Halloween Contest 2016

It’s my annual Halloween Contest! Complete this cartoon and you could win the Grand Prize:

Grand Prize 2016

And I’ll also give away two more signed books as Runner-up Prizes. To enter the contest, tell me what the chicken is saying in the above cartoon. You can add your entry (or entries) to the comments here, or post your answer on Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or Pinterest or Google+. Or send it to me the old fashioned way via my contact form. Winners to be announced on Halloween!

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151 Responses to Halloween Contest 2016

  1. Mike says:

    He’s dead, Jim!

  2. Ant says:

    “I’m Batman.”

  3. Ricardo Mano says:

    I have some bats to exchange!

  4. RonZ says:

    I got a chocolate covered cease-and-desist from DC Comics!

  5. Carlos Carneiro says:

    Entry 1:”Do you have dead parents in your bag?”

    Entry 2: “If people don’t give me candy I throw them throough the window. And you?”

    Entry 3: “I’m not wearing a costume,”

  6. Rob says:

    Mmm…I could replace Robin with him!

  7. Rob says:

    Alfred filled my bag with delicious bat-flavored biscuits

  8. Ubi Dubium says:

    Yes I realize that you’re Spock playing Hamlet. But “Batman and Spocklet”? Really?

  9. Super says:

    ‘They asked me who I was… I really hit rock bottom this year’

  10. Nega-Pi says:

    “Oh sorry, we must have mistaken the bags. That one is mine.”

  11. Lobster says:

    “Would you _please_ put that thing back in its bag? You’re not Hamlet!”

  12. Lizzie May says:

    “Well it’s not Misha Collins.”

  13. Beth Cosker says:

    not what I meant when I said we would be doing skull crushers in our workout tomorrow Gary.

  14. Beth Cosker says:

    That’s a new one! I still stand by the tree shaped ones though. They just have a better peanut butter to chocolate ratio.

  15. Joseph Whirry says:

    Red shirt huh? Well nice knowing you…

  16. “Welp, that’s the fifth house in a row to give us all ‘Nerds’, I’m sensing a theme.”

  17. Darlene says:

    I got a rock.

  18. What? A “Sugar Daddy”? Real sensitive, Mrs. Johnson!

  19. Michel says:

    Hey cutie, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

  20. Chirikomori says:

    Last time we go to Hamlet’s house.

  21. Josefine says:

    I heard ‘Klingons do not… pursue relationships. They conquer that which they desire’, huh?! So what’s the what?

  22. Allen's Brain says:

    I got a rock. (Had to be said)

  23. Joseph Whirry says:

    Set your phaser to stun and we’ll make out like bandits.

  24. Allen's Brain says:

    Stickers! “Vote for–” Aw, Man!

  25. Allen's Brain says:

    What kind of sicko gives out dead chicken head hand puppets?

  26. Allen's Brain says:

    Now remember: It’s “Trick or treat!” not “Have you heard the good news about the Great Pumpkin?”

  27. Allen's Brain says:

    Mr & Mrs Yorrick give out weird candy!

  28. Allen's Brain says:

    I TOLD you Mbogu’s Voodoo Lounge gave out great stuff! Wasn’t that our 3rd grade teacher?

  29. Allen's Brain says:

    Trick-or-treating at General Tso’s house always gives me the creeps! Let’s try Col Sanders’ place next!

  30. Allen's Brain says:

    Haha! Now make him say, “Gimme some sugar, Baby!”

  31. Allen's Brain says:

    “Captain Kirk performing Hamlet”?! You’re a very weird chick, Gertrude!

  32. Allen's Brain says:

    No, I don’t think they’ll give an extra treat for him. Nice try, though.

  33. Allen's Brain says:

    Cool! Hey! Where’d your sister go?

  34. Allen's Brain says:

    Well, what kind of moron sees if they can fit their whole fist inside a skull? You’ll just have to wait til we get home.

  35. Joseph Whirry says:

    I’m a crime fighter, not a miracle worker.

  36. Sam says:

    I got lots of Reece’s Pieces, you want some?

  37. Joseph Whirry says:

    Keep calm, Tricorder readings indicate that it is… plastic.

  38. Elizabeth says:

    Jim, I am a vigilante not a miracle worker!

  39. leeisme says:

    Guano trade?

  40. Dan says:

    You got a Chicken skull?!? All I got was a rock…

  41. Rob Parkhill says:

    I got a rock.

  42. (Random Chicken) Gavin says:

    Come on man! Cybernetic arms shouldn’t run on Vista.

  43. (Random Chicken) Gavin says:

    Okay I’ll stall while you grab the candy basket.

  44. pera says:

    your hand puppet companion got the costume as well?

  45. Bill H. says:

    Just another one of those hippie granola and guano bars.

