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Follicle intimidator. *I* got scared – no need to even think about my follicles.
Hi!
What about “tea-sturber” for spoons? 🙂
Ciao,
Antonio
Well _that’s_ the way to get kids help in the household and brush their teeth regularly
Hmm, I don’t think “Plaque Eviscerator” or “Follicle Intimidator” are going to catch on at my house.
Given that this is a chicken comic the ‘egg thrasher’ is totally traumatizing!
Love it!
how about that tank top that’s commonly referred to as a wife beater? how weird… um, badass… is that???
thats what chuck norris has always called em!
I usually use the same style of names to refer to my various ex-girlfriends! “Drain Clogger” and “CD Stealer” are a couple of my favorites, although clearly no where near as badass as the sound of “Follicle INTIMIDATOR”.
LOL
Um… not to nitpick or anything, but could we maybe swap terms so that items 3 and 4 become “plaque thrasher” and “egg eviscerator” respectively?
I say that ’cause “eviscerate” implies that the object has viscera, i.e. guts. I don’t think plaque does, but eggs do (albeit in embryonic form). Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing.
Maybe dental floss could be a “plaque garrote”! But then again, does plaque have a neck? Okay, now I really am overanalyzing.
so…by this logic, a remote control becomes, uhm, Blunt Object of Destiny?
ooh ooh, a cell-phone becomes Tumor Producer, and a Crackberry becomes Thumb Breaker.
But if your toothbrush is an eviscerator, you need to a) not brush so damn hard, and b) get your gums checked by a professional. (viscera=blood n guts)
oh, and are non-chicken days common enough now that no one remarks on them?
oh part deux @ seraphine, you’re totally right that’s pretty sinister but in my experience there is a certain demographic where it might be uncannily accurate…
Considering that there’s 56 chickenless stickies, I’d assume yes.
@Zork & @Keith – you’re totally right about “eviscerate”. But logic doesn’t matter when you’re badass!
It’s hard to have “badass” describing anything that has to do with chickens. After fifteen years, I can tell you. Chickens just have a hard time being badass… there are biker chick pictures, yeah, but those aren’t really badass.
But I imagine that Doug will find a way to make a chicken badass, won’t you?
@shanadian – You bet I will! Oh wait I already did draw a badass chicken!
I’m going to use “beardkiller.”
@Doug: can we look forward to a “biker chick” cartoon soon? Now that would be badasssssssss.
OH my gosh…I love the follicle intimidator.
that’s awesome!!
[…] Badass Names […]
The old Norse, who were Vikings and so intrinsically badass, called this a ‘kenning’. So for instance a sword (already badass) could be a wound-hoe (becoming double badass), a boat (the Viking long type with a dragon on the front – badass) could be a wave-steed (again, double badass), and so on.
Quite probably Mr Savage knows this, but i thought i would educate other readers. It is a key technique in linguistic badassery.
I am almost too afraid to go to the kitchen & bathroom now…
Bread scorcher is far too accurate for my toaster…
and my car is called The Antichrist.