling elephant, a few seconds from now? Um … is there anybody *else* out there?”
Before we start… #halloween #possession #Gypsy
The interrupting cow!
*Top ten knock knock jokes for the other side.
I see an old man in a white suit with a pointy beard…
🙂
For all of you I see… eventual death!
#accuratepredictions
#ThankYouCaptainObvious
I more clearly see the great ball from which all life flows, and glimpse which I can only imagine are the hairy knuckles of an ape.
“you have reached the voicemail of George, I’m currently out of my grave but please leave a message and a contact medium and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. beep!” 🙂
Oh great spirit from beyond the grave, your wife has a dire need to know, Where did you leave the tv remote?
“Rosebud”? Again with the “rosebud”?
What do you mean my crystal ball needs a software upgrade?!
I got him! Steve? Steve? You forgot to tell us how to make the birthday cake recipe, Steve…
I, the great and all knowing Lilian the Candle call to the great candles of the past! …please don’t mind the chickens around the table…
“And now a word from our sponsor: There’s ice-cream in your future at Azazel’s Non-Melt Ice Cream Parlor. 31 flavors that will make your mouth burn. Stores in all major circles of Hell.”
(being an arguably improved version of my entry, earlier today)
For the last time, No this is NOT a pirate costume!
“Brains, brains!”. Sorry, undead wavelength interference.
“We are experiencing unusually high call volumes. Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly.”
“13 more likes from purgatory for your latest post, Emily”
or: “Emily, you have 13 new followers from purgatory”
No loved ones this time. Everybody wants to talk with Robin Williams.
Oink, Oink, Sooie, Yippie Yo. Oh sorry, wrong number.
It’s not a ghost. It’s just a speech bubble.
The 80s say they want their hair back.
“I hear his voice clearly… he says he was served extra crispy.”
“It’s the ghost of Colonel Sanders! RUN!!”
“The medium is the message?” What does that even mean?
“Ok, $10 says they won’t blow out the candle”
SCREEEEEEEE— CACHUNG! Oops, sorry folks, I think we contacted their fax machine.
The crystal ball will now tell us how to split the bill plus tip.
The next winner of American Idol will be…
I foresee…an overdose of pumpkin spice in your future.
“Eenie meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak!”
Y’know, I actually be pirate, yarr. The medium be actually the one on the other side right now.
Other chicken: “She can only channel Marcel Marceau”
They’re saying they don’t do voice calls any more. Text only.
“Yes, Yes, Not a chance in hell, Behind the couch in an old sock, and Yup, those are your chicks…. and now the questions…”
Relax, that’s only broken light bulb. I didn’t started yet.
Sorry about that walking the plank thing. Would you please tell us where you hid the treasure map?
Don’t try to cross the road, he says.
She’s trying to cross over but can’t get to the other side.
They claim the spiritual super highway is too busy to cross over.
You can’t be Elvis – everyone knows that he’s alive and well and will be playing Santa at Sears.
Apparently he’s seen what’s on the other side and it’s not worth crossing over.
That’s right, Frank, walk gently across that last road to get to the other side.
“I wish those upstairs neighbours would be quieter and wouldn’t rock this table all the time!”
Best, Antonio
PS: Doug, do you participate in movember?
Spirits, what is this 404 error of which you speak? We don’t understand.
Spirit of Patrick Swayze come to me so we can go to your bank and get me three million dollars!
Spirit of Patrick Swayze come to me so we can go to your bank to get three million dollars
They say to send more Chuck Berry.
Alright, let’s all sing happy birthday to aunt Freda now
“Make money off your fortune with AdSendz”
The spirits say, “Beware of pirates disguised as gypsies.”
We’re all dying to know – Why did the chicken cross to the other side?
The upcoming season of “The Bachelor” will be the MOST DRAMATIC season EVER!
And Last Weeks winning lottery numbers are:
Dwayne… it’s your mother… Do you have a girlfriend yet?
There! You got to the other side! Are you happy now?
Crispy… Crispy… Original… Fox… Old age. Got it.
Can you be more specific than “the chicken must die”?
Um…can you elaborate on the “kill the chicken” statement?
Spirits from beyond… what is the WI-FI password?!
🙂
No no, that’s not the ghost. Only a speech bubble.
Snekcihc eht llik??
That’s just plain weird.
“Claire? Claire Voyant? Is that you?”
“We are using the crystal ball today because last’s attempt forecast using raw chicken nearly got me lynched”
“Colonel Sanders. Calling Mr Sanders…”
“Birds of a Feather seance together”
“Somewhere above us right now is a hungry spider…”
You guys were right, a plutonium ball works MUCH better than a Crystal Ball…
She says forget the seance, I’m still alive and stuck in my coffin.
“He’s saying there’s nothing to be afraid of. ‘You see a light, go through a long tunnel, then land in a really warm bath. After that, it’s a waterslide ride with lots of twists and turns.’ He loves you all. His voice is getting fainter….”