  46. (Random Chicken) Gavin says:

    Alas! Poor Romeo, looking for candy to get his head ripped off by a deadly foe.

  47. CWilliams says:

    Was that awkward trick or treating at your boss’s house?

  48. Joseph Whirry says:

    Don’t look so shocked, he chose to wear a red shirt.

  49. Joseph Whirry says:

    Was that a trick or a treat?!..

  50. Joseph Whirry says:

    Just fix him Bones, the procedure should be simple.

  51. Branden says:

    “He must have been wearing the red costume”
    “Hamlet never said ‘Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra'”
    “I don’t think that will get you twice the candy”

  52. Beth Cosker says:

    Sweet! You got a regular size!

  53. Machtyn says:

    “I’ll give you this batarang for that tricorder.”

  54. Jeff Rogers says:

    Dang. Joker’s handing out candy corn again this year.

  55. Pam says:

    No puppet. No puppet. You’re the puppet!

  56. MsMolly says:

    “A single episode from the original series? You’ve taken nerddom to a new level!”

  57. Deirdre O'Brien says:


  58. Deirdre O'Brien says:

    Dude! I can introduce you to a really good proctologist

  59. Matthew says:

    Option 1: “It’s not the nutrition we deserve, but the candy we need.”

    Option 2: “That pumpkin didn’t need his body anyway. Can I have an arm??”

  60. Chris Guerra says:

    “Lucky! I only got a torso.”

  61. rrubo says:

    “You got the wrong orphan.”

  62. Howard says:

    Why are the eyes on your fish so far back?

  63. Kathleen says:

    This is the last year I go to the Invisible Man’s house. He just pretends to give us invisible candy.

  64. Joseph Whirry says:

    Yeah, looks like you have a new guy on the transporter controls.

  65. Eitan says:

    “I look stupid in a Batman costume? Well at least I’m not walking around in a Star Wars uniform… “

  66. Ashley B says:

    Oh yuck. Raw chicken … All over the candies

  67. Ashley B says:

    Stop making that thing say ‘Trek or Tweet’.

  68. Ashley B says:

    It ate all our candies?

  69. Uzma says:

    “Alas, poor Yorick! Maybe with that Star Trek costume he might get less tricks and more treats this year.”

  70. Matt says:

    I didn’t think you meant heads would ACTUALLY roll if anyone gave out pennies again.

  71. Matt Dunn says:

    “Let’s skip the next block, I hear that Sarlacc guy never gives out any good treats.”

  72. Ashley B says:

    Ha ha. I love the way you make it blame Scotty for its current predicament

  73. Kira says:

    Batman: “Do you want to check my candy for poison?”
    Red shirt: “Okay!”

  74. Joe Vince says:

    Wow, you got one of those Indiana Jones chocolate skulls with the raspberry brain filling?

  75. Pavel says:

    I think the phaser prop wasn’t made in China

  76. Pavel says:

    Scotty, I think you missed something

  77. Carson says:

    I told Robin that he was technically a red-shirt…

  78. willwot says:

    You know your friend would probably do better grabbing candy if he did’t have his hand stuck where it is!

  79. Beth cosker says:

    What a numbskull.

  80. Beth cosker says:

    Not really what I had in mind when you said you had a bone to pick.

  81. Beth cosker says:

    The email said we were supposed to bring spare ribs!

  82. Peter says:

    “The Lecter house always gives out the strangest treats”

  83. jezkasdad says:

    It seems to be bat guano!

  84. Mele says:

    “My parents are coming as zombies!”

  85. Jordan Simons says:

    Hunh…apparently the Commander Troi slash Captain Picard costume DOES get you double candy…

  86. Jordan Simons says:

    Well I’ll be damned. Apparently adding Picard to your costume DID get you double candy!

  87. Marscaleb says:

    …Are you gonna eat that?

  88. Ashley B says:

    Isn’t Pacman meant to be eating the ghost, not the other way round

  89. Pavel says:

    The treats from the Addams family are getting worse by the year

  90. Capt Andy says:

    Still nothing! Post Brexit effect,’you think?

  91. Clark Williams says:

    You know you’re only supposed to put candy in there, right?

  92. Oana says:

    Jesus, how old is that egg?

  93. Beth Cosker says:

    Dang! I forgot to feed Furby…17 years ago.

  94. Ovidiu says:

    is that… Candy?

  95. Oana says:

    I think this will be my last performance. I’m really not enjoying this modern take on Shakespeare.

  96. Michel says:

    “Ugh, this is indeed bad – man”

  97. Linda says:

    What do you mean by “Nevermore”?

  98. Michel says:

    Looks like u got Mr. Pengiun? Let’s swap – I got Commander Worf’s

  99. Tom Rottmayer says:

    Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horroratio!

  100. Noony Tune says:

    All I got was some more stale plotlines.

  101. Jen Kirkwood says:

    Okay, that makes 23 bags of Superman gummies so far.

  102. Sheila says:

    “Foget this house they are paleo-vegan!
    I got a palm heart and an ear of wheat!”

  103. Bat says:

    I guess you could save it for next year and put a candle on it.

  104. Joao says:

    “oh dear… let me get some mints in my bag for your halitosis”

    “that’s what happens when you don’t bring snacks while waiting for the great pumpkin”

    “yes, *technically” it is a dinosaur puppet, but still…”

  105. Tanya says:

    Wow, your prosthetics guy has a weird sense of humour.

  106. (Random Chicken) Gavin says:

    This is why you shouldn’t be a red shirt.

  107. Ovidiu says:

    yes! we finally found the head of the headless horsechicken

  108. Oana says:

    Hmm, interesting! That indentation of the occipital bone suggests he might have died crossing the street.

  109. Ovidiu says:

    the headless horsechicken always hands out crap he doesn’t use

  110. Antonio says:

    The candy is out there, Scully. Also – I’m so not The Human Bat, I’m Batchicken!

  111. Craig says:

    I’ll show you mine if you show me yours

  112. Adrian says:

    “I warned you about that Colonel fella”

  113. lodger says:

    “C’mon…throwing severed heads is the new egging!”

  114. Sskip says:

    No, I will not trade you my full-sized Snickers bar for a candy skull.

  115. Garrett says:

    Huh. Either this is the biggest candy skull ever… Or I know why Billy isn’t trick-r-treating with us this year…

  116. Batman says:

    “Dad? Is that you?”

  117. Matt says:

    “Aww, mine is way smaller, and licorice.”

  118. Chris Thoma says:

    Alas, poor Robin! I knew him, Jim.

  119. Jackson says:

    “It’s McCoy, not Macbeth!”

  120. Alan Wang says:

    So that’s where Robin went

  121. sugar Low says:

    “Creepy Ventroloquist Kirk”.. yes, i will grant you that IS more original than my Batman costume.

  122. sugar Low says:

    No Mr. Shatner, I do not think a “Hamlet Soliloquy” is a fair trade for my Reese’s Pieces!

  123. Mark Adkins says:

    Of course you can have my candy, Lord Hypnoskull!

  124. Peter says:

    You wanted M&Ms but you got the bones of an Eminem fan.

  125. Diana Gamin says:

    Someone has a sense of humor darker than any villain in Gotham!

  126. Tim Canny says:

    Yeah, I always skip Khan’s house. Last year he handed out the entrails of the defilers. This year its the heads of his enemies.

  127. JB Stockdale says:

    Where does he get those wonderful toys?

  128. JB Stockdale says:

    I hate going to Two-Face’s house. Half of his treats are literal pieces of crap.

  129. John Talarico says:

    Raisins again. Not the treat that I want, but the treat I deserve.

  130. JB Stockdale says:

    Robins Eggs? I wonder what that means?

  131. JB Stockdale says:

    When your parents are dead all candy is a joke.

  132. Tim Drake says:

    Guys, I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat these cookies shaped like Martha and Thomas Wayne heads.

  133. The Rose says:

    You keep out of it, Kirk. This is between me and the little bastard next to you!

  134. P B says:

    Beam me up! There isn’t any intelligent candy here

  135. sugar Low says:

    I’ll do you one better! Somewhere in my bag i have a crystal one that i got from the Spielberg house… no one wanted them for some reason.

  136. Justin James says:

    Your Lieutenant Bailey and Balok costume is great, but if you don’t stop asking for tranya at every house we stop at, you can trick-or-treat by yourself!

  137. Wildbird says:


  138. Susan Shyluk says:

    We always get weird stuff when we trick or treat at the prfessor’s house.

  139. Carson says:

    Alas, you couldn’t decide which Patrick Stewart character to go as again this year?

  140. Allen's Brain says:

    No, Dia de los Pollos Muertos is tomorrow night.

  141. Alfredo says:

    Is it from my dad or from yours?

  142. curtvile says:

    “Listen on this house I will be the only one doing the talki…oh jeez now I am replying to your creepy ventriloquist’s dummy.. this is bad–“

  143. Chuck V. says:

    Look at that! You got all Right Twixs and I got all Left Twixs!

  144. The Rose says:

    Please tell me that’s the most realistic sugar skull I’ve ever seen.

  145. Gee says:

    I dunno Jim, it could be white or dark meat…

  146. Gee says:

    now stick your fingers through the eyeholes and make them look like worms

  147. Gee says:

    no you’re not…I’m batman. see my cape?

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