Welcome to the meeting of gullibles
This is spooky! I can see every word I say. I swear that’s never happened before.
Great party. The power’s gone, the only food is a jawbreaker and no one else dressed up.
Oops, wrong ball. I just got back from my bowling league.
Hello operator?
They seem to want your brains…. Oh wait, wrong channel
Argh! Why me hearty, is there a crystal ball at the dinner party?
forget the seance, she faked her death
She wants to know your chemistry grade first
sorry, she isn’t available right now
She says not to trust greedy mediums
I see an empty wallet soon in your future, that’ll be $100
“I see death for all of you, but especially you Harry”
(heading: another class with professor Trelawney)
“I see you all in a class taught by a horse-man, next year”
(heading: another class with Professor Trelawney)
…And now a word from their sponsers
Whenever I get a good connection, there’s a power outage… hmmm…
Uncle Jim says to avoid the country
She says there’ll be a cock in the hen house… or is it…cook in the hen house? Either way, your fate is sealed.
Siri, call to the afterlife office
This place is not haunted, your neighbors from above are pirates
She says the farmer raided the hen house for dinner again
I can’t read anything in your hands, they’re not hands…..
Sorry, I read palms, not claws
“The spirits say that this visit is non-tax refundable.”
I see…I see us all a year from now entering another contest.
Is that you…Patrick Swayze?!
Oh, I just got a text from one of them… Hold on, it says “brains”
Heading: new methods
She says not to cross the road
Just because she “flew the coop” doesn’t mean she died!
I can’t tell who to call because of your chicken scratch
She was chicken hearted when the farmer came out
“Ain’t nobody here but us chickens,”
Yes, I can predict the future!You see… I just won the Savage Chickens Halloween Contest…
“You will die shortly after seeing that Ikea has a sale on vampire stakes”
The WIFI password is “chickens”…if that helps.
The WIFI password is “chickmagnet1″…if that helps.
What? Tell Marge to update your Facebook status?
He says: “On the plus side, the cubicles are bigger.”
He wants to know how ‘Breaking Bad’ ended.
I sense a terrible spirit, one called Coronel Sanders
Oh no, I’m not a fortune teller, I’m a pirate.
I’m sorry, but… did you say carrrrr or barrrrr?
“The spirits are trying to speak… wait… RANDY stop farting!”
1. Message from the Great Chicken Nugget in the sky….the egg came first.
2. Feeeeeed meeeeeeeee Seymour!
3. Knock knock
Who’s there?
The BIg
The BIg who?
THe big chicken pie in the sky.
I see a Darwin award in our futures… how interesting
She says “Don’t pay the medium! I’m still updating Facebook”
He says crossing over isn’t so bad, except for all the jokes he has to endure.
Nothing so far. Guess I’m more average than medium
I can’t believe we all wore chicken costumes to this seance!
“Oh great spirit, can you tell us: is there really a Doug?”
He says to let you know about my “preferred peeps” discount on all future readings!
I’m sure it’s pronounced “Sey-on-say”. Yes. Just like the singer.
I don’t think you get it… you have no finger for me to pull anymore!
So there is only only ONE true religion out there, and EVERYONE else is doomed?! And you are not allow to spoil it? …Bummer!
Well that’s new…
Yes, I’m wearing your scarf. You didn’t need it after death, and you can’t moon me from there, anyway! 😛
“She says the lottery numbers are…”
Argh mateys! I think you’ve got this all wrong, I’m a pirate, I just got back from Thursday night bowling with me crew
He says it was the egg first, then the chicken
Probably too late, but I’ll share anyway:
urrrr EEEE urrr NNNGGGG CRRRRcrrrr KEEEEEEE grrr nnnnnng — It’s the only way to connect.His spirit is still on dial-up.
Panel Title: Conjuring Barry Manilow
Bubble Text: Spirit moves me…every time I see you…could this be the magic that lasts?
“I have to wait 5 more seconds to skip the ad”
Ah, it was murder most FOWL!
Sir Galahad will you be joining us today?
Seems like no one is at home on Halloween.
Seems like everyone is out trick or treating.
Oh Great Pumpkin…where are you??
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Arr…I should’ve paid the electric bill.
I see a romantic lunch in your future. A man and woman having a fried chicken lunch by a stream.
The first thing that came to my mind isn’t exactly fitting to this date, but rather to TLAPD:
Oh me scurvy pirate great-great-grandfather, when will I be eligible for me own eye patch?
For today:
Goodbye friends, it has been … Oh no, the ogre on the first floor cut the power line again!
or:
And my zombie neighbors above PROMISED to mute their breakfast before eating it alive!
What the heck does bwak mean?
The crystal ball and the fire spirits don’t agree about the future. Whose guts are we going to pick?
(bubble stays blank, this goes to bottom of frame)
* he says he still hasn’t broken his vow of silence
Your domestication has made your beaks soft, while my feril nature has kept me a hard survivalist. Johnson, please flip off the lights for the slide show.